'AITA for tipping my barista $100?' 'I inadvertently made things worse for myself.'
"AITA for Tipping My Barista $100?"
Here's the deal: a couple of weeks ago, I won a small but significant amount of money from a bet. It wasn't life-changing, but it was definitely more than I'd ever won before, so I was feeling pretty generous. The next morning, I went to my usual coffee shop, and when my favorite barista handed me my coffee with her always-cheerful smile, I decided on a whim to tip her $100. She's always going above and beyond, knows my order by heart, and her sunny disposition brightens my day. I thought it would be a nice way to pay forward some of my good luck.
I didn't think much of it at the time, but word got around fast. It turns out, a regular sitting nearby saw the whole thing and decided to spread the news. By the next week, rumors had morphed into tales of my "vast riches" won through gambling. Suddenly, acquaintances I barely talk to were approaching me, congratulating me on my win and subtly (and sometimes not-so-subtly) hinting at financial hardships they were facing.
It got worse when a distant relative reached out to me on social media asking if I could lend them a sizable sum to help out with some debts. I was taken aback. Yes, I won some money, but after taxes and setting aside a portion for savings, it wasn't as if I could start handing out loans.
When I started to politely decline these requests, explaining the situation wasn't as extravagant as they'd heard, people became cold. Some accused me of being stingy, others of flaunting my win only to hold back when it came to actually helping out. I've even heard through the grapevine that some are calling me selfish behind my back.
I'm feeling frustrated and a bit isolated. I thought I was doing a nice thing by tipping someone who provides great service every day. Now, I'm wondering if I inadvertently made things worse for myself by drawing this kind of attention. I'm starting to question if I should have been more discreet with my winnings or if people are overreacting.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
Koralmarai said:
NTA it's your money you can do what you want with it. Unfortunately theres always going to be greedy people who will try to take advantage of you the moment you show any sort of generosity. Dont let them discourage or make you feel bad
dr-g1ump said:
NTA. You can tip anyone however much you please, but you don't seem too smart to be broadcasting your good fortune and financial situation in public. That's how you get people following you home, start casing you out and asking for loans/help. Especially in a small town. Your heart was in the right place, but tips should be discreet. You certainly brought this upon yourself. But at least now you know better.
blucougar57 said:
NTA. Not your fault that some stranger blabbed. Stories like this always end up vastly exaggerated. The so-called friends and family that are coming out of the proverbial woodwork and getting pissy over you declining to “loan” them anything are not worth bothering about. They really aren’t.
TheSithOne327 said:
NTA. Being generous to someone by no means obligates you to loan money or give money to people who feel they “deserve” it due to financial irresponsibility or inability to earn or save it themselves. If more people learned how to earn their way through this life by working hard and being responsible there wouldn’t be so much selfishness.
Foxy_mama_bear said:
Even if you had hit the power ball, you're under no obligation to give or loan anyone money. NTA.
QualityMaleficent116 said:
NTA. This is called a process of elimination, now you know who has your best interest at heart and those that only have their hands out. Don't ever feel bad for doing something out of the kinds of your heart. Those people are not entitled to your money even if you won a billion dollars.