'AITA for forcing a woman to return the bag of cans she stole out of the back of my truck?'
"AITA for forcing a woman to return the bag of cans she stole out of the back of my truck?"
I was out yesterday running errands. And I had a really big transparent bag of cans I was going to take to the bottle drop in the bed of the truck. I stopped to get lunch first at a place with 'sub' and 'way' in the name.
And when I came back out, the bag of cans was gone. So I drove towards the bottle drop, and sure enough, I saw a woman heading that way and lugging my bag of cans on the sidewalk.
I pulled over, and she clearly recognized my truck. I accused her of stealing the cans from my truck. She denied it. Until I said I was going to call p#l!ce. And the restaurant I was at likely caught her theft with their CCTV. So she could either admit she stole from me and return the cans, or I would call the cops.
She got angry, and told me money was tight right now. And it was just a bag of cans. I told her that she didn't get to steal from me and play the victim. So it was either return the bag, or I would call the cops. She tried to say the cops wouldn't give a damn about a bag of cans. So I told her we should find out.
I was about to start dialing, when she dropped the bag, then told me to go eff myself. She walked away ranting and saying I have no sympathy. I told my friends about this later. And one of their girlfriends absolutely went off on me. She went on a rant about how I didn't know what kind of situation that woman might have been in.
And she could have been homeless for all I knew. So I should have just let her have the damn cans. We had a big argument, and she left furious. I was pretty sure I was in the right before. But not anymore. AITA for forcing that woman to return the bag of cans she stole from me?
Edit: For the record, the bag had over $30 worth of cans in it. It was a really big bag.
Edit 2: It was a huge transparent bag made for covering a mattress. So a lot of cans.
The internet had a lot of thoughts about the situation.
Gorditapollo wrote:
NTA maybe money is tight for you too and you’re relying on the dollars from those cans, maybe money is just fine for you because you’re frugal and do things like returning cans.
It really doesn’t matter, she had no right to take them and you had every right to get them back. In my neighbourhood, some people put boxes of cans out on the verge for our local needy to take, but that’s not what you were doing.
OP responded:
Money had been tight for me in the past, because I was homeless myself for a while because I lost my old job during the pandemic. I was living out of a camper on the back of my truck. I do currently have a house, and a couple of guys are renting rooms from me. But I also do my best to keep saving on the side, just in case I lose my job again or something.
PotluckyPodcast wrote:
I'm disabled and collecting cans for the redemption is money that helps me live. They aren't trash. F#$k that lady for stealing from you and trying to make you feel bad. She knew what she was doing was wrong and thought she'd get away with it before you noticed. NTA.
ASereneDeath wrote:
NTA something similar happened to me when I was a young mom, we'd gathered up all of our bottles and cans into our backyard to take in the next day when the depot was open and someone came into our fenced yard overnight and stole them all.
It was probably about $100 and it was going to be used for formula and groceries. Things that aren't yours aren't yours and a thief doesn't get to decide what's valuable to you vs. them when they get caught.
MaggieMae83 wrote:
I bet if the woman had been honestly ashamed and remorseful because this was some impulse due to a severe situation in life that caused her to feel she had to steal, you would have helped her out. She didn’t do that, she denied it, she tried to justify it, she played the victim and acted entitled.
Letting her have them and backing off would have reinforced the idea that she can just take what isn’t hers because she deems her needs give her rights to others belongings. Your friend’s attitude is actually enabling bad and wrong behavior. I love charity, I don’t love rewarding awful behaviour. NTA.
redbullfan100 wrote:
Ok so stealing from other people is okay if you’re broke? Like I don’t get how she’d justify that. If she had of stolen food or necessities from a big name store I would of said she did nothing wrong, but stealing from the back of someone’s truck without any shame is awful. She’d probably have stolen the entire truck if she was able.
FutureBowler9817 wrote:
"She went on a rant about how I didn't know what kind of situation that woman might have been in." That's right, you don't know. Neither does your friend's girlfriend. You can have all the hypothetical arguments you want; the REALITY is she stole from you. NTA.
Dessicated_Mastodon wrote:
Situation or not, sympathy or not, someone's character is shown best when they have to make tough choices. She could've waited and asked, she chose to steal. You aren't TA and your girlfriends friend is a dips#$t.
Only_Music_2640 wrote:
My mom paid for our prom dresses by selling cans at the recycling center. We weren’t poor poor and never went hungry but there was never enough money for extras like that. I can’t imagine how she would have felt if someone stole them out of her car. I have a lot of empathy for people who are struggling financially but that doesn’t give them the right to steal.