"AITA for tipping 83 cents?"
I went out to dinner with my wife last night. When the bill came I gave the waitress my card. She came back shortly after looking upset. She slapped the card down on the table and said "declined." I thought her tone and brevity was rude. I took out a different card from my wallet and handed it to her.
While I was putting the first card in my wallet she didn't move. I looked at her and said "You okay?" She said "If I go back and try to run this are you still going to be sitting here when I get back?"
I asked her if she thought her tone was appropriate for speaking to customers. She said "you're only a customer if you pay." I asked to speak to her manager. She left with the card. My wife said maybe the waitress had encountered scammers before and was anxious about it.
I said being rude and being cautious are two different things. The waitress returned with my card and the slip to fill out. She said "This one worked. I'm sorry." I thanked her and took the booklet. Our bill was $91.17. I wrote in 83¢ as the tip and $92 as the total. I handed it back to her and started to get up to leave.
She said "you're really not going to tip me?" I said "no, you were rude to me." She said "I have to tip out the bartender and the busboy. I just paid money to serve you." I said "Well, in the future you shouldn't be so rude."
My wife thinks I was an AH to the waitress and should have given her ten bucks at least, because it was an honest misunderstanding. I would have given her $28.83 if she wasn't rude to me, but I don't want to pay to be insulted.
Was I the ahole? For the record I called my bank and the card was flagged for fraud because of a pending $1 change that is often associated with fraud attempts. I resolved it.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
greent67 said:
I NEVER approach a guest with a declined card with rudeness or hostility. We have a lot of foreigners come in and those are the cards that most often decline, sometimes it’s a safety on the banks end and sometimes it’s just our machine.
I always say something along the lines of “I’m so sorry my reader is having a hard time with this card do you have another one I can try?” Sometimes it’s as simple as them answering a safety alert text and running it again, sometimes I try a different POS and it works fine, but I would never handle it the way your server did. NTA OP she was rude and hostile af.
JustTheFacts714 said:
Servers have control over one thing during a meal: They cannot control food quality, timely delivery (for the most part), or available menu selections. Servers control their manners. This server failed.
TheDCMuppetMurderer said:
NTA. Former server here, and I wouldn't have even left the 83 cents.
Emotional-Listen5763 said:
NTA As a service person, the one thing you always handle with delicacy is a declined card. It's embarrassing to everyone.
Big_lt said:
NTA. She called you a criminal for literally no reason. She also never brought the manager over. Here is a tip for all servers, the tip is based on your service, actions and quality you provide.
Stop expecting it to be 20+% and doing a half a-- job. It's not the customers fault you decided to choose an industry where your wage is tied to tips.
dickhertzfromholdn said:
I was hosting a business lunch. 6 of us drinks and all. Gave my business AMEX. The server came back and said, "I had a phone call." Went back, and she explained that the card was declined. Gave her a personal card, and she got the 50% tip. Laughed thanked her, and she said no problem.
thornynhorny said:
NTA and I would take it one step further, call the restaurant, tell them what happened, say that you asked to speak with a manager and she did not bring a manager to you.
So you want to let the manager know about her treatment of you so that this doesn't happen to other customers and potentially ruin their business reputation.