'AITA for not supporting my ex best friend after my brother put her in the hospital?'

"AITA for not supporting my ex best friend after my brother put her in the hospital?"

My brother was a d-ck to me my whole life. He's 2 years older and blamed me for his dad leaving (we have different dads). We were raised by mom who was very much checked out and that made me an easy target.

He wished me de-d, called me a wh-re, he got other kids to b-lly me in school and every chance he got he told me he wished I wasn't his sister. I had a best friend through all that. Sammy. Her dad and siblings were also really great and they took me in as family because they knew mine sucked.

When we were 16 Sammy betrayed me in the worst way by starting to date my brother. I told her I'd never forgive her. She tried to make it seem like I was the bad guy and how dare I tell her who she could and couldn't date. She knew what my brother was like and still went and dated him. I had to pull away from her family because I couldn't be around her but I did tell her dad.

Sammy hated me for it because her dad did everything to get her away from my brother. I got a call a couple of weeks ago and it was Sammy's dad. My brother put Sammy in the hospital and her dad wanted to give me a heads up in case my brother tried to come for me. Sammy tried reaching out but when I realized it was her calling I shut it down. She kept trying and I ignored and the blocked her.

She had her sister reach out and while we were talking she took the phone off her sister and she told me she needed me. I told her to go to hell. A few more attempts were made and then one of her siblings called while Sammy was there and they asked me how I could do that and shouldn't I understand what my brother is like and be there for the girl who was there for me until she made a mistake.

I said there was no coming back from it and I refused to believe she was manipulated. That it was an easy cop out and I owe her nothing. They tried to insult me but I ended the call and blocked that number (I've had a long list of blocked numbers the last couple of weeks). AITA?

The internet had a lot of thoughts about OP's situation.

Hungwhiteboi25 wrote:

Noooope.

See OP here’s the thing, you didn’t say “i told you so…” to her, so by definition I think you’re in the clear.

Your (former) best friend dated your vile, ab-sive, b*lly of a brother knowing full well how he was, tried to make YOU the bad guy…and then has the nerve to come back to you after everything. Naw NTA just curious though, you said her dad was fully on your side throughout this, what did he say about this whole situation?

OP responded:

Well, we didn't talk for years because of this. He felt sick that his daughter was dating someone like my brother and he apologized for what she did. He also said he would always be there if I needed something but he understood I had to pull away because I couldn't be around her.

HollieMadalyn wrote:

NTA. You’ve been through so much, and Sammy betrayed your trust in one of the worst ways. Your brother is a piece of work, and she chose him over you, knowing how toxic he was. You don’t owe her anything—she made her bed, now she can lie in it.

I get that she’s in a tough spot now, but it doesn’t erase the years of disrespect she threw your way. It’s not your responsibility to help someone who willingly hurt you, no matter what happened later. You’re protecting yourself, and that’s the most important thing here. People can’t expect you to just forget all the past pain because now she’s in trouble. Your boundaries are valid.

TheSassiestPanda wrote:

NTA - she went into that relationship with her eyes wide open knowing damn well how cruel he was to you, and now you’re supposed to pick up the pieces for her? Nope. She made her choices and has zero right to drag you back in his bs. Her circus, her monkeys.

Redd_rosee wrote:

NTA. Your feelings are valid, and the betrayal you felt when she started dating your brother—someone who had actively hurt you for years—runs deep. It’s understandable that you don’t feel like you can be there for her now, even in her time of need.

Accomplished_Mud1658 wrote:

They asked me how I could do that > the same way she did that to you.

Aand shouldn't I understand what my brother is like > yes, YOU WARNED HER. SHE SAW WHAT HE DID TO YOU.

And be there for the girl who was there for me > and I thought she was in your brother's bed... do you guys share the same bed or I'm losing something?

Until she made a mistake > mistake is calling someone's wrong name, not dating your ab-ser.

NTA - like a said, send a official letter telling your gonna file for a restraining order if she keeps doing it.

Rowana133 wrote:

NTA. She went into that relationship with her eyes wide open. She knew what he was and how he was. This is really just the consequences for choosing to date her best friends abuser. Not saying she deserved to get beat up, but it's not your responsibility to be there for her when she wasn't there for you. Hope your POS brother rots in prison though.

petalprincesshine wrote:

Sammy had years to reach out, apologize, and try to make amends for what she did. Instead, she’s only coming to you now because she’s desperate, not because she genuinely wants to fix things. It sucks that she’s in this situation, but it’s not your responsibility to fix her life. Especially when she had no problem choosing your ab-ser over you.