Bride regrets inviting meddling mother who derailed wedding plans and ruined reception night. AITA?
"AITA FOR TELLING MY MOTHER I WISH SHE HADN'T COME TO MY WEDDING?"
ubercornunicorn31
So my husband (M 40) and I (F 39) have been married for 10 years now, but I still feel sad when I think back on our special day. So firstly (for the context) we had only been together 19 months when we got married, in fact we had only know each other 19 months. But when you find the one I believe you know.
We decided on a small wedding (I'm disabled and my husband is my care giver. We survive on disability payments so money is tight). We had a registrary office wedding with less then 20 guests. Wedding dress off eBay £100, fake flowers, rings from a high street store. For us it was about us showing our love and being bonded forever, not a big lavish party that would put us in debt.
So here's where it went wrong, on the morning of the wedding I woke up at a friend's house with my MOH (27) and 2 flower girls (both 6) I had been told my husband-to-be's uncle was sorting the car but had no idea what it was. So Im getting ready, dress going on, make up, hair, you know the drill. When my step daughter/flower girl (we will call her Ellie) walks in and says "nanny's here".
You need to understand I was not close to my mother at all, I didn't even invite her because I wanted to, it was more to keep the peace. She certainly wasn't meant to be here the morning of. I ask Ellie to nip down saying "I'm nearly ready so I'll be down soon".
My mother took that as "come up see what's going on". As I got out of the seat for makeup and Ellie sat down to have her minimum amount of makeup up put on, my mother decides to remark how stupid Ellie will look with her soft pink and glittery white makeup on.
She then starts pointing out that my dress looked to baggy (it wasn't done up yet I was just putting it on). By this point I'm still wondering why she is here. I messaged my hubby to ask when the car will be here. it's now 10:25am and I'm half-hour away with no traffic.
It's Saturday, Saturday is market day, the town hall where I'm getting married is on the market hill. The answer I get back nearly knocked me over. "Babe, your mum said you asked you're step dad to take you."
WTF? Then I think maybe they have decided to hire me something, so I got into the front room but out of the window I see a ford galaxy people carrier, and it's not even been washed. There's no time now hubby's uncle can't get here and back before my 11am wedding. I have no choice but to go in this thing.
So instructions are "we are running a little late now. Get near town, then turn off heading the back way to the town hall missing the town centre and market traffic" easy right? No. My step dad and mother had other ideas. We wasn't turning off, we wasn't missing the traffic.
What we were doing was following the 1 way system round the centre of town, through the 1 side of the market hill that was open to traffic, a lot of traffic, with the windows locked open playing I'm going to the chapel full blast. So not only am I stuck in traffic in a heap of cars, but my two 6 year old girls are crying with embarrassment and it's now 11:10 am.
At 11:30, I finally get to the place and I'm ready to walk in to see my very soon to be husband, when I realized my dad's not here. My step dad offers to walk me in but he is wearing purple and my color scheme is black white and gray. I later found out my mother told my dad I'd changed my mind and wanted my step dad to give me away.
But don't worry, this is not where it ended, she had a few last things. We had booked a hotel for the reception. She canceled the DJ pretending to be me, saying we had decided to just play some quite music in the background so people could sit and talk, and then the final blow was her calling the hotel and saying we didn't need the room as we were leaving for our honeymoon that night.
After an argument with her the next day because we had to spend the night in a tent in our back garden and my husband's elderly relatives were sleeping at our flat, I told her she ruined my day and I wish I hadn't asked her to come at all. AITA for that?
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
dncrmom
Why are you still in contact with her?
ASweetTweetRose
That’s what I’m wondering.
Regallady36
You were nicer than I would have been. NTA.
angelicak92
She intentionally went out of her way to ruin your day. It wasn't a naive "oh whoops", she wanted your day to be painful for you. How disgusting. I hope you cut her off. NTA.
LibraryMouse4321
You shouldn’t even have her in your life after that. Remind her any time you see her that you haven’t forgiven her for purposefully ruining your wedding. You should go full petty on her and ruin sorting of hers. Wait til she plans something and then do the same to her. Or plan something for her and then cancel without telling her. Payback.
Comfortable-Cup-6318
She didn't just ruin your day - she sabotaged it. What were her reasons for canceling and changing everything? What was your dad's reaction to being told you didn't want him in his role anymore? That would be enough for me to boot her out of my life permanently. NTA.