'AITA for going off on my sister after she kept returning my car with an empty tank?'

"AITA for going off on my sister after she kept returning my car with an empty tank?"

I (28F) have been letting my older sister, Emma (32F), borrow my car for a while now because hers broke down a few months ago. She couldn’t afford to fix it, and since I work from home and don’t use my car every day, I told her she could use it when she needed. I thought I was being nice, you know? Like, helping out family the way you’re supposed to. At first, it was fine.

But then I started noticing a problem every single time she brought the car back, it was almost completely out of gas. Like, I’d give it to her with half a tank, and she’d return it running on fumes. The first couple of times, I didn’t say anything because I figured maybe she just forgot. After that, I was like, “Hey, can you make sure to put some gas in the car next time? It’s kind of annoying to always find it empty.”

She was like, “Yeah, sure,” but then... nothing changed. Last week, it really hit a breaking point. She borrowed the car for a few days in a row, and when she brought it back, the fuel light was literally blinking. I had to drive to the gas station praying I wouldn’t get stranded.

So, I called her and said, “Emma, this isn’t okay. You need to refill the gas you use when you borrow the car.” And you know what she said? She actually said, “Why should I? It’s not my car.” I lost it. I told her that was a selfish thing to say and that if she couldn’t respect the fact that I’m doing her a HUGE favor by letting her use my car, then she couldn’t borrow it anymore.

I mean, gas isn’t free, and it’s not fair for me to always have to deal with the empty tank. She got super defensive and started saying I was being petty and selfish, and that “family is supposed to help each other out.” Then she hit me with, “I don’t ask for much, and this is how you treat me?”

Like, excuse me?? I’m literally letting her use my car for free, and she can’t even put a few bucks of gas in it? Now she’s mad and hasn’t spoken to me since. My mom’s on her side, saying I should’ve just let it go because “Emma’s struggling right now.” But my dad said I was right to cut her off if she was being disrespectful and entitled.

Honestly, I feel bad that she’s upset, but at the same time, I don’t think I did anything wrong. If the roles were reversed, I’d never treat someone’s car like that. But now I’m wondering did I overreact by telling her she can’t use it anymore?

The comments quickly came rolling in.

Candid_Process1831 wrote:

NTA! You let here borrow your car the least she could do is to fill it up sometimes she is the AH!

OP responded:

I see it the same way. I don't mind her borrowing my car, but the least she could do is to put some gas in every other time she uses it.

Jeksnow wrote:

NTA. You already extended help by letting her borrow your car. The least she could have done was to say sorry and possibly explain why she doesn’t/can’t refill it up for you but instead, what you got was a snarky answer. Mom should also refill the gas for her since her daughter is struggling.

OP responded:

She didn't even apologize, she just said it's not her car why should she fill it up. Her stupid answer brought me to my breaking point.

HoneyLemon011 wrote:

You should just start charging her for gas. Call it the Sisterly Fuel Tax. At this rate, you'll be able to afford a second car with all the money she'll owe you.

Pelagic_One wrote:

NTA. You asked her a few times and she came back with the most childish response in the universe. Let her hire a car and see if the petrol was worth complaining about.

OP responded:

I'm just fed up always letting here borrow my car without filling it up it also cost me a lot of money. The disrespect she shows towards me is unbelievable.

mtngrl60 wrote:

Of course you are NTA. Your sister doesn’t get to borrow your car anymore. Is that simple.

As for your mother. Tell her from one mom to another, she needs to step up and do the f-k better.

It is not your job as a sibling to bail your sister out only to have her shit all over you. Manners dictate that when you borrow someone’s car, you don’t return it empty because they are doing a favor for you. So since your mom is so concerned that your sister is struggling, she can lend her her vehicle and put gas in it all the time.

Because at this rate, you’re gonna be struggling too. Also, don’t hesitate to point out to your mother how hypocritical it is for her to throw up the old. Family helps family. Hypocritical BS when the only one helping family is you. It’s not coming out of your mom’s pocket even though she’s the one that gave birth to your sister and should be the one helping her.

Fun-Mountain4641 wrote:

Wow, that is impressively entitled. She is in her 30s, has owned her own car and still has 0 care for the costs of her regularly borrowing your car - she should be returning w/ full tanks and also kicking some your way for maintenance et al as a regular borrower. She seems to think you should do for family and she should only take from family. Nip that in the bud!

Elly_Fant628 wrote:

NTA and tell your mum since Emma is struggling so much your mum should be helping her with a car. And that you're now struggling so you'd appreciate your mum paying you for Emma's overdue petrol bill.

(You could also claim for depreciation and deterioration on your car and pro rata for your car insurance. It sounds like Emma was using your car more than you were so it's only fair she or your mum pay the insurance!)

Face it...you're not going to see any money from Emma. Maybe try calmly telling your mother that your solution to helping poor struggling Emma out is to agree to waive any of the above mentioned costs, as long as it's understood the car is now not available. Add those costs up and let everyone know the total. Why is the solution to your sister's struggles that you should be struggling too?