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'AITA for giving away my dad and sister's tickets to my graduation? They said they'd be late.' UPDATED

'AITA for giving away my dad and sister's tickets to my graduation? They said they'd be late.' UPDATED


There are some life milestones you really want your loved ones to witness, so it can really hurt when they don't prioritize them.

"AITA for giving away my dad and my sister's tickets to my graduation ceremony and telling them to not bother showing up."

I (18F) have my high school graduation ceremony this Wednesday. It was sent to my parents in an email that I will be giving a speech that day as my grades made me valedictorian of my school's class of 2024, and I was excited to do so. My school made us reserve and buy tickets to the ceremony weeks in advance, and I picked mine up on the 26th.

The problem started at dinner when I told my family I picked up the tickets for my graduation day and would keep them with me until the day of just to make sure they don't get lost. My dad told me that he and my sister had plans for an hour before the ceremony, but that my mom would be there the whole time, and that they'd try to be there for the afterparty.

I was honestly shocked for a moment, before starting to laugh, assuming they weren't serious. When I realized they actually weren't joking, I'll admit I was a bit mad. I'm usually a very shy and non-confrontational person, even around my family, but I started yelling at my dad and sister, asking if they were seriously ditching my graduation ceremony.

I told them that the afterparty was useless to attend, and that all the pictures of the graduates with their families would be taken at least 2 hours before the ceremony. They said it's fine and we can take our own pictures the day after my graduation, but I got up and left dinner.

Over the weekend, I saw a few people on my class group chat complain that they didn't get enough tickets, so I offered up the two tickets I had, and met up with a girl from my class to give them to her, and even though I told her not to, she actually paid me the original price for them.

When the topic of graduation was brought up by my dad today during lunch, I told him that I gave the other two tickets away and only my mom will be attending, so they shouldn't bother with the afterparty. He got mad and asked why I would do that, to which I replied that I don't see the point in wasting money on tickets if they're not going to use them.

My dad blew up on me, saying I'm acting like a spoiled brat, and it's not like I'll die if he and my sister are a bit late to my graduation. I spoke to a few people about it, my friends and my grandma. My friends said good riddance and if they consider their plans more important, they can have fun.

But my grandma said that while she understands my side, I shouldn't have given away the tickets just to spite my dad, because maybe he would have changed his mind and gone on time. So I'm looking for a non-biased opinion. AITA?

Shortly after posting, OP left a short update/clarification.

Edit for info: the plans my dad and sister have is some sleepover with her and her friend group in the north, around a 2 hour drive from where we live. The parents didn’t want to leave a bunch of under 16 year old girls alone that far, so everyone’s parents are also going for supervision (apart from my mom who is going to be at my graduation).

The internet had lots of comments and questions about the situation.

Trick_Parsley_3077 wrote:

Thank god your Mom supports you…not only graduation πŸ‘©‍πŸŽ“ but also being the Valedictorian of your class!!! Great job!!!!!πŸ‘πŸΌ πŸ‘πŸΌπŸ‘πŸ»

I am saddened that your father and sister are not celebrating your great accomplishments with you! Just baffles me I don’t even know you, but I’m excited for you. You did the right thing! NTA but your dad and sister are TA. They have/had 364 days to do their sleepover. Like WTF. Btw congrats on your accomplishments!

OP responded:

Thank youuu! Yes, my mom had kind of been my rock throughout high school I'm really grateful for her :)

ashleighbuck wrote:

"because maybe he would have changed his mind and gone on time."

No. They have made it clear they are not prioritizing your achievements, by any means. I am sorry they don't seem to care. NTA. Congratulations on graduating, and being valedictorian. You've a lot to be proud of. ❀

OP responded:

Thank you xx

It sucks that half my family won't be there but we move <3

Deep_Advertising_171 wrote:

NTA. You're learning young that people are who they are, and you should treat them accordingly. You're the valedictorian and they actually said they had plans before your graduation, leading you to believe they didn't think it was important enough for them to attend.

And then you gave the tickets away. And THEY are upset? They are so wrong. Just wrong. Congratulations on your achievement. I hope you do just as well in college. And I hope they have learned their lesson and will be present for the next graduation ceremony.

OP responded:

Thank youuu! And yeah I didn't see the point in keeping the tickets XD

RobbesWatch wrote:

INFO: What did your father and your sister have to do that was more important than watching you graduate (and also give your valedictory speech)?

