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'AITA for refusing to change my wedding date even though my SIL is pregnant?'

'AITA for refusing to change my wedding date even though my SIL is pregnant?'


"AITA for Refusing to Change My Wedding Date Even Though My Sister-in-Law is Pregnant?"

I'm in a bit of a dilemma and need some outside perspective. My fiancé and I have been planning our wedding for over a year. We picked a special date significant to us, and everything is set - venue, caterers, guests have saved the date, you name it.

Here's where it gets complicated. My brother and his wife recently announced they're expecting their first child. We're all thrilled, but the due date is very close to my wedding date. At first, I didn't think much of it - babies have their own timing, right?

But last week, my sister-in-law approached me, asking if I could consider moving the wedding date. She explained that she's worried about either going into labor at my wedding or being too close to the due date to attend. She's also concerned about travel, as they live a few hours away.

I understand her concerns, but changing the date now seems almost impossible. It's not just about losing deposits and coordinating with vendors; many of our guests have made travel plans, some even coming from overseas. My fiancé and I are also emotionally attached to our date.

My family is divided. My parents think I should try to accommodate my sister-in-law, considering it's a significant life event for her too. But my friends say it's unfair to expect me to change everything for something that's not within anyone's control.

I'm torn. On one hand, I want my brother and his wife to be part of my special day. On the other, it feels unreasonable to overhaul our plans, incurring financial loss and inconvenience to many. Am I the ahole for sticking to my original wedding date?

Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:

NoImagination7892 said:

I, personally, don’t think you need to go through the expense of changing your date. What if something else comes up for the new date? SIL may need to just sit this one out.

theworldisonfire8377 said:

Tell SIL and whatever family is trying to convince you of this, that they are now responsible for paying you back for the loss of the deposits, and for the extra money it's going to cost to rebook everything.

When they balk at that suggestion, because of course they will, then tell them why they think you should absorb all that cost when they are the ones who want the date moved. NTA, their request is ridiculous.

facinationstreet said:

NTA for not changing the date. If you move the wedding to a month earlier, she could have the baby a month early. Or a month late. Unless you are willing to reschedule for a year in the future, this should be a non-starter for you.

She can decide not to attend, she can decide to take the chance, she can decide to video call into the ceremony and reception to watch it live, she can watch the video later, she can see what options she has if she goes into labor near the venue, etc. This is not your burden to shoulder.

Low_Chocolate_2870 said:

NTA. You’re not responsible for planning around other people’s life events or circumstances. My husband and I did that. We ended up having our wedding in another city and travelled so his grandmother wouldn’t have to travel because she said she was too sick to do so.

Our wedding venue was THREE BLOCKS from her home. She didn’t show. She was pissed her grandson was marrying someone not white so she boycotted. I never would’ve bent over backwards and put out a lot of my family (hotels & travel) if I had known the old bat wasn’t going to show anyway.

iolaus79 said:

NTA. However your response probably should have been that you completely understand if BOTH she and your brother can't make it - I suspect she's worried your brother will go to the wedding and she'll be on her own.

Cannabis_CatSlave said:

NTA. She is ONE person... Unless sister in law is going to cover all the costs associated with moving the wedding and compensating guests that have already booked, she can skip it. Even asking such a thing is an AH move IMO. Her decision to reproduce is not your problem to fix.

Everyone was on OP's side for this one. What's your advice for these soon-to-be newlyweds?

Sources: Reddit
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