'AITA for refusing to give my ex his dog back after he left him with me for months?'

"AITAH for refusing to give my ex his dog back after he left him with me for months?"

Okay, so my ex (M28) and I (F26) broke up like 5 months ago. He was the one who ended things, told me he “needed time to figure things out,” and moved out of our place within a week. It sucked, but whatever, I accepted it.

Thing is, when he left, he also left behind his dog, a 3-year-old golden retriever named Max. He told me he’d “come back for him soon” but…never did. At first, I kept reaching out like, “Hey, when are you picking up Max?” and everytime it was some excuse.

“I’m too busy rn.”

“I don’t have a stable place yet.”

“Can you just keep him for a little longer?”

At some point, I just stopped asking. Like bro, if you actually wanted your dog, you’d find a way. So yeah, it’s been five months now, and Max is basically my dog at this point. I pay for all his food, vet visits, toys, everything. We go on runs, he sleeps in my bed, he follows me everywhere. I love this dog. Then, out of nowhere last week, my ex texts me like, “Hey, I can come get Max this weekend.”

No “Hey, thanks for taking care of him,” no apology, nothing. Just acting like he can pick him up like he left his jacket here or some s--t. So I straight up told him no. I said, “You left him with me for months without even checking in, and now you want him back just like that? Nah.”

Now he’s pissed, saying I’m stealing his dog and that I’m being selfish. Some mutual friends are like, “Well, technically he was always his dog, so maybe you should give him back,” but others are saying “He abandoned Max, you’re his owner now.” Idk, I feel like I did the right thing, but maybe I should just give Max back? AITAH?

The internet did not hold back one bit.

babsbunny77 wrote:

Nope. You have a dog now. You've paid for him long enough without any timeline of when he was to be returned. If he was to take you to court, all the bills for food and care for the past half a year would determine that you're the new owner. As for the mutual friends, I don't see them lining up to help with Max's bills, so nevermind their snarky opinions. Enjoy your dog.

Quite frankly, since it took him that long to get stabilized and find a home, I'd worry that if it happened again and Max ended up in the wrong hands, he would be sent to a shelter or sold, which could end up very bad if someone got him as a bait dog. You were a kind soul and you're a dog owner now.

yukonchatter wrote:

Max is YOUR dog. Pets are legally considered property but no one who has a pet thinks of it that way. Your dog is a living, breathing being who requires food, good water, regular walks, medical care, and lots of companionship, attention, and affection to thrive.

I'm sure Max thinks you belong to him now. Your ex has a lot of nerve demanding him back after having abandoned him. Do you really think he'll go to the expense and effort to reclaim Max? Please keep Max.

plantslover5 wrote:

NTA- that’s your dog now. Goldens are usually one person dogs. what is your living situation like? Is there any time that he’s in a fenced in yard type situation? I’ve had dogs stolen from my backyard WHILE I WAS HOME! Ex could definitely try to come take him back.

chloet5759 wrote:

NTA - He abandoned him and never came to visit or take him out!! I can not even imagine leaving my golden retriever behind but if I had no choice, I'd be picking him up for walks, paying for his food and any vet visits!!

The fact that he did not keep in touch with you to update you on what was going on with him and his living situation says he didn't give a sh*t, he was just living his single life. Screw him, Max is your dog now!!

TangledUpPuppeteer wrote:

What would happen if you didn’t take care of Max and took him to a shelter? Your bf abandoned his dog. By now max would have been adopted out to an entirely new family and have gotten settled. Same happened here.

Put all your receipts together, find the messages where he had nothing but excuses going back six months, and be ready. If he tries to take the dog, you actually have the legal ability to block him.

CandyPopPanda wrote:

NTA.

Make up an invoice with vet costs, food costs, hourly wages for dog care and walking services and everything else...he has to pay before he can get his Dog, I bet he'll quickly forget Max again 😏

FlowerGirlAva wrote:

Add up everything you've spent on Max for the last 5 months then hand him the bill and say when you pay me this you we can talk about you getting your dog back. He's not going to come up with the money I promise that. That dog belongs with you.

9inkski3s wrote:

Nope I wouldn’t return him either. Dogs are not cheap plus they are living beings with feelings. I am sure he was confused and hurt when his owner never came back. So no he doesn’t deserve that and I wouldn’t return him.

joyfulfairywhisk wrote:

NTA. Your ex abandoned Max. He didn’t just ask for a favor, he dipped for five months, barely checked in, and let you handle all the responsibilities. Dogs aren’t property you can just leave behind and reclaim whenever it’s convenient.