'AITA for telling my husband he ruined our honeymoon?'
"AITA for telling my husband he ruined our honeymoon?"
Due-Ad5669
So, my husband and I just got back from our honeymoon, and honestly, I’ve been holding onto a lot of frustration since we returned. We had both been so excited about it because it was our first big trip together as a married couple. It was supposed to be a romantic, once-in-a-lifetime experience, but it turned out to be anything but that for me.
A few weeks before the wedding, my husband started talking about how it would be "fun" if we invited his best friend and his wife to join us for part of the honeymoon. I immediately told him that I wasn’t comfortable with the idea because I wanted this trip to be about us, but he kept bringing it up, saying it would make the trip “more exciting” and less “boring.”
I stuck to my guns and thought I had made it clear that it wasn’t happening. Well, we arrive at our destination, and to my shock, his best friend and wife are waiting at the hotel lobby.
My husband had secretly invited them anyway, saying it would be “no big deal” and that we could still have our alone time. But the entire trip turned into group dinners, shared activities, and zero intimacy. I barely got any time with just him, and when I brought it up, he acted like I was overreacting. He said we could go on a "private vacation" another time, and that I should be grateful we got to travel at all.
When we got home, I told him he ruined what was supposed to be our special honeymoon. He just shrugged and said I was making it a bigger deal than it was, and that "we'll have plenty of other trips." I can't shake the disappointment, though, and he still doesn't seem to get why I'm upset. AITA for feeling like my honeymoon was ruined and telling him so?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
eve_tpa
Besides ignoring your wishes and going behind your back, I'm concerned that your husband thinks spending time with you alone is boring. NTA, by the way.
Due-Ad5669 (OP)
Ooh no..I have actually never thought of it like that. Now that breaks my heart even more.
__lavender
If you haven’t already submitted your signed marriage license, maybe don’t do that just yet.
saltyfemalvet93
This is a forecast of your future, he is going to continue to ignore your wishes, and go behind your back. Don’t summit your marriage license, and walk away fast.
Tee1up
OP has to read this ^^^. Her wonky donkey is on his best behavior right now and the fact that he could pull that level of deceit during a honeymoon no less, is grounds for a second look at this relationship.
haleorshine
I wanna know what he said to the best friend and his wife that made them ok with going on their honeymoon. If I was the best friend's wife, I'd be like "What do you mean we're going on their honeymoon with them? Absolutely not."
And if my husband insisted, I would then be going to the wife-to-be to check. There is absolutely nothing that could convince me either that the wife-to-be has ok'd this without checking with her, verbally, whether she's fine with us going on her honeymoon, or saying yes because it's going to be a surprise.
KindlyCelebration223
NTA. He couldn’t manage to even pretend to care about your wants/needs/opinion or respect you for even one week after your wedding. Has the license been filed yet?
bythebrook88
"saying it would make the trip “more exciting” and less 'boring.'"
He thought a holiday with his new wife would be boring? OP, he doesn't love you. Get out of the marriage immediately.
Misommar1246
Your first mistake was not taking your bags and leaving. You sat there through the whole thing and probably also had intimacy with him and he thought oh this is great, I can just ignore what she wants and she’ll play along and give me what I want.
Your second mistake would be not looking into annulment. Boring because it’s just the two of you? Nope, super disrespectful. I’m outraged on your behalf, you’re absolutely underreacting.
SpaceTechBabana
Yo forgetttttt that. My wife and I just went on our honeymoon less than a year ago. We had very similar plans to yours, seemingly. All we did was rent a really nice cabin by a lake and spent all our time together cooking and drinking and relaxing.
If her best friend showed up unexpectedly, I’m outtttt. No way; enjoy our honeymoon with your best friend. And her best friend is my tattoo artist so I love her as well but it would still be a no.