Pixies_Love_Petals
So, here’s what happened: I (28F) invited my sister (25F) and her boyfriend (26M) over for dinner. I love cooking and had spent hours preparing this fancy meal: homemade pasta, a slow-cooked ragu, a salad, and a tiramisu for dessert. I was really proud of it and excited to have them over.
When they arrived, everything was fine at first. We sat down, and I started serving the food. Her boyfriend (let’s call him Steve) stared at the pasta for a moment, then looked at me and said, "I don’t eat carbs."
At first, I thought he was joking, but nope—he was dead serious. He goes on about how he’s "super into keto" and "carbs are the enemy." Okay, fine, that’s his choice. But when I offered to make him a salad or something else on the spot, he refused and said that I should have known about his diet beforehand.
This is where it gets weird. He then pulls out a small Tupperware container from his bag (!!!), filled with what looked like boiled chicken and broccoli, and starts to eat it at my dinner table while the rest of us are trying to enjoy the meal I spent hours making.
I was stunned and, honestly, kind of insulted. I told him it was rude to bring his own food without mentioning it to me beforehand, and he should have at least given me a heads-up. He then goes off about how people need to "respect his dietary choices" and that I was being "controlling" by not accommodating his needs.
At this point, I’d had enough. I told him, "If you can’t eat what’s served and won’t even let me make something else, then maybe you should just get out." He stood up, said something like "I’m just trying to be healthy," grabbed his Tupperware, and walked out. My sister stayed for a bit but eventually left too, saying I overreacted.
Now my sister’s mad at me, saying I embarrassed her boyfriend and made them both feel unwelcome. My mom thinks I should apologize, but my friends are on my side, saying Steve was being incredibly rude. AITA for telling him to get out?
shammy_dammy
Your sister didn't give you a heads up about his diet?
Pixies_Love_Petals (OP)
Honestly, no, she didn’t. I’m not sure if she even knew how serious he was about the whole keto thing because she never mentioned it. She eats pretty much anything, so I assumed he was the same.
But even if she had, I feel like it still would’ve been polite for him to at least say something beforehand instead of just showing up with his own meal. I would’ve happily made something keto-friendly if I had known!
rebekahster
They should have given you the heads up when accepting the invite. Even if she didn’t know before, he should have said something like “sounds great, does your sis know I’m Keto?” And all would have been good. Can I also ask how long that chicken had been in his bag getting warm ? 🤢
CatJarmansPants
He's a twat, because, well, keto baby...., but your sister is the big AH. It was her responsibility to either make sure you knew about twatboys' weird diet, and to try and come up with something that either you could all eat, or pave the way for him to bring whatever soulless slop he wanted to eat.
Or, indeed, to decide that given the effort you put into cooking, and hosting, it might be better if twatboy sits this one out. I probably wouldn't have told him to get ou because - well, I'm British - but I'd have felt as insulted as you. NTA.
Tessie1966
My son’s girlfriend has a gluten allergy. I know this because my son informed me before I made food for them. My husband’s daughter is vegetarian, my daughter has a milk allergy. I wouldn’t know any of this unless someone told me. You aren’t a mind reader.
youmustb3jokn
He lost me when you offered alternatives and to make him something and he insulted you by saying you should have known his diet. Nope. You are NTA.
TheTomahawk97
"But when I offered to make him a salad or something else on the spot, he refused and said that I should have known about his diet beforehand."
He's deluded. It's his responsibility to make you aware of any dietary requirements before he came over. You're not a psychic. You even offered to make him a different meal afterwards, and he refused. NTA, and don't invite him for dinner again. He sounds like a jerk.
Detcord36
He IS a jerk. NTA. Can't wait for the update where your sister blames you when they break up.
