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'AITA for never asking my wealthy in-laws to invite my siblings or immediate family on our big vacations?'

'AITA for never asking my wealthy in-laws to invite my siblings or immediate family on our big vacations?'


"AITA for never asking my wealthy in-laws to invite my siblings or immediate family on our big vacations?"

My wife and I have been married for about 8 years now. I had a pretty generic middle class upbringing while her family would be considered "Old money." I have no idea how much wealth they actually have but its multi-generational and needless to say they'll never worry about money.

They never give us cash outright, but for each of our kids' births they set aside 100k in an interest bearing account for their college and they have been extremely generous with the vacations they've taken us on. My wife and I both have pretty good jobs and while we have the security of knowing if we ever needed it, they'd help us, we are able to support our not very fancy lifestyle ourselves.

This July were going on a trip with our kids and her family, including the nuclear families of her two siblings and then a few family friends of theirs. MIL and FIL are paying for everything including the flights, villa were staying at, and various meals and activities. This will be the 5th vacation like this they've taken us on.

Not including our honeymoon they paid for. I never imagined being this close to that kind of wealth before but I have to say they've been nothing but welcoming and generous with me. Even offering me high paying jobs I probably dont deserve and offering to pay for my grad school if I choose to go.

My sister recently asked me what my summer plans were and if I had any trips. I told her about this one and she got noticeably annoyed/jealous. She asked me why I've never asked about inviting her and her family since other friends of the family get invited often to these big trips. Some have had 10-20 non family members there that they hosted/paid for.

TBH I never even thought about asking to include my relatives in that, but I feel like that'd come off a little greedy so I just don't. I told her that, and she thinks Im being selfish. I think a lot of it is just jealousy which I can understand because she's complained about never being to Europe and its splurging for her to just go on a regional vacation. I do feel like that is kinda totally unrelated to my situation though.

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

AntTrailA said:

You are married to their daughter. You are family. Your sister is not family. NTA.

BeeYehWoo said:

Tell your sister to be brave and make her demand to your in-laws for an all-expense paid vacation. Then watch how she shuts up. Your sister wants you to do her dirty work for her at the risk of losing your privileged position with your in laws and insulting them + your wife. She seems a bit immature to not realize yet that life isnt fair and she cant get whatever she wants. NTA.

Elivercury said:

NTA this request is so unbelievably cringe and would potentially ruin your reputation with your in-laws (and wife!) if you went through with it. I'm sure throughout your marriage/relationship she's had opportunities to build a relationship with them had she really wanted to and the fact the hasn't is why she isn't invited to fancy holidays.

Apart-Ad-6518 said:

NTA. "But I feel like that'd come off a little greedy so I just don't. You're right. Your sister's way overstepping. If she wants your in laws to invite & pay for her she can ask them direct.

Level-Tangerine-8172 said:

NTA. It would be incredibly inappropriate to ask this. You are married to their daughter, you have married into the family, your siblings/family are just kind of extended family by association. It is also not comparable to family friends being invited, as those are obviously close friends of the nuclear family. If your wife's family ever offers for your family to go it would be incredibly generous and kind of them, but it definitely should not be expected.

WaryScientist said:

NTA - your in-laws invited your wife’s family, not yours. Let’s be honest, you and the kids are invited because you are family to their daughter…unless THEY invite your extended family, it’d be horrifically rude to ask them to pay for them.

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for this family?

Sources: Reddit
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