'AITA if l invite every one of my husband's friends except one girl to our wedding reception?' UPDATED

"AITA if l invite everyone from my husband's friend group except one girl to our wedding reception?"

I (25F) have been married to my husband (27M) for a year now, but we’re finally having the reception in December this year. My husband has a friend group since high school. They went to school together. Besides us, it consists of 5 couples and 3 single ppl. The girl (27F) I mentioned is the only single girl in the group.

Let’s call her Tiffany. Tiffany dated one of the guys (27M) for 5 years before breaking up with him after she cheated on him. He quickly moved on and started dating a younger coworker (24F). They have been dating for 2 years now. She was very bitter over the breakup and caused a stir in the friend group even though it was all her fault.

I am considering not inviting her due to an incident that happened last year during Christmas. That year, we all got gifts for each other. We hosted the Christmas event at our house and everyone came on time except her.

Not only was she late, she also didn’t greet my husband and I, but she greeted everyone else. She also got everyone gifts except for my husband and I citing that she only got gifts for the “real couples.”

I brushed it off the first time, but she said it again twice. She left early and everyone including us were confused as to why she acted like that. Most of the friend group sided with us, but a girl and a guy were defending her, claiming her social awkwardness and inability to read social cues were why she acted the way she did.

I felt like her words and actions were so deliberate like there’s no way she forgot to get us gifts or greet us. She knew better. It felt rude and on purpose. Even though half of the group dislike her, the other half are still fond of her and close to her. They hang out with her regularly. We still hang out with them too, but without that girl in attendance. Tiffany also reacted poorly to news of my pregnancy.

She asked if it was on accident, if we truly loved each other, etc. It was the strangest reaction I had to my pregnancy. For some context, I dated my husband for 2 years before our engagement and marriage. We have a baby. We also have known each other for nearly 10 years and were close friends for most of that time before we started dating.

I was not part of this friend group until we started dating even though I also went to school with them. My husband also isn't close to her and never had been. They have never gotten along. She’s really sweet to the other women in the friend group except me. We’re the only married couple with a baby in the group. Everyone else is dating seriously. No engagements yet.

I’m making this post because I’m reading that it’s rude to exclude one person out of a whole friend group to a wedding. Just wondering if I’m in the wrong for this. My husband is supportive and we both don't want to invite her.

TL;DR: Rude girl did us dirty in the past so we don’t want to invite her to wedding.

The internet did not hold back.

Question_1234567 wrote:

Let's be perfectly clear. She f-king sucks. You don't talk to someone like that unless you mean it. "Social Awkwardness"? Come on, that's just an excuse to get away with sh-ty behavior. She's being an AH and you don't need to put up with that. If it was just a general sense of discomfort around her I would say you were the asshole, but this clearly is a targeted thing.

She is jealous that you and your husband are going through life committed to one another. You are doing all the things she wishes she could do but because of her cheating, is unable to.

If you don't want her at your wedding that's your right. You aren't the asshole for wanting people that you actually like at your wedding. Plus who knows, she might do something bats-t crazy and ruin the whole thing.

NTA.

ReviewOK929 wrote:

"She only got gifts for the “real couples.”....She asked if it was on accident, if we truly loved each other, etc."

NTA - No you don't need to invite the one person in the group who questioned the integrity of your relationship. It might be rude to leave them out but it's much ruder to do what she did.

Eastern_Condition863 wrote:

NTA, but if you do invite her, expect her to show up, not greet you and not get you a gift. You and your husband aren't friends with her, she's rude, questions the integrity of your relationship, and causes drama when she doesn't get her way. Nope, nope and nope.

She wasn't happy for your pregnancy and she won't be happy of your nuptials. Joy-sucks don't get invites to fancy, expensive events. I would not want to pay for her to eat and drink on your dime. If your friends can't understand, then they can sit out with her.

Having-hope3594 wrote:

NTA. From what I read, she doesn’t like you and your husband. She doesn’t deserve to get to come and celebrate your marriage. I would not invite her just because there’s a risk she could say something else that could put a damper on your event.

MrsNobodySpecial67 wrote:

NTA. Your wedding your choice. It seems the others are aware of the on going issues and shouldn't be surprised. If you aren't comfortable inviting her then you shouldn't.

From reading this I think Tiffany wants your man.

Not long after getting feedback, OP shared an update.

I can’t make the post any longer. I know a lot of people are saying they might have hooked up or something. Tiffany is still very much in love with her ex. Since the break up, she has only dated guys who look almost exactly the same as her ex even if they aren’t compatible.

My husband looks nothing like her ex. My husband also gave her a hard time following the break up because he was very close to the ex bf. As for the real couple thing, we had a baby prior to marriage so she felt like we only got married bc of the baby.

The comments kept coming.

houseonpost wrote:

NTA: "we both don't want to invite her" This is all you needed to say.

You are over thinking this. I'd stop hanging out with her. By the time the reception happens she will be a distant memory. And if someone asks you why she wasn't invited, they are the AH and are just stirring up trouble.

DetectiveDippyDuck wrote:

When she made those comments did no one ask wtf she meant? It sounds like everyone just...sat there.

She was initially your husband's friend and it's kind of odd that he hasn't spoken with her about this.

firefannie wrote:

Also, "she isn't our friend and she doesn't like us" is a fantastic reason to not invite someone to a wedding.