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'AITA for inviting a clown to my wedding and putting him in the pictures?'

'AITA for inviting a clown to my wedding and putting him in the pictures?'


"AITA for inviting a clown to my wedding and putting him in the pictures?"

I (29F) married my hubby (31M) a few months ago. Neither of us were particularly interested in spending a boatload of money on a wedding no one would actually enjoy, so we were casual. The wedding was in the party room of a pizza place we love (it's in a recently-renovated 19th-century factory, so it's cool-looking) and decided to let our friends and family bring their army of small children b/c pizza. To entertain the kids, we decided to have a few carnival-themed games and snacks available and we hired a clown (M23) to do balloon animals.

I know this clown, he is a friend of my cousin's who has good clown credentials. He was great with the kids. We had the bright idea to invite the clown to be in some of our wedding photos, as well. Anyhow, I noticed MIL (F60s) had been kind of distant since the wedding but I didn't realize that she was pissed at us until she came to dinner last night.

We got the wedding photos and picked our favorite, which is the two of us looking at each other dramatically with the clown standing next to us holding a big fake squeaky hammer like he was about to bonk my husband's head. We got it framed and put it up in the house.

When my MIL saw the photo, she lost it. She blamed me for embarrassing her and continuing to rub it in her face with the clown photos, and that I should've put my foot down and made sure her son had a classy wedding and not the "clown show you put on." My husband told his mom to leave but I'm honestly kind of shaken.

The feedback from other family/friends has been positive and I've had a good relationship with my MIL thus far, so this was a surprise. I know a lot of people say that the wedding is for the family, not the couple, which isn't something I took seriously until now, and I'm wondering if I should've considered my MIL's feelings more when putting together the party. So am I the ahole for my clown show wedding?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

coastalkid92 said:

NTA. A wedding is ultimately a celebration and how you choose to celebrate is really up to the couple. If you want a carnival for a wedding, then go nuts. Now that being said...clowns are a divisive form of entertainment. They can make a lot of people uncomfortable and their style of entertainment can be invasive.

I think you and hubby just need to let the situation cool down a bit and then have a conversation about how this was what you (collectively) wanted for your day. She's entitled to have not liked it, but it was special and fun for you two.

Meghanshadow said:

NTA. Sounds like you had a fun wedding where people enjoyed themselves. And YOU and your Husband liked it. Those two things make for a great wedding. MIL is an AH.

ProfessorYaffle1 said:

NTA - it was your wedding, as long s you and your spouse were happy then all is good. Regarding your MIL, I'm confused as to why she would be embarassed. If you had photos of her with the clown and she was uncomfortable with that, then it would be a kindness to not have those photos on display.

Do you have more traditional photos that show you and your husband without the clown, and photos of the of you with MIL / other family without the clown? If so, then it might be nice to get some of those printed ofr her and sent to her so she can share them on her social media, if relevant, but unless the clown is in evey picture then even taking into account the idea that the wedding is for the families as well as the couple her reaction seems a bit odd.

StarvingArtist0723 said:

NTA at ALL! The pure beauty of this story brought tears to my eyes! You had a great wedding that reflects you and your husband's personality and everyone had a good time. It seems like your MIL is taking it a little too personally. It was a joint decision and a wonderful one.

It's not like you held your husband hostage and made him invite a clown, so perhaps he should talk to his mother and defend you. I do have to ask... what are the clown's clown credentials? Does he have a clown egg? And if so has he gone to clown college?

Kris_Third_Account said:

NTA. The wedding is a celebration of the relationship between you and your husband. Sounds like you were on the same page about how it should be celebrated, so no problem there. You didn't do anything harmful or exceedingly offensive. You did something non-traditional, but as long as you're on the same page, there's no problem with that.

Backgrounding-Cat said:

NTA sounds like your wedding was for the couple and for the guests. Nobody besides MIL has a problem with this awesome sounding event.

JerryAtrics_ said:

NTA. Your wedding, so you should do what you want to do and celebrate how you want to celebrate. Though "clown show" was a pretty funny comment for your MIL to make.

cbm984 said:

NTA - I might understand why MIL might be upset if the clown was in every single one of your pictures so MIL didn't get any pictures without a clown in it. Or if there were people there who were terrified of clowns and therefore couldn't enjoy themselves. But it doesn't sound like that was the case. It sounds like she's upset you didn't have the wedding SHE wanted (i.e. a "classy" wedding). But that's too bad because it wasn't her wedding!

This might be a case of "keeping up with the Joneses". Like maybe your MIL is watching all her friends show off pictures of their kids' "classy" weddings and is embarrassed that you didn't do something similar she can show off. Again... too bad. You guys deserved to have the wedding you wanted, whether that's a church wedding, an outdoor wedding, a destination wedding, or a pizza party wedding with a clown.

Her suggesting that you had the wedding you did solely to embarrass her and that you put that picture up just to rub it in is delusional. I'm glad your husband put his foot down because if this is how she acts when she doesn't get her way, you're going to need a husband who isn't afraid to put a hard stop on her BS.

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this family wedding drama?

Sources: Reddit
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