'AITA for not being cool with my wife's tattoo idea? She asked for my honest opinion.'
"AITA for not being cool with my wife's underb--b tattoo idea?"
My wife (32F) and I (34M) have been married for 5 years, pretty solid relationship, lots of love, the whole shebang. She's always been into tattoos, has this sick half-sleeve that really suits her, and I'm all for it. Not a tattoo hater by any stretch.
But now, she's talking about getting an underb00b tattoo. And, I dunno, I just find the idea...not attractive at all. Like, I've seen them on other people and thought, "Cool for you," but on her? It just doesn't click for me.
I told her how I felt, tried to be as gentle as possible, saying I love her style and her current tattoos but this one's just not my jam. She got pretty upset, saying it's her body and her choice, which, fair enough, it totally is. But she also wants my support, which puts me in a weird spot.
AITA for not being on board with this? Should I just suck it up because it's her body, or is it okay to have an opinion on something that changes how I see her aesthetically?
Looking for some outside perspective here.
The internet had plenty to say in response.
busty_dreams04 wrote:
NAH. It sounds like you’re both navigating a tricky but common situation where personal preferences and bodily autonomy collide. It’s perfectly okay for you to have an opinion and express it, especially in a respectful way, which it sounds like you did. It’s also completely valid for her to want to control her own body and make decisions that make her happy.
Maybe this is an opportunity for a deeper conversation about support and boundaries. It’s not about the tattoo really, it’s about understanding and respecting each other's feelings and finding a way to support each other even when you disagree.
TheFlashestAsh wrote:
Why not get it stencilled on and then sit with it for a bit. See how you both like it. Aside from getting used to it, it’s not your call. Fine to have an opinion though and to let it be known. I’m sure if you’d not said a word until after it was done and then you told her you’re not a fan, that would’ve been worse.
spoonfork42 wrote:
NAH It would be different if you told her she couldn’t get it, but it seems like you just told her how you’d feel if she did get one. She’s free to do what she wants with her body and you’re free to have a different opinion than her. And you never know, you might change you mind when you see the tattoo on her.
New-Pea-3271 wrote:
NAH. You have no obligation to like a tattoo your wife gets, but you also have no power to actually stop her from getting it.
It’s her body, and she’s no more an AH for wanting it as you are for not liking it.
m3gauley wrote:
I’m torn between N-A-H and N-T-A, but I’m gonna go NAH. OP, you aren’t an AHfor not finding an underb00b tattoo attractive. If you aren’t into it, you aren’t into it. That’s fine. (Though, admittedly I’m with you OP. I don’t get the appeal of them at all. Personally, it sounds like the worst place to get a tattoo.)
OP’s wife isn’t an AH for wanting an underb00b tattoo. It’s her body, if she wants one, fine. (I, again, don’t get it.) Guilting/being upset with OP for it not being his jam makes her some level of AH, but I don’t think it makes her enough of one to label her an AH here.
Garfeelzokay wrote:
My boyfriend hates my tattoos but I get them anyways. He genuinely loves me and doesn't let it affect his attraction to me. You can dislike her tattoo or idea of the tattoo all you want. In the end it's her body and it's not up to you to decide what she puts on her skin.
Just because you don't like to doesn't mean she shouldn't do it. She has to do what she likes too. In the end, as long as she likes it, that's all that will ever matter.
warclonex wrote:
NTA. Both arguments can be had and cant fault either side so its really just a sux2bu right now situation. End of the day you may just have to suck it up.
Its the same as...if a guy has always had a beard and the wife is SUPER attracted to the beard....end of the day it would be the guys choice to shave it all off one day depite the wife hating it. It's fine to have an opinion, and your wife kinda sucks for asking for an opinion then getting upset when given an answer they don't like. Just need to have that discussion/compromise.
CartoonistOne8486 wrote:
She wants the tattoo and your support. She can’t have both… and that’s okay. It’s a decision she has to make. You’ve been gentle in communicating your feelings (which are valid) and aren’t being controlling. Go you! If you pretended to support her and say you like the idea “go get it” sorta thing you’d be dishonest, and dishonesty ain’t cool.
NamKojii wrote:
Well, I do think that YTA- at least a little bit. My issue is: Why do you care that much? And how come that underb00b tattoos on other women are okay, but not on your wife? You are the one who should support her, and in all honesty: Tattoos are an individual choice. Her body is her choice. She thinks about getting a permanent choice, and you are talking her down because it does not suit your style.
"AITA for not being on board with this? Should I just suck it up because it's her body, or is it okay to have an opinion on something that changes how I see her aesthetically?"
Also, it is just bugging me the wrong way that you think that an underboob tattoo could change your views on her. I don't know, man...it's just an underb00b tattoo. It isn't even a big back Yukaza tattoo or so. Usually, underb00b tattoos are very delicate...