'AITA for telling my parents we won’t be around for Christmas Eve and Christmas?'
"AITA for telling my parents we won’t be around for Christmas Eve and Christmas?"
Me (28M) and my wife (26F) have been married for about two years. As the old stories go, my wife and mother have not always gotten along. In fact when I first got married my mother was so mean to my wife, I stopped talking to my family for about 6 months.
Last year during Christmas my wife, mother, father, and I all got into a yelling match that ended up making a horrible Christmas.
The issue really springs from my mother wanting us to be around on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.
We are trying to split the holiday between my wife’s family and mine. So the plan was to go see my family the 20th-23rd of December, head home to have Christmas Eve and day just my wife and I, and then head over to see my wife’s family for the 26th-29th.
We thought this would be a great way to balance our time, and to be fair to each family by not choosing to see one family over the other on the holiday.
In theory this makes sense to me, but my mom feels like she is just getting the short end of the deal. She has also booked where we will be staying for the 21st-24th.
I can’t help but feel like she has done this to force us into being around for Christmas Eve, and I can see her doing stuff to make us stay until late on the 24th. AITA for standing our ground and still leaving on the 23rd? I don’t want this to end up in a big fight again like last year. But I don’t want to be forced into staying.
Let's see what readers thought:
themaskmam writes:
NTA. Your boundary is your boundary, your plan is your plan. The booking through the 24th can’t be anything but a manipulative tactic since you gave no permission or indication for her to do so. Stand your ground. Your folks should consider themselves lucky you’re spending any time with them considering the holiday history.
Also, it’s really great that you’re making sure you split time evenly between each family. That takes thorough communication and understanding, and is a sign of a healthy relationship.
coua09 writes:
NTA. You are an adult and can make your own choices about how long any visit will be. That said, INFO: why is your mom making reservations for your accommodations (instead of you and your wife doing so)?
royala9 writes:
NTA...Your mother has made her intentions clear. It's time to set those boundaries. She can adapt or not, but that's not your problem.