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'AITA for telling my mom to back off after she criticized my parenting in front of my sons?'

'AITA for telling my mom to back off after she criticized my parenting in front of my sons?'

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"AITA for telling my mom to back off after she criticized my parenting in front of my sons?"

I (32F) have two young sons (ages 6 and 4). My mom has always had strong opinions about everything I do, but since becoming a mom myself, it feels like her critiques have been relentless. She constantly comments on how I feed them, discipline them, or even what clothes I dress them in.

For context, I’m financially secure and have the resources to give my boys a comfortable life, but my parenting philosophy is very different from how I was raised. I don’t believe in harsh punishments, and I try to be as gentle and understanding as possible. My mom, however, thinks I’m “spoiling” them. She’s called me “soft” and says I’m raising “entitled brats.”

Last weekend, we had a family dinner at my house. My 4-year-old had a tantrum because he didn’t want to eat what I made. Instead of escalating the situation, I calmed him down and offered an alternative, which eventually worked. My mom, however, loudly berated me in front of everyone, saying I was “failing as a mother” and letting my kids “walk all over me.”

I got into a heated argument with her. I told her that if she couldn’t respect how I choose to raise my children, I wouldn’t tolerate her constant criticism. The room went silent. She stormed out shortly after, and now my family is divided. Some say I should’ve just let it go to avoid conflict. Others think I was justified in standing up for myself.

Now my mom is telling everyone that I embarrassed her and made her feel unwelcome in my home. I feel bad because I don’t want to deprive my boys of a relationship with their grandmother, but I also feel like her behavior was unacceptable. AITA?

Here's what people had to say to OP:

NTA and who needs a grandma like this? My grandparents were my safe space and there is no way they would have pulled this s____.

OP:

Exactly, my grandparents are nothing like my parents they are the most loving and supporting people i know

I'm a grandmother and I keep my opinion to myself.....unless I'm asked :) NTA

NTA. You were fed up with her constant criticism so it was OK to talk back at your mother. Don’t let the family guilt trip you.

OP:

I'm really fed up with her always criticism me I just could not hold back anymore.

NTA… but at the same time she has a point. You can’t have your son just not want something that you took time to make, and therefore offer something else, he should eat what you made him and be happy unless it was (no offense) rubbish, which I assume it wasn’t.

At the same time though, she can’t medal with your lives or yell at you like that over your own personal decision, so she was definitely in the wrong, but kinda right with one of her points.

Your mother is right. If a 4 yr old threw a tantrum and your answer was to give him what he wanted you are in fact raising entitled brats. However they are your brats to deal with so NTA.

ESH. You are enabling behaviors that lead to the creation of entitled adults. What happens when your son grows up and throws a tantrum at his partner when they don’t cater to him? You probably are spoiling him. If this is a rare occurrence, then sure, mom’s a total dbag.

My guess is that this is typical behavior. Your mom needs to keep her mouth shut in public and in front of the kids. Her concerns should be addressed in private with you directly.

Sources: Reddit
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