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'AITA for refusing to babysit and telling my family they can't use me as free childcare?'

'AITA for refusing to babysit and telling my family they can't use me as free childcare?'

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"AITA for refusing to babysit for my siblings anymore and telling my family they can't use me as free childcare and treat me like sh-t for being an unwanted pregnancy?"

I (16M) have four older siblings who are 11+ years older than me. My parents were finished at four kids, my dad got a vasectomy and then six years after it my mom found out she was expecting me.

She was 13 weeks when they found out and I was always told if she'd been earlier she would have aborted me. My siblings hated that our parents had another kid. They're all close enough but with me I feel like a stranger and it's not just the age gap.

They used to call me "mom and dad's mistake" and "mom and dad's oops" and stuff like that. They'd come home for Christmas and ignore me or make comments about me. They'd buy gifts for each other and nothing for me. My parents also treated me like a burden. When I was younger they'd call me whiny and ask why I couldn't read my own bedtime stories or why I wanted to sit with them.

If I asked for a hug they'd make it such a big deal and say they just wanted me to go away and be quiet in my room. When I had a bad day they were "too busy" to hear me out. Most times they would eat without me too. And sometimes I'd come home and some or all of my siblings would be visiting and they'd have family dinners without me.

Oh, the family dinners they had in restaurants and stuff never included me either.

And once my siblings started having kids I was the default babysitter. If we all vacationed together I was only brought along to watch kids.

Sometimes I was left in the hotel or place we were staying alone and they'd have family time. My siblings would just drop off their kids other times at home and tell me to babysit and my parents would give them the okay. I was never asked. I know people will ask if I'm not the bio kid of one of my parents but I'm both their bio kid. 100% confirmed.

It's just I came along when they were done and they resent me for it and my siblings never wanted me. I tried speaking to my parents and my siblings about how I felt but I'm brushed aside. I never tried writing a letter but it won't make a difference and I'm not pouring my heart out like that to have them not read the letter or to toss it in the trash or something.

I got so tired of it recently. I've been spending more time at my girlfriend's house and I hang out with her family more. I started to stay there whenever I feel like they might need me for babysitting and I have refused when told I needed to. On Saturday they wanted to have a family night out and brought the kids over but I wasn't home. Mom called and told me I needed to come home and babysit.

I told her to let everyone know that they can't use me as free childcare and treat me like s--t for being an unwanted pregnancy anymore. I said I didn't have any say in it and I'm not letting them do this to me anymore. Their reaction wasn't pretty but I have stood my ground which pisses them all off. AITA?

The internet had a lot of thoughts about the situation.

Rude_Vermicelli2268 wrote:

NTA. Print up a fee schedule and include “payment required in advance of services”. Let’s see how that goes.

Graphite57 wrote:

Good on you for telling them no..
Stick with it. NTA. If they rock up to drop the kids off...walk out.

RosalieWanders wrote:

NTA. Your family has treated you horribly, and they’re not entitled to your time or effort, especially when they’ve made it clear they don’t value or respect you. You’re absolutely right to stand up for yourself. Good for you for setting boundaries and finding support with your girlfriend’s family.

Acanthocephalaone285 wrote:

NTA at all. They've behaved appallingly, and as the herd mentality was in force, they don't see that they're wrong. They 100% are wrong, and you standing your ground is a good thing. Don't push so far as to lose a warm place to sleep and access to food. Once you're 18, your world opens up. Use the next few years to plan what's next (be that uni, a trade etc.)

Nmorse101 wrote:

Get a job if you don’t have one. Put most of the money aside. Is there anyone besides your parents who can help you open a bank account? If possible get your social security card (if in USA) and birth certificate and put them somewhere safe. Be prepared to be inked out at 18 and plan accordingly. If you age forced to babysit, tell them it’s $10 an hour per child.

Sidewalk_Tomato wrote:

This is complicated, and I do not envy you, but you can start by turning off your Read Receipts in your phone so they can't tell if you've read anything, turning off your location, and not replying to their calls and texts. If you get confronted: "Oh sorry, I was studying." "Oh, the buses stopped running."

Be oblivious. Find a way to wiggle out of vacations. Getting time to yourself is its own vacation. Get a part-time job if you can, open up a bank account at a bank they don't use, and have the statements emailed to you (no physical mail) but especially since you're young, do your actual transactions in person.

There's a lot of bank phishing these days. I have never regretted being weird and doing my transactions at the actual bank, for multiple reasons. Save that money and keep standing your ground.

Sources: Reddit
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