'AITA for not giving my brother a share of my inheritance for his property taxes?'

"AITA for not giving my brother a share of my inheritance for his property taxes?"

When my mom passed, she left everything to my older brother, Jason. Jason never moved out of my mom’s home. He never had anything more than part-time minimum-wage jobs. My mom forgot about me or my sister and preferred Jason. It also meant she had minimal contact with her grandchildren when she favored him.

My father, who lost that home in a divorce, said it wasn’t fair that Jason inherited everything from my mom. My father suddenly passed away, and Jason was kept out of his will because my dad was still sour about what my mom did. Jason was shocked when he was left out of my dad’s will.

He said the property tax on my mom’s house was late because he was planning to use the money from Dad's inheritance, which was a dirty trick Dad pulled on him. My sister Debbie already told Jason to get a freaking job, and maybe he will have the 7k by the time it’s due. I’m also not giving Jason s-t. It’s how my dad wanted it.

Jason was freaking out during the reading because he didn’t get anything, and he’s already going through most of my mom’s money and hasn’t worked in 5 years since her death.

He called us all AHs and said he needed the money more than us.

I’m sure this was the same line he used on my mom to get Debbie and me written out of my mom’s will. Jason acts like he will fight the will, but my dad talked about how Jason got 100% of my mom’s inheritance; he doesn’t get anything. On top of my dad’s insurance, Debbie and I are going to sell my dad’s home, and hopefully, the market stays hot.

I suggest to my brother that he do the same thing and take the money and downsize to a smaller apartment or home. My brother is ranting to anyone who will listen, calling us selfish AHs, and even setting up a GoFundMe for his taxes. Several family members have donated.

My grandma (on my mom’s side) has reached out to me to help him with the taxes, and I said no. My grandma said she is no longer going to leave Debbie and me anything now because of how we treated our brother, but I reminded my grandma that our mom (her daughter) started this, and no one threw a fit about it when mom died.

Debbie had two small children then and could have used the money. I didn’t see Debbie start a GoFundMe, and I don’t remember you (grandma) calling Jason and asking him to give up part of his share for us. My grandma said it was a different situation, and I told her, “Not really.”

The commenters had a lot to say in response.

DJ_Too_Supreme_AITA wrote:

NTA.

Did Jason give you any of the inheritance left by y’all mom? No? Then Jason shouldn’t be acting entitled.

He wasn’t willing to give you or Debbie anything then why should y’all help him out? Jason is a grown man, he can get the money himself by doing what every adult and teenager (16 and up) do: get a job

ArtShapiro wrote:

NTA.

I don't think this needs great elaboration. You were treated unfairly and he seems to be a lazy jerk who deserves what's coming to him. You are totally reasonable in saying "No!".

KBD_in_PDX wrote:

NTA Jason got a leg up 5 years ago, but instead of using it, he sat on his ass the whole time. He's an adult and has nothing to show for where that money went - it didn't even go to paying the taxes on the home he was gifted...

His bad decisions don't warrant an emergency on yours or Debbie's part. He STILL has options, he can sell his house, he can get a job, he can...do what people everywhere do all the time. He's not hopeless, he's lazy.

ironchef8000 wrote:

Wow. That’s a lot of simmering resentment and passive-aggressive bequeathing. You are NTA. You and your sister seem to have become unwitting pawns in this unfortunate game, which is not a comfortable place to be.

Jason, on the other hand, needs to grow up and take responsibility for his life.

"He said the property tax on my mom’s house was late because he was planning to use the money from Dad’s inheritance…"

That is the single most telling statement in the post. He’s banking on someone unexpectedly dying so that he can pay an ongoing, predictable financial obligation. That’s wildly unrealistic and short-sighted. Don’t count your chickens, ya know?

NTA.

Manager-Limp wrote:

NTA. Rules for thee, but not for me. It's hypocritical for your Grandma and brother to complain when your dad just gave the Universe a hand in restoring balance. Tough luck.

thepatriot74 wrote:

Grandmama can give her money to her destitute grandson right now instead of harassing you. That threat of cutting you out of her will is pretty empty, because she can always change her mind and cut you off later. NTA. Why is this even a question ? But grandmama showed her true colors, as well as the other flying monkeys.

goosygirlie wrote:

NTA. It sounds like Jason has been living comfortably under the assumption that money would always be available without having to lift a finger. It's a tough situation, but you're simply respecting your dad's wishes, which, after all, were made in response to the preferential treatment Jason received from your mom.

Everyone facing their own responsibilities is part of adult life. Maybe this situation, as uncomfortable as it is, could be the push Jason needs to become more self-reliant.

holywater66 wrote:

NTA, This is a pretty black and white situation, dude has to get a job, he can't rely on his relatives dying to be able to keep his f-king house, it's horrid.

The whole ''leaving the entire state to one of the kids'' and then ''keeping said kid out since he got everything when mom died'' is really sad and I wish you didn't have to deal with such toxic family dynamics. But your brother and mother are the ones that made it this way. I would have sold the house and split the money with my brothers but that's just me.

He seems to be freeloading your mom even after d--th, and then pretended to do the same with your dad, like I said, horrid. Your grandma seems to be on the same side your mom was, babying a grown ass man. It's his house, he got the entirety of it, if he wants you to pay for the taxes, ask for a third of the house and a third for Debbie, that would actually be fair.

forgeris wrote:

Did he share his inheritance? No. Do you have to share yours with him? No.

Tell him that he you treat him exactly like he did treat you - with complete ignorance. NTA.