'AITA for not buying my cousin something to eat when we went to the beach?'
"AITA for not buying my cousin something to eat when we went to the beach?"
I (F25) took my cousin (F6) and my kids (M4 & F6) to the beach this past weekend. I offered to take my cousin because she's around the same age as my kids and they get along great, so I thought it would be fun. While we were there, we went out to eat. My cousin is extremely picky and anytime I buy her food while we're out or cook anything, she takes a few bites and throws the rest away.
I told her I was not buying her any food and that her and I could share something and she could have as much of it as she'd like. Well she didn't like that because I got my kids their own meals (which they ate all of). We ended up sharing anyways and she like I thought, she took a few bites and then said she was full.Thwe rest of the day was fine.
Well flash foward to after I drop her back home. I get a text from my aunt asking why I didn't buy her, her own meal and that my cousin is telling her we shared while my kids didn't. I explained the situation to her and she told me I could've packed her food up to go if she didn't eat it.
But I don't see the issue seeing as she did exactly what I thought she would do and she also had other food throughout the day that we packed such as snacks and sandwhiches. So AITA?
EDIT: I did let my cousin choose something we both liked.
Commenters had a lot to say in response.
StAlvis wrote:
NTA.
"she took a few bites and then said she was full."
The child's needs were met while under your watch. End of story.
"I get a text frommty aunt asking why I didn't buy her, her own meal."
Because enabling wastefulness is wrong.
Neither-Candy-545 wrote:
YTA not because of your actions, but because of the way you talked to her. She is only 6 and felt left out. She didn't understand you were eating with her, she understood she wasn't allowed to eat like her cousins.
Kami_Sang wrote:
NTA - I'm not wasting my money and buying you food I know will be wasted or go home just so you get your own meal. If her mom wants that, she can send the money for it.
thequiet01 wrote:
YTA for how you handled it. You made her feel singled out and “less than” instead of just letting them all get a meal and then finishing her “leftovers” yourself.
Glass_Ear_8049 wrote:
YTA. You don’t buy 2 kids food and not another one.
ModernZombies wrote:
YTA she’s a kid, just get the 10 dollar kids meal for her. If it’s a money thing then ask her parents for money in advance for food. Who cares if she eats it, pack it up and send her home with it. Whether she eats it or doesn’t eat it, everything costs the same. Or like others have said “eat her leftovers” as your meal instead.
SnowcatTisch wrote:
Unfortunately a 6 year old doesn't understand the reasoning behind it. All they see is they are being different and singled out from everyone else.
Next time order meals for all three kids and whatever she doesn't finish is your lunch since you were sharing your lunch with her.
wickedpirateer wrote:
NTA. Cousin is full and fed, and she chose her meal, she just had to share it. The easiest thing to do would have been to reframe what you did - sharing a meal - into something that she wouldn't have been able to complain about - she got to pick her own meal and you ate her leftovers. Same course of action, different outcome.
KLG999 wrote:
YTA. You singled her out from your children for different treatment. Just from your description it comes off as a kind of punishment because she doesn’t eat the way you think she should. Most of the people agreeing with you also have the tone that she is somehow misbehaving and deserves whatever treatment you decide to give her.
JohnRedCornMassage wrote:
NTA. You should edit your post to add that you let your cousin choose the shared meal (chicken tenders and fries). If you hadn’t let her choose, you would have been the A, but you’re good. I personally can’t stand it when anyone consistently orders too much food and ends up throwing tons away, especially when I’m paying.
positmatt wrote:
NTA - while it would have been nice for her to have been "included" the post implies that in the past you have been more than willing to buy her meals, but she either chooses not to eat and/or throws them away.
If the mother knows that she is a picky eater, than the best recourse is for them to pack a prepared meal for the trip. This is how my family has done these type of excursions if they knew there was going to be food that I could not(or would not) eat.
TheMightyKoosh wrote:
I think you phrased it wrong. You should say you didn't get yourself a meal and you just ate her leftovers.
CraigJDuffy wrote:
NTA - as long as you ensured she was able to eat enough to be not hungry it’s fine.
OP responded:
She had plenty of other snacks throughout the day and we all got ice cream before we left to go home.