'AITA for threatening to sue my parents for renting out the property I inherited?' UPDATED 3X

"AITA for wanting to use my property?"

My grandmother died and left me some property. I was freshly 18 at the time of her death and so I let my parents handle most of the lawyer stuff (I know, dumb), well cut to now, I’m 22 and about to graduate college.

I got a job (related to my studies) in the same city as the property is, so I started making a pinterest board of how I’d decorate since it would be the first time I’d live in a place where I could truly make it my own. My mother who follows me saw the board and asked me about it and I told her it was for the property, since I’d be moving in as soon as I graduate. She panicked but didn’t bring it up further.

Later that night, my father arrived and immediately sat me down to tell that they were renting the property and I legally wouldn’t be able to evict the tenants in three years. I got a little mad and asked where the money was, then. Both my parents were offended and told me they were using it to look after my grandpa, which I have no problem with.

I agreed to let the people renting stay and rent a place myself close to my job while the lease agreement ended. I communicated this to my parents and my mother flew into a rage and told me the money from the rent would go to my grandpa until he died, then to her sister (who’s 55 and well off, By the way) and then to support them financially in their seniority.

They called me selfish and greedy. I told them how was it selfish for me to want something to rely on when poverty in my country is very prevalent, my mother said it was her mother’s property so she has more right to it than I do. I threatened to press charges and they kicked me out.

They told me I could go back and access my savings I’ve been building up since I was 15 (which they control) if I apologized for being so greedy. I know I probably shouldn’t have threatened to press charges but it irks me that they decided to do this without my consent or even letting me know? I need help.

What do you think? This is what top commenters had to say about this messy situation:

nicolasbaege said:

NTA what the hell is wrong with your parents? The property is yours. They should have never rented it out without asking you in the first place. Now they are basically telling you that they have been planning to use it as their extra piggybank for their whole lives? What did they think would happen, that you'd just forget about the property or something?

They are being selfish hun. You've been already pretty accommodating by not blowing up with rage when you found out you couldn't use YOUR property for the next three years because of them. I would even go as far as getting legal help with this. They clearly took advantage of your naivety when you were younger but with a lawyer I'm sure you can get control back.

GarconMeansBoyGeorge said:

NTA. Sounds like your parents are literally stealing from you and you need a lawyer yesterday.

n_jobz_ said:

NTA. She left it to you so it’s yours. Get a lawyer ASAP. I feel your parents may be lying about a number of things here- especially the ‘can’t evict for three years’ part. However, you’ll need to be mindful of the fact that this could get very ugly and hugely impact your relationship with your parents. Are they in a position to look after your grandpa without the rent money?

verdebot said:

Nta adopt a lawyer

allyfiorido said:

NTA - Lawyer up. If you decide you want to live on your property, lots of governments allow for you to evict the tenants, if you or a family member need to live there. Look into your local laws.

Commenters agreed, unanimously: NTA.

OP later shared this series of updates:

Update #1: So I contacted the only lawyer I know, my godfather (who’s my father’s best friend so I was scared shitless that he’d go running to tell him) Apparently I trusted him enough to tell him. He directed me to a colleague of his who’s a property lawyer in my country. And I’m contacting him know showing him everything I have.

My father hasn’t attempted to call me in a narcissistic rage so I assumed he hasn’t heard about it. I’ll gather my options and try to talk it out with my parents before serving them, if they still refuse to let me make use of my property then I’ll for sure sue them.

My godfather offered to pay for his colleague to help me out and also offered me to stay at his, which is very nice of him, so at least I won’t be sleeping in my car anymore. As soon as I know my options I’ll “apologize” and do what I said above. I’m still a bit nervous about my godfather telling my dad but he’s the only lawyer I know about.

Update #2: Since people seem confused about this: I pay property tax every year, my savings are in cash, I have found a lawyer trough my godfather and I’m talking options with him. I personally paid for all the repairs and renovations the property needed.

I have found trough my aunt (she’s cool, I think my parents just used her as a tool), that they did the whole renting process trough another uncle, and they all thought I was aware of it because they apparently had electronic copies of my signature and ID (what the hell). My family seems to be supporting me so far. I also managed to find out they’re making $650 American dollars off of rent!!!

I have confirmed that the money is going towards my grandpa, his bills, food, hospital and medicine bills. That is all I know so far, I will try to contact my parents only with my lawyer present when I have a solid plan. I will update then. Also I’m a female, I dont know if that would change anyone’s perception of this.

LAST UPDATE: Alright I come to y’all with an update. As some may know, I had a lawyer look over everything. I managed to get the contract for the lease with my uncle and and he also had a copy of the deed (I still don’t know much about real estate). With al the info and my options at hand I marched myself over to my parents house and “apologized” for my behavior.

Took some classes and let them condescend me. As soon as they were out of the house I took my saving from the safe (it was all cash and also intact), as well as some valuables like jewelry and heirlooms which were also left to me in my grandmother’s will.

After transferring everything to a safe location I waited for them on the table, with my lawyer present of course. They got to the house later that day and I explained to them, that they basically committed theft and fraud and that I could in fact take them to court. I calmly (I dont know how my anxiety didn’t do me dirty, honestly) told them everything ilegal they had done:

Using my id and electronic signature (identity theft), renting out my property without my permission as I am an adult and they have no power of attorney over myself or my property. My mother looked ashamed and wouldn’t look up, my father flew into a narcissistic rage and told me that it was my responsibility as his daughter to take care of them in their old age.

I told them that maybe it did but it also had to come from me, instead of them forcing me to do it. We came to an agreement and they signed a contract of sorts that my lawyer made, where it basically meant that they had to leave my property, that this was a warning and that if the actions failed to cease that I would take them to court.

My mother signed and cried forgiveness basically on her knees, my father signed a little hesitantly but signed nevertheless. I’m renegotiating the lease with the tenants because they’re an innocent party, and am doing everything the legal route now. So yeah.

That’s it for now, and I hope forever. Thanks for al the advice and validation. I know my parents are narcissistic but I still live in a culture where family is sacred and I felt I had to at least honor that and try to go the passive way before outright suing them. So I guess that’s it. Thank you all! <3