'AITA for not letting someone I barely know stay at my place even though they’re homeless now?'
"AITA for not letting someone I barely know stay at my place even though they’re homeless now?"
I met someone about two weeks ago while organizing a social event online. We connected over our shared social awkwardness and exchanged numbers. When we met for lunch, they opened up about their life, mentioning they hadn’t been paid in six weeks. I felt bad and offered to pay for their lunch.
A few days later, they casually mentioned they had actually been fired, which explained the lack of pay. I felt sorry for them but assumed they had some savings since they were still attending social events and seemed relatively okay.
They also mentioned that their parents live close by, so I figured they had a support system. Over the next few days, they shared struggles with their mental health and family (parents, brother), which I could relate to. I listened but didn’t offer much advice since I didn’t feel qualified to help.
A week ago, they asked if they could stay at my place in an emergency. I told them no, explaining my home is my safe space and that I’ve had issues with people violating my boundaries before. They seemed to understand and didn’t push further.
But this week, their situation has escalated.They said they were kicked out and their super changed the locks. They also had a huge fight with their parents, and their dad called the c*ps on them.
Now, they’re texting me from a park, saying they haven’t eaten in two days and have nowhere to go. I asked if they had reached out to other friends or acquaintances, but they said those people either live with roommates or their parents and can’t take them in. I suggested they call our city’s eviction helpline or look into shelters, but they said they haven’t had any luck with those options.
Now, they’re pressuring me, saying, “You’re the only person who can help me,” and making me feel extremely guilty. I feel terrible about their situation, and I wish I could do something to help, but I also feel strongly about protecting my boundaries. I’ve only known them for two weeks, and letting them stay at my place would make me uncomfortable, especially given how chaotic their life seems right now.
I have a gut feeling that some of what they’re telling me isn’t adding up. For example, they’ve given me conflicting timelines about when exactly they got evicted. On different days, they’ve said the landlord or super changed the locks, but the details don’t seem consistent. It makes me wonder if there’s more to the story that they’re not being honest about, which only adds to my discomfort.
I suggested mental health institutes and city resources, but they said those options haven’t worked. They keep saying things like, “If you don’t help, I don’t know what’s going to happen to me,” which makes me feel guilty. AITA for holding firm on my boundary and not letting them stay at my place? I feel heartless, but I also don’t think I’m equipped to deal with this situation. AITA here?
The internet had a lot of thoughts about the dynamic.
Raraavisalt434 wrote:
I have so many things I want to tell you right now. I don't believe for a single second this person is telling you the truth ABOUT anything. Please block them entirely, everywhere they have access to you. Never let them into your home under any circumstances.
Don't see them socially and if you do leave. Introverts like us can be easy marks to be taken advantage of for so many reasons. You are being manipulated, so far very clever on you. This won't be the last time someone asks you something like this either.
OP responded:
You are 100% right about the introvert thing. He did take advantage of my simple gestures of kindness, and thought he could push his way in. I just thank my brain for not being overwhelmed by emotions at the right time.
Bluebells7788 wrote:
NTA. This person has latched onto you knowing you have a sympathetic ear. You are doing the right thing protecting yourself. Listen to your instincts, you do not owe this person anything. Also stop suggestion solutions, because they are clearly not interested in them, they just see you as the next ticket.
OP responded:
True. One of the things my friend too suggested to just say “No” and not prod anymore. Providing suggestions shows “intent to help” which is also dangerous.
Tato_the_hutt wrote:
Timelines adding up isn't the only concern, but wtf did they do to have their parents call the cops on them? I strongly recommend keeping your distance, this person sounds potentially sketchy and you deserve to protect your peace. NTA.
OP responded:
You’re right. I somehow ignored this major red flag. Gave the benefit of doubt. Sometimes you just need another person to spell it out for you.
ExistenceRaisin wrote:
NTA. I think your gut feeling is right, their story doesn’t add up. It’s very convenient that they just happened to meet you right before all these terrible things happened to them, to create this emergency situation where you’re the only person who can provide them with free food and accommodation. The more you hesitate, the bigger their “emergency” becomes. I’m not buying it, and neither should you.
OP responded:
Exactly my thoughts. Somehow, I miraculously met them at the right place and at the right time. Thanks for reiterating what I have been thinking! This seems like a bs scam.
NTA
I asked if they had reached out to other friends or acquaintances, but they said those people either live with roommates or their parents and can’t take them in.\
StAlvis wrote:
“You’re the only person who can help me,”
I don't see a reason any of those friends with roommates or parents couldn't help.
Or not help. It does not matter.
It's not your problem.
"A week ago, they asked if they could stay at my place in an emergency. I told them no."
You've been nothing but clear, and this pushy-ass acquaintance isn't respecting your choice.