Someecards Logo
ADVERTISING
'AITA for not comforting my ex-boyfriend's crying daughter, and saying: 'it's not my problem?'

'AITA for not comforting my ex-boyfriend's crying daughter, and saying: 'it's not my problem?'

ADVERTISING

"AITA for telling my ex boyfriend's daughter: 'it's not my problem?'"

I (38f) dated John (40m) for about 6 months (we had known each other for a year before we started dating). We broke up 3 months ago. The reason for the breakup was because of his daughter, Tia (16f).

From the very beginning she was hostile towards me. Rude comments. Putting me, my cooking, etc down. Constantly referring to me as "that b--ch". She said I was the reason her parents broke up. (False. They broke up 10 years ago, 9 years before I met John).

I have a stepmom who went out of her way to try and push her way into my life. So I actively did everything I could to be the exact opposite. I tried to give her space. I tried talking to her, asking her what I could do to at least make things between us civil. Her answer: I could voluntarily leave this world.

John was no help. He'd threaten to ground her, take her things away, but they were empty threats and Tia would just continue her tirade against me. Her mother, Chloe, (who honestly is awesome) even tried to talk to her and figure out what her problem was. Tia couldn't come up with 1 reason why she didn't like me, she "just didn't."

It all came to a head one night while they were at my house. We had ordered food and I went to go pick it up. When I got back I found John in my dining room, sweeping up the remains of my grandmother's antique pitcher. My grandmother meant the world to me so seeing the pitcher destroyed broke my heart.

I demanded to know what happened and Tia gave me a smirk and said, "Oops. It was an accident." I asked her how it was "an accident" and she just shrugged and said something like, "I think I bumped the table and it just fell off." There's no way that can happen. My dining table is heavy.

You would have to slam yourself into it to even shake that pitcher.

I told them to leave and spent the rest of the night crying. The next day I called John and told him I couldn't do this anymore. He tried to talk me out of it, but my mind was made up. Fast forward to two days ago. I leave work and there's Tia.

She started going on about John's new girlfriend, Jane. How Jane is a monster. Evidentially Tia tried her old tricks on Jane, but Jane gives it right back to her. Tia calls her names, Jane calls her names back. Tia insults Jane, Jane insults her back. The worst was that Tia "accidentally" broke something of Jane's and in retaliation Jane took Tia's phone and smashed it.

I asked her if she had told her mom. She had and Chloe decided that Tia wasn't to go over to John's anymore. I told her something like, "It sounds like everything's settled then." Tia started crying, asking if that was it? I just looked at her and said, "Yep. Your mom handled it. It's not my problem." And I left.

I was talking to my sister about this last night and she called me an AH. She said that obviously Tia is hurting and needed me. She came to me for a reason and the least I could have done was be a shoulder for her to cry on. I just don't feel anything. I think I'm just numb to Tia now. So AITAH?

The commenters did not hold back.

corgihuntress wrote:

I would have asked her why she came to you, but that's just my eternal curiosity. She chose a f--k around path and now she's finding out.

She likes you better than Jane and my bet is she was hoping you could come back into the picture so Jane would leave, though I can't imagine she'd treat you that well if you did get back together with her dad (which never was going to happen because you aren't a doormat). In the end, you simply reminded her that she didn't want you in her life before, and so you're not. This is not a you problem. NTA.

MaddestMissy wrote:

NTA.

And I like Jane btw. Tia needed consequences for her behaviour and Jane seems the only one being willed to give her these. Not saying you were wrong with your approach morally wise but Janes‘s seems to be the one working.

vgacolor wrote:

"I was talking to my sister about this last night and she called me an AH. She said that obviously Tia is hurting and needed me."

NTA, and your sister is out of line.

This is not a 10-year-old is a 16-year-old problematic teenager that is not related to you and is going to be a pain to any woman her father ever gets involved with. She did not even care to build a relationship with you and destroyed something you cared for dearly. Sorry you don't owe her anything. You could have gone out of your way to help and console, but not obligated in any way.

ShaHocks wrote:

I fail to see why on Earth your own sister would call you an AH in this situation. The girl got what she wanted - you out of her dad’s life. If his new gf is giving as good as she gets - probably not the best way for a grown adult to behave but this girl sounds awful - and her mother knows, then what are you expected to do? Tia is having her first taste of the old “play stupid games; win stupid prizes” lesson.

Held_Accountable723 wrote:

NTA. Tia’s been awful to you for months, and you don’t owe her anything. She’s not your responsibility, especially after everything she’s put you through. You tried to be kind, and she repeatedly disrespected you. Why should you keep tolerating her crap?

ExpertChar7871 wrote:

I actually don’t think Tia wants you back in her dad’s life. She’s still trying to stir sh*t and create drama. Once she’s rid of the new gf - she’ll go back to her old tricks with you.

Sources: Reddit
© Copyright 2025 Someecards, Inc

ADVERTISING
Featured Content