'AITA for telling everyone that I was serving 'chicken pot pie' when it wasn’t a plain one?'

"AITA for telling everyone that I was serving 'a chicken pot pie' for dinner when it wasn’t a plain and basic one?"

So I had a few people over and one of the easiest meals for me to make is a pot pie. To me a pot pie is just whatever you want inside of a crust.

Chicken pot pie is usually leftover veggies with a thick gravy and crust. This time around I had fresh roasted hatch chilies and some corn and chicken, onions and kale. So that’s what I put inside, and I used my savory pie crust that has some cheddar and black pepper.

When I served it however I guess it really pissed off my brother-in-law Frank who immediately started complaining asking “what the f is this” and “how is this a pot pie.” I told him it’s a pot pie and explained what I said above.

He tried to argue that “a chicken pot pie shouldn’t have anything other than chicken, gravy, peas, carrots, and maybe potatoes.” I said okay well sorry, I don’t really see food in black and white. No one said they had any allergies or issues with food so I didn’t think it would be an issue.

He kept on scowling and pushed around the food and eventually left early. AITA? In my family we really never kept recipes as hyper specific. We cook and eat what we have. I guess I figured most families were the same and that it’s just people on the internet who make a big deal out of recipes.

The internet had plenty to say in response.

CoverCharacter8179 wrote:

The issue here is nothing to do with the definition of "chicken pot pie." The issue is that you invited someone to your home, prepared and served him a meal, and he said "What the f is this?" This is unacceptably rude guest behavior, making him the big-time AH and you NTA.

JeepersCreepers74 wrote:

NTA. While I can see why Frank may have expected a certain kind of pot pie and was perhaps disappointed to not get it, it doesn't excuse his rude, ungrateful behavior towards someone who cooked for him.

Everyone knows that the proper, non-AHoley thing to do in this situation is to move the food around your plate, make an excuse about having a late lunch, and then stop at a drive-thru on the way home. FWIW, I make non-traditional stuff, too, but I do try to warn any unsuspecting guests about it. Like in this instance, I would have said it was a hatch chile or southwestern pot pie.

Practical-Rule-8255 wrote:

NTA.

but who puts Kale in a pot pie?

Thisismyworkday wrote:

ESH - Frank is definitely an AH for the way he reacted. No doubt about that and I don't think anyone here is confused about that. But you pulled a bait and switch. You can say all you want that "pot pie is a whatever you want in a crust", but that's like saying "shepherd's pie is any pie a shepherd makes."

Words are defined by their usage, they don't mean things just because we want them to. "Chicken pot pie" is the name of a specific dish. When you tell people that you're making chicken pot pie, they are expecting something that is recognizable as that dish.

What you've described does not qualify. The fact that it shares 1-2 ingredients doesn't change that any more than it changes a mutton and potatoes pie into a shepherds pie.

StAlvis wrote:

INFO: "This time around I had fresh roasted hatch chilies and some corn and chicken, onions and kale. So that’s what I put inside."

No gravy?

OP responded:

Yes gravy.

BandicootFlat5838 wrote:

ESH but more Frank than you by far. He acted completely inappropriately. That said, while I don’t think there are “rules” for chicken pot pie I do think there are some assumed basics - it would have been polite to say “I’m making my version of chicken pot pie! This time it’s got hatch chiles, corn, kale, etc etc.”

As someone who has a lot of food “quirks” I can find it extremely jarring (to the point of slight emotional upset) to be thinking of a certain food and looking forward to it and then being given something vastly different with no warning. Like going to a restaurant for a specific favorite meal and it being out of stock that day. It makes me understand Frank’s distress, but holy cow did he handle it incredibly poorly!

TerriblePabz wrote:

So while I do see where Frank's frustration is coming from (you said you were making one thing that turned out to be something else that you called the same thing). He had absolutely no right to speak to you like that or treat you that way. You made a grown man dinner, in your home, served it to him while it was still hot, and did not ask for anything in return.

The ONLY thing coming out of his mouth should have been "this isn't what I expected, I was really looking forward to a traditional chicken pot pie but thank you for the meal, I am sure it is delicious."

If he didn't like it after trying it he could have simply said "I don't think this kind of pot pie is for me, but thank you again for the meal!". I say this as a man who has had his fair share of "disappointing" meals served to me by friends and family.

Not everyone is a great cook, likes to cook, or enjoys making "traditional" versions of food. If someone is kind enough to make me a fresh hot meal though, I am going to say thank you, eat as much as I can, and be grateful that someone thought of me when feeding people. His behavior is beyond rude and I truly hope you never serve him so much as an apple slice until he genuinely apologizes.

Even then I don't think I would cook for him again until he is willing to try making his own version of a meal I want and let's me critique it in the same way. I am probably a bit more petty than most though 😂

EDIT: I don't know how I forgot to put this but...FIRMLY NTA