OP responded:

My dad told me that he and my sister booked a hotel towards the north of our country with a few of their friends because they wanted to have some huge sleepover idk the full details though.

Weary-Gift7735 wrote:

First of all congratulations πŸŽ‰πŸŽ‰ on passing and being Validictorian. Also of your dad and sister planned a sleepover trip to the north how would they be able to get back in time for your after party?? They would never make it in time. So NTA but your father and sister are I take it graduation was a known date? So they actively planned this trip knowing when the graduation would be.

OP responded:

Yep the graduation date was announced around February. And yeah I told them the logistics of driving back and forth makes no sense XD

Yo-KaiWatchFan2102 wrote:

OP your dad and your sister have made it clear, your achievements and your graduation is not a priority to them, their little “vacation“ is.

NTA, congratulations on being made validvictorian, way to go.

OP responded:

Thank you :)

It does suck that they couldn't have waited a bit to make their plans but at least my mom will be there xx

Misteraustria27 wrote:

So your sister has always been your dad favorite I assume. NTA. And I am looking for your dad’s post. “My daughter wont speak to me anymore. What did I do wrong. How can I fix this.”

OP responded:

XDDD and yes, she's always been his favorite since we were kids tbh.

Three days later, OP shared an update.

Hey everyone! First of all, I want to thank you for the interaction my original post got, which I ended up showing to my mom; we had a laugh together at some of the comments about my dad, and she wanted me to tell you she appreciated the kind words about her as well.

My graduation was today, so here is an update to my original post a couple of days ago. Although it was just my mom and I, the day went really well. We took probably a hundred photos together, both with the school photographer and on my mom’s camera. The girl I gave the tickets to, as well as her family, even took photos with my mom and I.

I gave my speech in front of the families of maybe 100+ students (my school has 3 different programs so lots of people), and was even surprised with certificates of excellence in psychology and IT when the time came for me to get my diploma. As for my dad and sister, my sister has been spamming her social media with videos of the sleepover with her friends, to which I’m honestly unbothered.

My friends and I ended up ditching the afterparty anyways, and went for dinner in the city with our parents instead. Overall, while I’m disappointed my entire family wasn’t there, I’m more than happy with it just being my mom and I, and I honestly feel like I had more fun with her alone than I would have had if the rest of my family showed up.

The internet had OP's back all the way.

Free_Start9677 wrote:

Congratulations! I'm glad you had a good time and I hope you dad is still in the dog house! Did you or your mom show him the thread?

OP responded:

Thank you! My mom and I were having a laugh and she suggested sending him a link to my original post a few hours ago, so I told her to go for it. We’ll see his reaction soon 🀭

RidicLucas0227 wrote:

I'm glad you were able to have a great day! And congrats to you! Your mom is awesome! Your dad however, I just honestly can't figure out what his problem is? How is a sleepover ever more important than a graduation? I wonder if he even cares about the damage he's caused to your relationship, or if he will ever try to make this up to you? Regardless, congrats again on your big day!

Glittering_Rip_1368 wrote:

NAH, your sister knew and done it on purpose. In all honesty if it happened to me I'd just invite my mom and when dad would ask I'd just say "you always have plans with your favorite so I didn't bother to get two more invitations." Glad you had fun time with your mom and congratsπŸ’πŸŽŠπŸŽ‰

Ankh93 wrote:

What your dad will realize and regret his actions on that day is that he wasn't there for you in one of the most important milestones of your life. “We CaN jUsT tAkE pIcTuReS tHe DaY aFtEr” no he cant and he’ll never live it down because it shows he prioritized a stupid sleepover that can happen many times in her life but you only graduate as a valedictorian with full honors once.

He wasn’t there to see what a great over achieving and hard working woman he helped raise (i’m giving more credit to your awesome mom). I was in a similar boat, my dad never once showed up to my middle school and high school graduations but he did show up for my siblings.

What that shows is that I wasn't worth missing out on work for even 2 hours, he even cried when he couldn’t go to my brother’s (the one directly after me) graduation. If he truly was affected by your decision he would've waited outside the graduation site and congratulated you and would taken you to a special place to treat you but clearly he only cares about his little princess .

Sources: Reddit
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