'AITA for not helping my sister who became homeless just after she gave birth to my ex-husband's baby?'
"AITA for not helping my sister who became homeless just after she gave birth to her and my soon to be ex-husband's baby?"
My sister (24f) and I (26f) were really close our whole lives and we moved away from our parents together when she was 18 and I was 20. I met my (soon to be) ex-husband here and we got married and my sister stayed close. We spent a lot of time together. Then a few months ago I learned my sister was pregnant and my husband was the father.
I ended my marriage to him immediately and I told my sister I wanted nothing more to do with her and she was on her own. I had some of her stuff at my place and left it at my ex's place for her. For the rest of the pregnancy they were living together and then he wouldn't let her back in after the baby was born.
She called our parents from the hospital and told them she had nowhere to go. That he was looking for custody and didn't want her back and I wasn't answering her calls. So they called me and after I heard them explain what was going on I told them it wasn't my problem. They tried to argue but I wasn't having any of it.
She got a place at a shelter for single parents and she's still there several weeks on. With the custody dispute she can't move back to our parents and I am still refusing to help her out. My parents are angry because I won't even take her calls or reply to any messages she's sent. I actually blocked her because I knew she wouldn't stop. My parents don't know that part.
But they're telling me I should be ashamed of myself for turning my back on her and the baby. I told my parents I owe her and the baby nothing. I told them it was just a shame she didn't choke on his dick when they were sleeping together behind my back. My parents called me disgusting for leaving them homeless. That I have room and could help. AITA?
The internet had a lot of thoughts about the situation.
IamanNPCsowhat wrote:
NTA. Good job standing your ground and having boundaries. Your sister will figure her s--t out eventually, but that's not your concern. Your parents are on thin ice for trying to force you to help that backstabber.
OP responded:
So far my parents act like I'm supposed to care more about what she's going through than what she put me through. And that won't be happening.
herejusttoargue909 wrote:
NTA. Blood doesn’t equal responsibility. Anyone saying “it’s not the babies fault” is ridiculous. The responsibility lies on the PARENTS not the aunt, uncle, grandparents, strangers etc. The dad is a bum. The mom is a bum.
Grandparents should be sending her money to get into a hotel...also, since she’s homeless she NEEDS TO GO HOME to her parents. Custody battle or not she’s gonna lose the kid because she doesn’t have a stable home for the kid. Why suffer in a shelter until then. Consequences of one’s actions.
Upbeat_Vanilla_7285 wrote:
So your parents were ok aywith her screwing around with your husband and getting pregnant? Nah..keep them all blocked. Not your circus!
01happynewyorker wrote:
Okay, your sister can't stay with your parents. Why can't your parents pay for an apartment or have family help out? Why does it have to be you? NTA! That's one crazy bleeping sister. NTA! Your parents don't want to deal with the situation and yet they want you to take on the responsibility to help?
AngelicaK92 wrote:
Your SISTER slept with your husband. It sounds like she intentionally got pregnant, too. Moved into YOUR house with YOUR husband. Was she trying to take over your life, and when it went tits she ran to you expecting you to forgive, forget, and PROVIDE for her and her baby? Cut contact with ALL of them. You will never have any peace if they can contact you. NTA.
corgihuntress wrote:
Your parents could step up. Your ex could step up. Not your monkeys, not your circus. To suggest that you should have any part of this is ludicrous. There are a lot of AHs in this situation, but your aren't one. NTA.
Forestdusk wrote:
NTA. She not only slept with your husband but also had his baby, knowing it would hurt you. That's a choice she made. Its understandable that u want nothing to do with her. It's not your responsibility to fix the mess she created.
She should've thought about the consequences before she decided to betray you like that. The fact that your parents are trying to guilt trip you is messed up too. They should be supporting you, not her.
Huge-Shelter-3401 wrote:
"I told them it was just a shame she didn't choke on his d--k when they were sleeping together behind my back." Finally someone who told them off right! Definitely NTA. Just curious why your parents don't give her money to get an apartment? If they are so upset about the situation, they should be able to finance her problem.
Weird_Environment_14 wrote:
I’m sick of all of the “it’s not the baby’s fault” comments. Like no, it’s not. It’s also not the fault of the millions of children starving in the United States and even more across the entire world.
Regardless, no one is responsible for anyone else and I am actually more likely to help a random foster child than my sister and exes baby. Seems like they should’ve thought about that while have relations without protection. They knew how babies are made and there’s plan a, b, c. Like dear lord.