I have 3 siblings and my mom is a single mom in a very high cost of living area. Needless to say we were broke growing up. My oldest sister always wanted what everyone else had so she started working when she was 11. When she was 15 she got a babysitting job for an extremely rich family.
The family always treated her really well. When they upgraded their phones or computers they offered her their old ones for free, they had her travel with them (she was technically working but she did get to see 12 countries in 3 years and flew first class every time), and they even gave her interest free loans when she got a car and when she went to college.
She graduated college 5 years ago and one of the parents was able to get her a job at her work’s childcare center. She moved up the ladder very fast thanks to their support and is now managing 5 locations.
I get that she did have to work but she also got a lot of this because of who she knows. She acts like she did all of this on her own though and she won’t help out family because if she managed to get where she is we could do it too.
Our mom is behind on rent and she asked my sister to help her out (my sister is about to buy a 2nd house) and my sister refused because she doesn’t think my mom has done anything to help herself.
I was sick of her acting like she’s better than us just because she had better opportunities so I told her the reason she’s well off now is because because she was a rich person’s charity case and they made sure she got good jobs and stuff. Now she’s mad at me for being rude and she’s refusing to help us out or talk to us. AITA?
YTA what HAS your mother done to help herself? Don’t get petty and jealous at your sister’s success, it looks like she’s worked very hard to get where she is.
Agreed! And she's used her connections to get a job, which anyone would do.
YTA. Your sister started working at 11. Found herself an amazing opportunity, through her own hard work, and nannied for a family for years. This family clearly appreciated her efforts for them. She put herself through college. And became successful, all on her own. She doesn’t owe you, your mother, or anyone anything.
She may have used her connections to get a job, but she did it herself to KEEP and thrive in the job.
I tell people part of doing well financially in life is hard work and a lot of luck. I didn't get handed anything, but had incredible luck to be at the right place at the right time professionally and taking the opportunities available and working my arse off. The sister sounds like she figured out how to operate well in business and took the opportunities she saw.
Starting work at 11 to buy stuff because you wanted it shows incredible drive. Knowing complaining about it wouldn't achieve anything, she knew she had to get it for herself and did so. No one is entitled to her money and she is able to do what she wants with the money she earned.
YTA. Your sister took the initiative and started looking for work when she was little. By her own hard work, she made contacts with people who could help her out in life. Which is how the real world works. "Its not what you know, its who you know" is a saying as old as time. Your sister put in the work, and she got the rewards that came with it.
Yes, it would be NICE of the older sister to help out, but she's not required to, and none of you are entitled to her success, which she earned by herself. Getting good contacts is just part of the success game. She played it, you didn't. She won, you didn't because you didn't play.
Honestly I kind of agree with your older sister here. Mom can't afford to pay the bills, but isn't willing to let you two get a part time job? She has options that don't involve begging, but she won't take them due to what, pride? Perhaps if you were happy for your sister and didn't just view her as a piggy bank for your own needs, she wouldn't feel so alienated that she doesn't want to help.
YTA - Jealous much? It is not like this was all handed to her. You mentioned yourself that your sister has been working on building connections and moving up the ladder since she was 11 years old.
She’s gotten to where she is through hard work, connections (which are earned btw), and yes a bit of luck too I’m sure. Just because your sister has money doesn’t mean your mom is entitled to it. Would it be nice if she helped out paying your mom’s rent? Yes. Is she obligated to do so? No.
Did you start working at 11--your sister did. Most people get to enjoy childhood at age 11--your sister did not. I do not think you have room to criticize your sister until you have worked as hard as she has ... How about YOU go to work OP and then help your mom out?
Yta. She owes you and your mom zero financial support. Her finances are none of your business. She was smart, worked hard, and earned every bit of goodwill from her past employers. If she had acted entitled or done crappy work none of their support would have occured. She took care of herself, starting at 11.
She didn’t have kids, she didn’t ask to be born. Your mom may have tried or not, but your sister is entitled to say no. To all of you. You can continue to be jealous and entitled or work your own way out of your situation, too. She doesn’t think she’s better because her life is better through her own efforts.
She’s entitled to be proud of her efforts, she should be because her work and wise choices are what earned the life and experiences she has now. The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary. The only “charity case” here are the ones asking for a handout they did nothing to earn.