'AITA for freaking out at my friends after they implied my husband was a creep?' UPDATED

"AITAH for freaking out at my friends after they implied my husband was a predator?"

I 27f and my husband 29m have been together 10 years and married for 6. He’s the love of my life. When we got together he moved in with me and my family because I lived with my parents at the time in a very expensive city. I have 3 younger siblings, 16f 14m and 12f.

For all their 14th birthdays I’ve always said I would take them on a trip. We took my sister on a trip for her 14th birthday and now at the end of this month we are taking my little brother. My husband and my brother get along better than anyone. Neither of them have a brother, my husband has a sister and my brother is the only boy out of 6 of us.

So they gravitate towards each other and it’s incredibly sweet to see. It’s like they were meant to be brothers. Last night, I was hanging out with a few of my friends and I was talking about how we were planning on taking my brother on a trip and I joked about how I would be third wheeling the entire time bc they get along so well.

A few of my friends laughed but one of them gave me a weird look. She said that that sounded really weird and inappropriate if my husband is giving my younger brother more attention than me. I said no it wasn’t like that at all, they just get along well and it was a joke.

Said friend then said it was inappropriate that my almost 30 husband is so close with my brother who is a minor and said she wouldn’t be surprised if it was like a grooming situation and I am blind to it. I freaked the f- out not gonna lie.

I yelled at her how dare she imply anything like that about my husband who she has met and gets along with, and she’s the p*rvert if she thinks my husband, who was the only boy, bonding with my younger brother, who is the only boy, is inappropriate.

I left then and went home and since then the groupchat has been blowing up with people taking sides, either agreeing that it is kinda weird and others saying she was way out of line and needs to get over herself. I haven’t told my husband because I don’t want him to feel weird but im starting to feel bad about how i handled it and thinking I overreacted and should have just left. AITAH?

Not long after posting, OP shared a small clarifying update.

Update: I did tell him because I wanted him to 1) know why I was so pissed off all day and 2) hear it from me in case it becomes a bigger thing. he was obviously hurt, I told him he did nothing wrong and that it was her who was nasty.

I ended up sending a text in the groupchat and blocking everyone who “made a case” in defense of her. I refuse to allow some stupid cunt ruin a beautiful friendship between soul brothers.

The comments kept rolling in.

Difficult-Mobile902 wrote:

That friend is out of her mind. That’s probably one of the most disrespectful, insulting, and quite frankly, disgusting things you can possibly say about someone. She thinks that low of you, and your husband, to openly voice that stupid s--t?

Yeah I’d never speak to them ever again, in fact I’d probably actually consider these fighting words, in all seriousness. If you had swiftly punched her in the face I would have applauded.

OP responded:

Honestly I am not a v**lent person but I wanted to beat her ass. To make such baseless vile remarks about my husband? The father of my children? Quite literally the sweetest man I’ve ever met? Put that hair up I’m gonna pull it.

Agreeable-Inside-632 wrote:

Why is it weird? I don’t understand? It sounds really nice and lovely. I bet your brother brags at school about it. Someone has chosen to love him even though he’s not family and is taking him on a trip!?! They are brothers in law. Why wouldn’t they bond?

Accusing men like this really does everyone a disservice not to mention how damaging that could be to his life and career. Unless you get a massive apology I’d avoid your small minded and weird friends. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

OP responded:

It’s incredibly lovely. It has been amazing watching the man i love bond with the little boy I helped raise. My brother and I are incredibly close which is a detail I forgot to mention. It has been an incredibly rewarding experience to watch their relationship blossom.

Solo_entity wrote:

She called your husband a p***phile based on him bonding with his brother in law. That’s a punchable offense. Whoever agrees with her needs to be reevaluated for their sheepish stupidity. All of a sudden multiple people are looking at him funny because she insinuated something that’s the equivalent of accusing someone of SA. NTA.

OP responded:

His BIL who he’s known since he was FOUR YEARS OLD.

kweenkiller wrote:

Tell your 'friend' that she needs to stop sexualizing a child. She needs to stop projecting her trauma or second hand trauma onto anyone implying that your husband is a p-rvert.

You NEVER make accusations like that unless presented with proof or evidence, you can't take accusations like that back and it can literally ruin lives. If I were you, I'd cut off her and anyone who agrees with her.

Solarwisspp wrote:

NTA.

You stood up for your husband and your family, and you’re justified in being pissed off about such an inappropriate accusation.

SparklingWhisperGLV wrote:

NTA. Your reaction is completely understandable, and it’s very inappropriate for your friend to suggest something as serious and harmful as grooming without any evidence or reason to believe that.

The bond between your husband and brother sounds completely innocent and natural — they both just happen to connect well as the only boys in their respective families. To imply something sinister about that is out of line and completely disrespectful.

You were right to stand up for your husband and protect that bond. It’s also understandable that you’d be upset with the friends who supported that friend, because they should have been backing you up. You definitely didn’t overreact — it’s good you addressed it and made it clear that it wasn’t acceptable.

Better-Day-7079 wrote:

Lol WTF, absolutely NTA. I would've lost my mind if I was in your position. That's like someone telling me that my boyfriend getting along so well and bonding with my nephew is creepy. No bish, YOU'RE creepy for taking a brotherly/friendly bond and immediately assuming it's s-xual. Barf.