Jeweler tells her boyfriend of 7 years that all the jewelry he's bought her is fake. AITA?
"AITA for telling my boyfriend the jewelry he bought me is fake?"
This happened on Valentine’s Day and it’s still been on my mind. I am 32 and female, my BF is 36 male, we have been together 7 yrs. We have a very good relationship, but he has not proposed. We both have decent jobs, we bought a house together, cars together, we raise our kids together.
A couple of holidays he has bought me jewelry. It has always been thoughtful, and things that I have wanted and liked that he remembered from a conversation. Let me also tell you that I am a jeweler for a big jewelry company. I get a very good discount of jewelry that would apply to him shopping for me. It’s not hard for me to see when something is fake as I inspect and fix other people jewelry all day.
The first time I didn’t say anything. I assumed he probably got swindled and I still wore it. The second time I did not say anything again, and again still wore it. Now on Valentine’s Day he got me something I’ve been looking for, for a long time. I was so excited. I couldn’t help but to be disappointed when I realized it was fake as well.
I felt an urge to ask him how much he paid for it. I was thinking, is he getting ripped off from the same company over and over or does think I don’t notice? I said something. But the way I said it I still feel bad about. I said, “You know it’s fake right? Like all the other jewelry you got me?”
I could see he looked sad when I said that. I tried to smooth the situation out and explain these rare gems cost a lot of money, if this is less than 500 dollars it’s most likely going to be a fake. I don’t want you to get ripped off.
He said no, he didn’t pay that much for it. Part of me was relieved and another part was kind of upset he didn’t research it at all. I don’t want him to spend that much of me for Valentine’s Day.
But I also don’t want to wear fake jewelry when I work with jewelry experts, and I am a jewelry expert myself. This isn’t a big on going fight or anything. There’s not a bunch of drama tied to it still. But did I prevent him from wanting to buy me jewelry in the future? Should I have just kept quiet. AITA?
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
wonderfulkneecap said:
NTA. Your partner sounds both cheap, and like he underestimated how good you are at your job! If my boyfriend was a watch dealer, I wouldn't buy him a "Rolex" off the Internet/a thrift store. You're doing the right thing by pointing out to him that his gifts have been bad! Now, he has the opportunity to do better!
Homeboat199 said:
NTA. It's pretty dumb for him to buy jewelry for someone who's expertise is jewelry. He would have been smarter to pick another gift.
AuggieNorth said:
He does know you're a jeweler, right? It seems odd that he wouldn't make sure, knowing this was your field of expertise. You had to say something eventually, because you don't want to see him getting burned.
If a dude was big into sports memorabilia, and his wife wanted to get him something for his birthday or Christmas, you'd think she would go out of her way as much as possible to ensure that the item was real. NTA.
Particular_Carob_127 said:
YTA it's the thought that counts and not the gift itself. Just because you have money, it doesn't mean you should spend it. No wonder he hasn't proposed yet. I wear fake jewelry all the time, no one notices because it looks and feels like the real deal. Hope he doesn't marry you, the poor guy deserves better, and he doesn't want half his sh$t gone in a divorce. You sound so entitled, calm it down a bit.
aaaafm said:
NTA. I am sure you have talked about jewelry with him - brands, stones, prices etc. I am an amateur jeweler and I have discussed these things a million times with my husband. I think he knew he was getting fakes. He underestimated your expertise and got caught.
thewetnoodle said:
NTA I would bet he ordered the jewelry online. People right now love to order fake stuff off temu or whatever else garbage foreign website. The pictures advertise well but obviously you know better.
It's possible no one ever taught him the value of jewelry or what makes something cost more than another. He might literally just see the fake shit and think "looks the same to me" You'll probably have to say to him hey, I can't wear this to work. It's a bad look. Either get me the real stuff or something else all together like flowers.
To some extent though HE might be being an ahole. Like there's no way he bought the jewelry from where you would get discounts, so he knows he's buying it from a shady place. He's making the conscious choice to spend less when he knows you value it, not just cause it's from him but because you love jewelry. This is kinda him undermining your career and passion.