Updateme 😂 😂
CaniacGoji
NTA. I am also doing keto and quite enjoy it, but I would have said something beforehand or at least asked if it was okay if I bring something of my own. Your sister also could have mentioned he was doing keto.
throw05282021
NTA. Sounds to me like he's trying to cause a rift between you and your sister. Multiple red flags for abusive AH here. "You should have known..." You failed to "respect his dietary choices..." I hope the incident opened her eyes regarding his character and the future of her relationship with you if she stays with him.
Well, y’all, buckle up because things have escalated in a way I never expected. After my initial post, I figured things would calm down once my sister had time to cool off. Spoiler alert: they did not.
So, the day after I told Steve to leave, my sister texts me saying they want to "talk things through" at a family dinner. I assumed it would be just the three of us, maybe at a neutral restaurant, where we could hash it out like adults. Nope. Instead, my sister invites my parents, my brother, and Steve’s parents to this "dinner" at my parents' house, turning it into some kind of weird intervention.
I show up thinking it’ll just be a casual conversation, but the moment I walk in, Steve’s mom (let’s call her Carol) is already going off about how "Steve has always had special dietary needs" and how “people who care about him should respect his boundaries.”
The woman acts like the guy has a life-threatening allergy, not a trendy diet. My mom is sitting there looking super uncomfortable, while my dad’s just quietly sipping his beer, clearly wishing he were anywhere else.
So, Carol starts listing off Steve’s dietary restrictions, and she’s acting like I personally offended the whole keto community by serving pasta. Then—brace yourselves—Carol pulls out a folder. Yes, a literal folder, with printouts.
She hands one to me, one to my mom, and one to my dad. I’m flipping through this thing, and it’s full of Steve’s "dietary guidelines," suggested meal plans, and even a list of keto-friendly restaurants we could go to "in the future."
At this point, I’m doing everything I can not to laugh, but it gets worse. Steve pipes up and says he’s willing to forgive me for "disrespecting his lifestyle" if I agree to host a redo dinner where I follow his dietary restrictions to the letter.
He says this will prove I’m “serious” about making amends and respecting his needs going forward. I thought he was joking, but no—he was dead serious. He even pulled out his phone to show me some keto recipe apps that I "might find helpful."
I was in total shock. My sister, by the way, said absolutely nothing during all of this, just staring at her plate like she wanted to disappear. My mom, bless her, tries to smooth things over by suggesting we all just eat whatever we want when we’re together, but Carol snaps, “It’s not that simple!” She says that in their family, they "all follow keto together," and that’s why Steve is so "passionate" about it.
At this point, I’ve had enough. I stood up and said, “Look, I’m not redoing the dinner. I’m not making anyone a special keto feast. If Steve can’t eat what I cook, that’s fine, but bringing his own meal to my dinner without even telling me was disrespectful, and I’m not apologizing for feeling that way.”
And then—this is where it gets absolutely bonkers—Steve’s dad stands up, points at me, and says, “This is exactly why Steve doesn’t trust women to understand him. They always make it about themselves.” The whole room went silent. My dad finally spoke up, saying, “I think it’s time for you all to leave,” and started walking toward the door, basically escorting Steve’s parents out.
Steve and my sister stayed behind, but Steve was furious. He started yelling about how “family should support each other,” and then accused me of trying to sabotage their relationship because I’m “jealous” of what they have. At that point, I just walked out and left the whole mess behind.
Here’s the kicker, though: a couple of days later, my sister called me and told me she and Steve were taking a “break” because she “needed time to think.” Apparently, this whole keto fiasco was the last straw in a long list of controlling behavior from Steve.
She didn’t realize just how bad it was until the whole family saw it play out at dinner. She even told me that Steve had been trying to get her to follow his diet for months, but she was hiding snacks in her car just to get a break from all the keto madness!
So now, Steve’s gone full radio silent, my sister is staying with me for the time being, and I’m still getting passive-aggressive texts from Carol about “how hurt Steve is” and how “he’s just misunderstood.” Honestly, I’m just glad my sister is finally seeing how controlling this guy was.