'AITA for wanting to take my bio kid to Disney and not including my bonus kids?'
"AITA for wanting to take my bio kid to Disney and not including my bonus kids?"
I (31) have a kid (2) with my boyfriend (31). He has previous kids from a previous relationship, 8 & 9 years old. I am the bread winner due to him not being able to keep the good jobs. We lost our rental a couple of months back due to his lack of financial responsibility. (I did not know he wasn't making payments towards certain bills therefore, me paying for everything plus playing catch up became too much.)
During these past couple of months we have been living with his parents, and our goal was to pay off our debt. Well, I've caught up on nearly 10k on debt while he's been able to only pay off $500. I do give him grace knowing he doesn't make much money, however, I know he has no other payments other than his phone and daycare.
Therefore, paying a little extra towards debt should not be an issue. Anyway, this summer, I really wanted to take a trip out to Disneyland. I told him about us going as a whole, he agreed. Well as it gets closer, he's now saying we don't need to go, it's going to be too hot and too packed. "The little one won't remember" "the older kids aren't that into Disney anymore" which he tends to do this type of tactics when he realizes he can't financially do it.
I have no issue doing 50/50 but that's where he won't meet me half way. He rather no one go. So my question is, would I be the ahole if I decide to make it a trip with just my bio kid and I? And him pay his way if he can afford it? I hate this situation but I am a firm believer in not letting my kid lose out on experiences if others aren't willing to do that for them. This is why I work so hard, so she will never miss out on anything and have everything she wants and needs.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
ParlorSoldier said:
ESH. On what planet can you afford a trip to Disney when you’re living with your boyfriend’s parents? At least he has enough sense to think it’s a bad idea. Your 2 year old isn’t going to remember anything; I think you’re using this as a means of sticking it to your boyfriend because you’re resentful of his financial situation. Well guess what girlie, you tied yourself to this man for life, and you’re living in his parents’ house too. This is also your financial situation.
Impossible_Rain_4727 said:
YTA: It would be 100% fine to only take your bio kid, if you were separated from your boyfriend. However, you can't date, live with, and have a baby with a man with two kids and then treat the kids unequally. That will only build resentment which will make your life harder in the long run.
TheRealEleanor said:
YTA. You daughter NEEDS a house. She isn’t even old enough to know if she WANTS a trip to Disneyland. Take the money you would spend on vacation and go get some housing, preferably without your financially unstable boyfriend.
Disastrous-Sthe said:
It never seizes to amaze me how some women choose to continue to settle for men who destabilize their home and, in turn, distabilizes their children. You chose this man. But, you do you boo. YTA.
jrm1102 said:
YTA - You guys are a family unit, if your boyfriend is not pulling his weight financially for the family, you don’t punish the kids. And to add, why are you taking a trip to Disney if you have financial and housing issues?!
HisPeach757 said:
I don’t normally comment on threads but this has my blood boiling….Get your priorities straight for your little one….You sound as stupid as him, you don’t have secure housing for your child yet want to take a 2 year to Disney??? Wtf is wrong with you?? Grow up for the sake of your child...