'AITA for using my husband's affair with my cousin against them?'

"AITA for using my husband's affair with my cousin against them?"

My grandparents are giving each of their grandkids enough to buy a house when we graduate from college. We have to get through college on our own. My older brother made it through with some debt so he paid that off and still had enough for a 50% down payment and money in the bank for emergencies.

I was lucky enough to qualify for a scholarship as well as a bursary through my father's employer. When I graduated I bought a small house close to public transportation so I could take the train to work.

A few years later I met and married my husband. He met my cousin Yvonne at my wedding. She is beautiful. I know I'm not ugly but she is gorgeous. They started an affair about three months after the wedding. I found out because they are both stupid. I was hurt. But more than that I was furious. I wanted to kick him out immediately and divorce him.

Instead I waited almost six more months. A month before she graduated from university I went to my grandparents and broke down. I told them that I just found out about the cheating and that I was shattered. That my own family would do that to me. I stayed with them for a couple of weeks.

My husband tried to get to me but I didn't talk to him. My grandmother helped me get a lawyer for the divorce during this time. My cousin has basically been shunned by the family now. My house was a premarital asset and was covered in our prenup. I gave my ex one month to move out.

My grandparents are old school about marriage and family. They are beyond pissed. They said that they couldn't fix what she did but they could make their displeasure clear. They gave me her money.

She had taken out student loans since she knew she could pay them back. She also chose a degree that was not exactly in the STEM areas so she will not be making a great salary coming out of school.

My ex is begging me to let him stay because he loves me. I said that he would not sleep with other women if he loved me. I know he doesn't. He just did the math and found out how fucked he is.

My aunt and uncle are pissed off at me for screwing their baby out of so much money. I want to be clear here. It was never my intention to take her money. I just wanted our grandparents to not give it to her. Me getting it was just frosting on the cake.

Right now the family is divided but mostly on my side. They do not want to openly disagree with my grandparents. Everything is over and done with. The divorce will take a little more time but my money is in my retirement account. My ex is out of my house. And my cousin can go fuck herself.

I feel guilty about not confronting them immediately and for bringing my grandparents into it. My ex asked me how I knew. I told the dumba@$ his texts were all showing up on our tablet before he deleted them. I had screenshots of everything.

So I guess I'm asking if I went too far and whether that makes me the only asshole in this situation.

Here's what people had to say to OP:

neanderbeast says:

NTA - she knew she was doing wrong and she should have known there might be consequences. She ain't a kid anymore, she is responsible for her own actions.

DaniMW says:

They knew exactly what they were doing. If the cousin didn’t account for the potential consequences, it’s on her! Not just the money thing, but the rest of it. She KNEW that her family would judge her. It’s her cousin’s husband for heaven’s sake!

jesus_nutsack says:

YTA - but only for the 6 month wait and the timing of the reveal. Everything else was the choices of others - NTA for any of that.

BlazingSunflowerland says:

People who are incredibly good looking often get away with things so they begin to take it for granted that the rules don't apply to them. The grandparents applied consequences and she can spend her life living with those consequences.

Remarkable-Low-643 says:

This is beautiful. I love a good revenge story. They are screwed. Your uncle and aunt can go f___ themselves.

fitzclanof4 says:

👏👏👏👏 you played the long game, well done!

CamilaRibeiras says:

NTA. Send them this post too, lol. /updateme