Childcare worker tells 'lazy' roommates they shouldn't have a baby. 'I refuse to responsible.' AITA?
"AITA for telling my roommates they shouldn’t have a baby?"
I (22f) have lived with my roommates (RM1 27f and RM2 30m) for nearly 3 years. They got married in May and are expecting their first baby in December. We all co signed a lease and are still contracted another 8 months (6 months after the baby’s due). I for one adore children and even work in a child care centre.
My roommates have always been incredibly lazy. I cook everyone’s meals, clean the dishes, vacuum, mow the lawns and pick up after THEIR dog that is always pooing inside and gets into everything. (I also agreed to an outside pet and we are not met to have any according to our lease agreement).
All of our friends were excited about the pregnancy and I was at first too. But now I’m filled with dread. At this points it’s important to note that RM2 hasn’t held a steady job in 3 years.
So they always “tight” on money, unless the spending benefits them. While RM1 has 2 jobs, but is always off “sick." I use “sick” as this was an issue even before the pregnancy. There have been multiple occasions where I have had to cover their rent and groceries (and I’ve never been paid back).
RM1 spends most of her time laying in bed complains that she’s too ill to work or help around the house, but is ok to go out 3 nights a week and continues to play weekend sports. And RM2 always has an excuse to why he’s not helping or he “will get to it later." As a result I’m completely burnt out from maintaining the house, working 2 jobs, studying and looking after my 27-30 year old children.
When ever someone offers them any advice or assistance during the pregnancy they’ll reply “but OP will help with the baby." And the closer it gets to baby’s due date, the more they shift the responsibility of their unborn child onto me: “OP will babysit” “OP will buy this, that etc."
And the comment that pushed me over the edge was “If we’re too tired we’ll move the cot into OPs room, she can deal with it." To which I replied they shouldn’t have a baby when they can’t look after themselves, and that I refuse to responsible for their kid.
This made RM1 cry, but I don’t feel bad, it was long over due to be said, but they’re now mad at me saying that I’m “too young to know the stress of having kids”. Half our mutual friends are on my side, and the other half are just mad that I said it, rather about what I said. Am I the a$3hole?
The easiest solution would be to move out, but currently everything in my area is out of my price range. I’ve even applied for a few places on my own but am unfortunately unsuccessful due too lack of rental history, and the one I due have is ruined due their dog being inside, despite countless efforts to move him into the yard.
Here's what the top commenters had to say:
MikeKerryWillie said:
NTA, but it’s a bit ridiculous that you’ve tolerated all of this till now. Why? You should’ve left them ages ago.
YouthNAsia63 said:
You need to look harder. And realize that if you aren’t tending to and paying for your adult “children”, you might have a lot more money, or more time to pick up a part time job.
But as it is, in a couple of months, your roommates are looking forward to having you as their live in nanny- and you need to do something about it. Your roommates shouldn’t be having. baby-they can’t even take care of themselves. NTA.
Cold_Light_299792458 said:
NTA for saying it but now you have an obligation to yourself to follow through. Start by not cooking for them. Make just enough food for yourself, lock away your groceries, cut them off financially and make it very very clear you are done subsidising them.
You have a busy schedule so start making yourself scarce at home, lock yourself in your room and be a huge “A-hole” to them in any way possible till the get the message: you are done being their doormat.
Their relationship only works coz you are their 3rd wheel. The moment you take yourself out of the equation, you will regain your financial and mental freedom while they will be forced to deal with themselves and each other. Wanna bet they will go up in flames within a couple of weeks?
Equivalent-Vast5318 said:
NTA. its time to stop being their mum and start being a roommate. stop cooking for them and only clean up after yourself. if you are going to be cleaning, do it when it suits you, im assuming that they stay up late at night, so start cleaning early morning.
GardenSafe8519 said:
NTA. Look for another roommate situation. Look in newspapers, online, ask around from friends if they know anything. Then tell the landlord that you would like to remove yourself from the lease as you can't afford to pay ALL the rent anymore when there are 2 other able-bodied people living there. And also tell the landlord about the animals.
collectiblesbytris said:
NTA, your room-mates will continue to walk over you more. You've got to do what's in your best interest. Is there a chance you have family nearby you could move back in with while you try find a new place? I'd get out of there asap! Also note to the landlord about the issues with those tenants and the dog when moving out.