'AITA for telling my sister she’s not bridesmaid?' 'She's always been a mean girl.'
"AITA for telling my sister she’s not bridesmaid?"
Backstory: my older sister Sarah has always been a mean girl and has mean girlfriends and coworkers. She has constantly made jabs at my girlfriend Missy. First it was over this spikey black purse that Missy had. She teased her about it being from Hot Topic. Missy never really spoke to my sister because I pre-warned her about how two-faced Sarah was so she could gossip about people when they weren’t around.
Next Sarah snagged a photo of the purse and took it to work to show everyone how ugly it was. One of her fellow nurses said "oh that purse is Valentino." Then Sarah calls me calling my girlfriend a "gold digger," and me "stupid" for buying her a Valentino purse. I had no clue about the purse and I didn’t even buy it. I told her maybe Missy or her parents got it for her. The purse incident because stupid family drama and it has lived in my sister’s head for 6 years. It’s like her obsession in what Missy does, wears, and acts.
Fast forward to me announcing our engagement this weekend for our wedding. Missy's parents are paying but we haven’t really decided on a venue yet or anything. I told my parents, and Sarah chimes in over the speakerphone about her bridesmaid dress, and her ideas for our upcoming wedding. I told my sister “What makes think you are invited let alone a bridesmaid?”
Sarah started screaming at me and my mom was upset saying I have to include Sarah in something. I told her I wasn’t and I ended the conversation and I told my parents who kept harassing me over text about Sarah if they continue this they aren’t going to be involved and invited to the wedding either. Sarah can’t contact me herself because I blocked her a long time ago and I’m not planning on changing that.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Pretend-Percentage45 said:
NTA no one is entitled to be a bridesmaid it is entirely up to the engaged couple who they include. If your sister can't handle the consequences of being a cow then maybe she needs to stop acting like one. Awesome job standing up to your family. Congratulations on the engagement.
Sure-Dust2251 said:
NTA, op your sister doesn’t know respect. She crossed lines with your partner and expected you to make her the bridesmaid? 100% NO! Hope your wedding goes well though.
IdkmanImSad1 said:
NTA. Your sister hasn't given you a single reason to include her. If she's upset, tough sh$t. You aren't required to include people who don't treat you or your spouse well at your wedding.
Laines_Ecossaises said:
NTA. Crazy she thinks her actions/attitude would never have consequences. Congrats on the engagement, sounds like you have the right attitude in dealing with your sister
RogueInsanity90 said:
NTA. Sarah showed her ass to her coworkers by mocking a high end purse she thought was from Hot Topic. She embarrassed herself. Rather than reflect on her behavior and change like an adult, she blames Missy. Now she feels entitled to make demands for your wedding? No, it's time for Sarah to grow up. She has no say in anything. Honestly, good for you for sticking up for not only yourself, but Missy. Your parent's created this monster, they can deal with her. You owe them nothing.
Immediate-Horse-3254 said:
NTA. Your sister is a problem you can’t solve and your parents aren’t willing to. Enjoy your wedding without her.
uTop-Artichoke5020 said:
WTF is wrong with your parents?? Sarah has been harassing Missy for 6 years. Missy should not have to deal with her any more than absolutely necessary. Seat her in a corner somewhere, out of your line of vision (if she makes it to the reception).
Tell your parents that Sarah will have to be on her very best behavior if she expects an invitation to the wedding.
Remind them that even then, the invitation can be revoked at any time and she can always be removed from the wedding should she not be able to control herself. If she makes it, be sure to have someone "assigned" to her. Truthfully, I don't think I would trust her not to make a scene.
Make sure that your parents understand that the subject is closed. Sarah has no place in your wedding party. Reiterate that they, too, can be left off the guest list should they not respect your decision. Above all else, shield Missy from Sarah's nastiness. NTA!!