'AITA if I refused to pay for a commission that was made for me? There was miscommunication.'

"AITA I refused to pay for a commission that was made for me?"

It happened when I was having a few drinks with a family friend, Robert. Robert had a commission of his family coat of arms painted on to a mirror. It had been done by a family mutual friend, Kay. She had apparently made it for him for free but was planning to start a business of it.

Robert started talking to me about if I would want a similar "work of art" done. Eventually I described is one was made of Leopard, Baiser and Alice standing by a stream, the giant guns, flower monster and cat behind them. Their alter egos reflected in the stream.

Next time I was visiting Robert, no drink in me this time, I saw his painted mirror again that he was so proud of. pretty amateur work. Thought no more of it. Then a couple of weeks later Kay and Robert are knocking on the door. Kay has the mirror painted for me, she told me, "That will be £400."

I told her "No thanks"

She argued that it was done now, she had taken time and materials to make it.

I repeated that I did not want it.

She started going on about how I should not have commissioned it if I did not want to buy it. I explained that she had said nothing to me about before making it. She should have arranged with me, not just gone off a second hand description from Robert.

We could have agreed on a price, far lower than the £400 she was wanting now, maybe even taken a deposit before starting. She tried to argue but I finished by saying that £400 was over priced for a painted mirror, and while it is probably better than I can do (I'm not good at art) a standard grade art student could probably do a better job.

She got pretty angry about this as did Robert but I refused to buy. Because they are family friends they were complaining to my parents about it. My parents agree that I do not need to buy it but it does cause a bit of turbulence in their friendships with Kay and Robert. AITA?

The internet had a lot to say about OP's quandary.

syric13 wrote:

ESH. You never commissioned the painting, never agreed to a price, never did anything of the sorts. You shouldn't pay it, you don't deserve any flak for not paying it, and frankly its BS that Robert and Kay even did this without talking to you. But you wrote "A standard grade art student could do a better job" and that alone makes you partially an AH in this scenario.

I don't know if you said that to her, or just something you wrote here, but that kind of attitude is just gross. And the fact that, if she did ask you, you would have haggled for something far less than 400 is also an AH move. Haggling is fine. Trying to get custom art work for pennies on the dollar is something else entirely.

In the future, if you don't like someone's art, just say you don't like their style and respectfully decline. Don't say "someone else could do far better" or "it isn't worth the price."

OP responded:

No haggling took place. There was no, "That'll be £400" "I'll give you £10." LOL just watched Friends, "The One With The Ring" this morning. I would say if she had spoken to me beforehand, haggling would be acceptable. She can decline a low offer as much as I can decline a high price, and if we cannot meet in somewhere the middle then the commission should be cancelled and never made.

Abel_skybalade wrote:

F all these idiots saying YTA for saying her art was bad. As someone close to a lot of art geeks there are so many insufferable artists that give my friends a bad name. I have commissioned many of my friends and had people approach me asking if I wanted to commission them. The no. 1 rule about art is that both its beauty and value is subjective, no one can force you to like something you don't.

And you only said their art was s#$t after she constantly pushed for payment for a commission you did not ask for. If she will give up in her art career just for that level of criticism from a layman then she will not last a second in any rigorous enough art class or exposition.

Wild_ticket1413 wrote:

NTA. You didn't commission anything from Kay. You never spoke to her directly about this. You had a casual chat over drinks with Robert, who then made a massive assumption and asked Kay to make something for you. She failed to contact you and verify that it was indeed what you wanted. It would be different if you asked her to make it and then refused it, but you didn't.

Robert acted on his own, with consulting you. He (and to some extent, Kay) are responsible for this situation, not you. If anything, Robert should buy the mirror. Or Kay can try to sell. (If I'm understanding the description, the artwork was based on literature or film, not something personal to you. If so, someone else may want it.)

o0oKato0o wrote:

I paint murals for people and it's extremely amateurish to never at least SPEAK to the actual client. I generally do a computer generated mock up using a photo editor before I start painting and the client can tweak things as necessary until we get it exactly how they want it. Then, depending on the scope of work, we agree on a price.

It seems like OP didn't get to choose anything. The size of the mirror, the colors, placement of the various items, etc. Kay just decided what he should like and how much it should cost randomly. That's not a commissioned piece. That's practically the same thing as seeing something in the store.

Loki_the_corgi wrote:

NTA. I do commissioned work on the side.

First, you ALWAYS communicate directly with the buyer.

Second, ALWAYS take a deposit. She did neither of those things and (most importantly) you didn't order it directly from her. She's an idiot, and it's her own stupid fault. She can use this as a good learning experience since she's starting her own business.

Salty_Shadows wrote:

NTA. I make and sell crocheted items, including commissions and you didn’t commission this…you fantasized about a cool piece, if she had gifted it to you that would have been fine, but no way in hell are you on the hook for £40 or £400 without discussing it.

Edit: changed it to £ instead of $ but don’t f#$king assume someone is American just because they use $. I am Canadian and will never be part of the United States.