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'AITA for refusing to change my wedding venue because my sister got banned from it?'

'AITA for refusing to change my wedding venue because my sister got banned from it?'

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"AITA for refusing to change my wedding venue because my sister got banned from it?"

My (28F) fiancé (30M) and I have been planning our dream wedding for over a year. We booked this stunning vineyard that we both fell in love with. It’s perfect for us—romantic, outdoorsy, and has a killer wine selection (very important to us since we’re wine enthusiasts).

The wedding is in three months, and everything has been finalized. Here’s the issue: My sister “Claire” (24F) got herself banned from the venue last year. She was at a party there and got into a massive argument with another guest.

It escalated to her throwing a glass of wine at the guy and smashing a centerpiece. She was escorted out and told she wasn’t welcome back. I don’t know all the details because she downplays it, but the venue’s management confirmed she’s blacklisted. When Claire found out where our wedding was, she freaked out.

She called me crying, saying it’s humiliating that she won’t be able to attend her own sister’s wedding. She begged me to change the venue, but at this point, switching locations would mean losing a lot of money and potentially delaying the wedding. I told her I’m sorry, but her actions have consequences, and I can’t rearrange everything to accommodate her.

Now she’s telling everyone in the family that I’m being cruel and that I’m “choosing a venue over her.” My parents are torn—they understand my side but think I should consider compromising for the sake of family harmony. My fiancé is 100% on my side, saying Claire needs to grow up and that we shouldn’t cater to her drama.

Claire even suggested we hire a mediator or “try to convince” the venue to make an exception for her, but I don’t want to risk our relationship with the venue or look like we’re excusing her past behavior. So now I’m stuck. Half my family thinks I’m being unfair, and the other half is fed up with Claire’s antics. AITA for sticking to my dream venue and not letting her come?

The internet had a lot to say in response.

Sparklingwine23 wrote:

NTA, she put herself in this situation not you, you aren't obligated to ensure all family or guests haven't been banned before signing contracts with vendors.

Consider hiring a videographer to film the wedding so your sister (and you and the rest of your family) can view it later. But do not let her throw a scene or try to get the venue to let her come, they may cancel your whole booking if they think a fight will ensure again or be a problem.

Past-Minimum-7632 wrote:

NTA. Hold your position. You sister may get drunk at your wedding and cause another scene so this will prevent that from happening. Tell her you can only change the venue, etc. if SHE absorbs the entire cost for the change since she is the reason for the change. That will shut her up.

Sea-Opposite8919 wrote:

Info: did you knew about this incident that happened last year before you booked the venue? Did you disclose the venue to your sister at the time you booked it?

Anyway, it’s on your sister to try to mend the problem if she wants to attend the wedding.

Tally0987654321 wrote:

NTA If your sister put as much energy into fixing her mistake with the venue as she has with her drama with you...she could have solved this. She could go directly to the manager, sit down and humbly apologize.

She could offer to not have one drink and see what she can do to make them feel comfortable. She doesn't sound like she has a humble bone in her body though, so it's no wonder they don't want her back.

Queen-Pierogi-V wrote:

OP there is a rather huge, suspicious hole in this story. When did you book the venue? When did she get banned? When did you announce the venue? Normally you book a popular venue early in the planning process, as most everything revolves around the venue.

If your sister got banned ‘last year’, surely it was after you booked the venue or very close to the time you booked. Did you not announce it? Why the big secret? Or did she not mention she was banned? But still, seriously, why didn’t she know your venue? There are 3 months until the wedding, she JUST found out your venue? Really? Your story just doesn’t hold water.

Turbulent_Ebb5669 wrote:

Claire can hire a mediator. Pretty sure someone will take the money and have a chuckle with the venue people.

Also, you're not not allowing her to attend, she did that herself.

Dvlsacdocate108 wrote:

NTA, but can you call the venue and inquire if your sister can attend if, AND ONLY IF, she can be wheeled in on a trolley like Hannibal Lecter in Silence of the Lambs...if the venue accepts, tell your sister its a conditional entry.

Effective-Hour8642 wrote:

It's NOT her wedding. It's NOT your fault she got 'blacklisted' that was all her. Please don't let her determine your wedding plans. It's your wedding and your day. If she, 1 person, can't be there because of HER actions WHY should you put her in front of what you two want? Family?

If that's what's important to you, go for it. Personally, I'd go ahead with what you two want. So what if she isn't there. Is it going to ruin your life? Are family members so willing to toss a relationship with you over HER actions? GO. Do it. Be happy. You don't need your sister there to celebrate. Best wishes.

Sources: Reddit
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