'AITA for refusing to house my best friend’s dog while she’s on vacation?'
"AITA for refusing to house my best friend’s dog while she’s on vacation?"
My (28F) best friend Rachel (30F) asked me last week if I could watch her dog, Max, for two weeks while she and her boyfriend go on a luxury vacation. Max is a sweet dog, but he’s high-energy, not properly trained, and has a habit of chewing on furniture and shoes.
I’ve had Max over once before when Rachel visited my place, and he caused quite a bit of chaos—he chewed through my couch cushion and left scratches on my wooden floors. I also live in a small apartment, and managing Max alongside my demanding work-from-home schedule would be a huge challenge.
When Rachel brought it up, I politely declined and explained that my current setup isn’t ideal for a high-energy dog. I suggested she look into a pet-sitting service or a kennel, even offering to help cover a portion of the cost since I know money is tight for her right now. She didn’t take it well, saying I should want to help her out as a best friend and that Max would feel abandoned if he was left at a kennel.
Since then, Rachel has been distant and has made a few passive-aggressive remarks about how she “can’t count on me when it matters.” Some mutual friends have even weighed in, saying I’m being too rigid and could make it work “if I really wanted to.”
I feel bad for saying no, but I also feel like I’m setting a boundary to protect my space and peace of mind. Now, I’m wondering if I should’ve just sucked it up and agreed to help her out.
AITA?
The internet commenters quickly shared all of their thoughts.
AlliterativeA-s wrote:
If Rachael can’t afford to board her dog, she can’t afford to go on vacation. It’s as simple as that. Pet care is part of the cost of leaving town, and her pet is 100% her responsibility. Looks like she needs to learn to save up more before making commitments.
OP responded:
You're absolutely right. Pet care is part of the responsibility of owning a dog, and if Rachel can’t factor that into her vacation plans, maybe it’s time she reevaluates her priorities. I can't put my peace and home at risk because she didn’t plan properly.
Accurate_Prompt_8800 wrote:
NTA.
I wonder if your friend ever paid up for the damages caused last time you looked after her dog? It’s a no from me.
OP responded:
No, she didn’t even offer to repair the damages from last time. That’s another reason why I’m hesitant—there’s no accountability. Thanks for understanding!
Maggiemaxfield wrote:
No, and it’s manipulative of her to try to get mutual friends to gang up.
NTA.
OP responded:
The group effort to make me feel bad has been tough to deal with. I appreciate you seeing it for what it is—manipulative behavior.
ForwardPlenty wrote:
Not everyone is set up to handle a dog, especially a high energy, not very well trained dog. You are NTA for saying no. Most dog owners have a pet service, a kennel or sitter vetted so that they have someone else to take care of the dog for vacations or emergency.
Her lack of planning is not your problem and she is not a good friend for trying to guilt trip you into doing something you aren't comfortable doing.
OP responded:
Thank you for this. It’s frustrating to be guilt-tripped when I’ve already suggested reasonable alternatives. Her lack of planning shouldn’t turn into my problem.
GinnjaNinnja wrote:
NTA. You need to set a boundary and you did. If you took the dog, he’d cause big issues, as that’s already been proven. That would create a lot of resentment and a bigger issue between you two than is created now. If some mutual friends are telling you you’re too rigid then maybe they should offer to help.
OP responded:
Exactly. Letting Max stay would only create resentment. I’d rather set boundaries now than ruin the friendship completely later.
theworldisonfire8377 wrote:
Do you have pictures of the damage he did last time? If you do, I'd send the pics in a group chat to the flying monkeys and tell them that this is why, and if they have an issue with your stance, they can take him in if they care so much. You are well within your rights to say no to a destructive and untrained dog. NTA.
OP responded:
That’s a great idea if I still had pictures of the damage, I’d definitely send them. Thanks for the suggestion and the support!
MaMIdCent wrote:
NTA. Dogs can have a blast at a kennel with lots of playtime included. If any of your friends give you any lip, then tell them they can host the dog for Rachel. The alternative is to have someone house-sit so at least Max is in his own space. Again, any of these other mutual friends are welcome to volunteer.
OP responded:
That’s a great point! A kennel can be a fun experience for dogs if she chooses the right one. If any of my mutual friends want to step in, they’re welcome to do so.