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'AITA for hanging up the phone on my GF after I said clearly 'I don't want to talk about deceased cats?'

'AITA for hanging up the phone on my GF after I said clearly 'I don't want to talk about deceased cats?'

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"AITAH for hanging up the phone on my GF after I said clearly 'I don't want to talk about d--d cats?'"

So I just hung up on her after she said "well that's your opinion."

We were having a casual conversation and she proceeds to bring up a girlfriend of hers and she says "her cat passed last night."

I did a FULL STOP on the conversation and said "No I don't want to hear about it."

And she proceeds to say "well I don't know how a cat gets stuck in an HVAC system."

OH GREAT, so what this cat was cooked to de--th? This has ALWAYS been a hot button subject, I love cats more than people (sorry) but most people probably feel the same with it comes to empathy and animals. There's been several instances where a dead or dying cat has come up and I've CLEARLY stated I don't want to talk about it, change the subject.

Two big problems for me here, was the boundary I set and she ignored and second when I tried to downgrade the hostility abit by replying what just happened and WHY I'm upset, I feel like I'm being gas lit.

"I said I don't want to talk about it, you ignored that and proceeded to tell me anyway, you shouldn't have."

All she had to say was "well that's your opinion", I said dude just admit you're wrong, Again was hit with "well that's your opinion"

So long story short she says "I want to be able to talk to you about anything, and If I can't I'll find someone I can talk to."

I said "OK GREAT, go find them then" and hung up the phone.

She's called 4 times, but answering the phone upset isn't going to help at the moment so I haven't answered.

The internet had a lot to say in response.

No-Investment-2121 wrote:

NTA. It’s one thing for her to say, “my friend’s cat passed recently so I called her today and sent a card” and another to describe gruesome animal deaths in upsetting ways for no reason.

I think knowing an animal passed is not the issue as much as her seeming to relish rubbing animal suffering in your face? Maybe she likes shocking you? As an animal lover myself this would be disturbing to me too. I’m sorry, OP. You could not have been more clear.

LoveBeach8 wrote:

NTA.

The subject of deceasead cats is irrelevant. The fact that she totally ignores your requests on subjects that you don't want to talk about is the crux of the situation.

Jodenaje wrote:

NTA. “It’s your opinion” that she kept going into detail after you asked her to stop?

Um, no. That’s a fact. It’s not a circumstance whether there’s an opinion or not. Either she did or she didn’t.

The question is…why does she apparently get enjoyment out of making you uncomfortable with graphic descriptions of animal death?

And is that a one-off or a broader pattern of behavior?

Man_onion_ wrote:

NTA. For this is come up several times, she's doing this on purpose. For what purpose, I don't know. But plain and simple, she's continuing to bring up something that upsets you deliberately because she knows it upsets you. How many cats are even dying around this woman for her to have enough new material to bring this up with you several times?

I_Putthefuninfuneral wrote:

NTA! She sounds awful. I totally understand how you feel as I too prefer animals over humans, especially cats. My two tuxedo cats are my world and my hubby loves and adores them too. She's your girlfriend so I assume she knows how much you love cats.

That alone makes it extremely fked up that she brought up this subject knowing it would be a trigger for you. What's even more f--ked up is that she completely ignored the boundary you set, ignored your feelings over it, then threatened your relationship by saying she would find someone else if she can't talk to you about anything.

That's so disrespectful, cold, and uncaring. You deserve so much better, OP. These are not traits you want in someone who is supposed to be your partner. Your partner should love you and respect you, which includes any boundaries you set and this topic is clearly a hard boundary for you, and that's 100% understandable and acceptable.

Any loving partner would respect that and never cross it. It sounds like she's done this to you multiple times and that she somehow turns it around on you like you did something wrong. You did NOTHING wrong. Don't let her gaslight/manipulate you into believing that you did something wrong. This is on her.

I hope that if she does this and ESPECIALLY if she disrespects and hurts you in other ways, that you realize your worth and break things off. There are so many beautiful souls in this world with love, empathy, who are kind and caring towards others. Those are the qualities/traits we should all look for in a relationship and the kind of person you deserve. Bonus points if they're also a cat person! 😀

My husband never really had pets growing up but within just a few days of getting our first cat when he was 7 ½ weeks old he was already a cat person lol. He's a great Cat Dad to our baby boy and girl Tuxies. I wish you all the best, OP. I'm so very sorry this girl is so cruel and disrespectful to you. I hope you find your perfect person ❤️❤️

cheekmo_52 wrote:

ESH. I find it difficult to imagine this is an actual thing that happened. But in the off chance it did. OP failed to recognize that GF felt bad about someone’s pet passing and wanted a sympathetic ear…which OP failed to give while simultaneously making GF’s friend’s loss somehow about OP.

GF ignored OP’s entirely irrational boundary. and then claimed the fact that she did was an opinion.

You’re both pretty deserving of the other’s foolishness.

Sources: Reddit
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