She literally put in my notes that I was rude and combative.
Anyway, I had an appointment with my hysterectomy surgeon today and as I was in the triage area getting my vitals done the nurse was asking me the normal questions but then asked why I wanted to do something so drastic for period pains.
I said because it's not just period pains its debilitating pain that's only getting worse, so much so that just walking my 5-year-old to school gives me pain so bad I nearly cry every morning and afternoon after I sit back down and bleeding so bad I have to schedule my kids lives around it and I'm tired of it.
She asked me what I would do if me and my husband divorced and my partner wanted a kid. I just said "well I have three they can pick one." And she corrected me and said one of their own. I just shrugged and said it sucked to be them then.
She then asked why I didn't try birth control pills to slow the bleeding down and when I said it's just a band-aid to the problem she said I should just try an endometrial ablation first before a hysterectomy and I'm like "but ablation makes it so i cant have kids either so what's the difference?"
"Just get rid of the problem instead of doing another band-aid thing where my tissue can eventually grow back anyway since I am only 32 and probably have like 15 to 20 years of this bulls--t still."
She rolled her eyes at me and escorted me to the little room and I waited for the dr but when I got home I looked at my notes like I always do and the nurse notes said that I was rude and "combative." AITAH for what I said? She was seriously trying to talk me out of a procedure my dr and I have been talking about for a year now.
Aggravating_Meat4785 wrote:
She was out of line. The whole time. Her little scenario is her using her values to push them onto a patient. It’s unethical and you should file a complaint. And get that removed from your record. Complain to the office and then get all your records and complaints to the nursing board. It’s absolutely wrong and I’ve had shit like this and didn’t report and I regret it because I know they will continue to do it!
frozenbroccolis wrote:
NTA. She overstepped and stressed you out right before surgery — a highly stressful procedure. You are at peace with your decision and this conversation was highly inappropriate. She’s the AH.
JFCMFRR wrote:
You should report her. She has no business asking you any of these questions, particularly given they seem loaded with judgement.
Edit to add: she probably put you were 'rude and combative' to get ahead of you possibly complaining about her. Even more reason.
I_Wanna_be_anemone wrote:
NTA report her for making inappropriate unqualified medical judgements about your condition. Imagine if she managed to shame a patient out of the surgery that could literally give them their life back?
Effective-You_8456 wrote:
NTA. I think the only way she wouldn't have marked you as "rude and combative" is if you'd been like "Oh of course, mrs nurse lady, you're so right, I'm making a huge mistake; please cancel the procedure!!!!" She clearly disapproved of you getting this procedure, and the fact that you had well-reasoned rebuttals to her (way out of line) questions clearly got up her nose.
She was super out of line. There's requirements before they'll let a woman get a voluntary hysterectomy, and some of those are usually that a) she's explored all orher feasible options, and b) she's already had some kids. Now I personally think those restrictions are stupid and think they shouldn't be a thing --- but either way, you met both criteria.
And presumably, if you were in the hospital gown about to get the procedure, you met all the other requirements as well. All she had the right to ask were the standard pre-surgery questions and to get your consent for the procedure. She was super out of line to go any further than that. And you weren't even rude??? You were just straightforward and sure of your decision. SHE was the combative one.
True_Dot5878 wrote:
NTA. Please report her because that stuff on your chart about being combative can be used against you. Ask for them to correct notes and describe the situation. That nurse had no business questioning you like that. She’s not your doctor. She’s only there to check your vitals. That was the end of her job.
rachiem7355 wrote:
You are definitely NTA. I am a nurse and I am appalled at what she did. Obviously if you were there for a pre-op appointment this was something you discussed with your doctor and he decided that the hysterectomy was the way to go. I could see maybe him might ask you those questions when you first went to see him just to see where you are at but for her to do that was totally uncalled for.
The fact that she called you combative I think I would talk to the doctor about having that redacted from the notes. Combative means to physically hit. I know because I worked on a dementia unit and I had combative patients that was the only way you could State they were combative was if they were trying to physically fight you.
I would try to get the rude part taken out too mainly because it's going to be part of your permanent record and if somebody reads it down the line they may prejudge you as a combative rude patient.
If anybody was rude it was her not just with the questions and the pushing of the issue but the rolling of the eyes. I don't know what her agenda was but she definitely had an agenda. NTA.