'AITA for refusing to let my kids see my mother after she sold the home I paid for?'

"AITA for refusing to let my kids see my mother after she sold the home I paid for?"

For nearly nine years, I lived in and paid for a home under the agreement that once it was paid off, my mother would transfer the title to me. The home was in her name, but I covered the mortgage, lot rent, and all expenses. I also put my own money into renovations and repairs like new flooring, light fixtures, refinishing cabinets, replacing appliances, and fixing the oven.

My mom originally bought the home in 2015, planning to leave her husband. When she changed her mind about the divorce, she offered it to me, saying it was a great way to “invest my money into something for my future.” I agreed and moved in, believing I was working toward ownership.

The Roof & Her Changing the Terms

In 2022, my roof started leaking. I called my mom for advice, but she didn’t know anyone who could do small repairs. My boyfriend at the time (who had roofing experience) helped me fix it, and I paid for all the materials.

Later, she insisted on sending out someone she knew to check the roof. Since the home was in her name, I couldn’t stop her. She then decided to have the entire roof replaced without my consent. When I asked about the cost, she brushed it off, saying, “Don’t worry, God always provides.” In early 2023, she suddenly demanded $3,000 for the roof, despite never discussing payment beforehand.

I told her this felt unfair, since I never agreed to it. I offered to make monthly payments, but she was furious. Her final ultimatum:

By early 2024, I was less than $3,500 away from fully paying off the home. I was ready to be done with all the drama.

But then, in February 2024, my mom raised the roof cost by another $1,500, bringing it to $4,500, and added other random fees, telling me I had one week to pay over $20,000 or move out. I was stunned. I asked why, and all she said was, “The choice is yours to make—you just have to decide what path to take.” No explanation—just an ultimatum.

When I refused, she started making my life hell. In April 2024, she showed up unannounced and refused to leave until the authorities made her. At that point, I had no choice—I packed up my kids and moved out on May 1st, 2024. Not long after, she sold the home I had spent nearly a decade paying for, keeping all the money for herself.

My family thinks I should “move on.”

Now, my family says I’m the bad guy for cutting her off and “keeping her grandkids away.” But my kids want nothing to do with her—they were old enough to understand what happened and felt just as betrayed as I did.

To make things worse, she has been showing up uninvited to my kids’ events and causing scenes. I’m now looking into legal options to keep her away, as I don’t want her forcing her way back into their lives. My family says I should “just move on” because “it’s not worth losing family over.” But I can’t just forget about all the money I put into that home.

It’s been almost a year, and I am now seeking legal advice because I refuse to let her get away with it. I feel like I owe her nothing at this point, but my family keeps guilt-tripping me, saying I’m being too harsh. AITA for refusing to let my kids see my mother and not just “moving on” like my family wants me to?

The internet did not hold back one bit.

Valuable-Job-7956 wrote:

Send her a cease and desist letter telling her to leave you and your kids alone if she doesn’t then got to the police and file charges for harassment. Also talk to your kids schools inform them that she is not allowed near your kids. And as for your family ask them what they would do if they had a deal with someone and that person kept changing the terms to the point where you had to walk away. See what they say.

Srvnt_Grrl7889 wrote:

NTA, and screw what your family says. I saw on another post that “moving on” and “keeping the peace” translate to “shut up and take the ab-se so we can maintain the status quo”. Your mother cheated YOU and YOUR CHILDREN out of a home you paid for, and made better. Tell your mom the next time the kids will visit her will be at her funeral.

Ok_Chance1036 wrote:

For starters if you have proof that the property was going to be yours and proof of payments then you can take her to court. If she makes out that wasn't the agreement, it was just a 'rental' you can take her to court because raising rent by 200% is illegal!

Ask your family members if they are willing to give you the money that you put into a house, so you can have the permanent home you were paying for and expecting for you and your children, if not then they can tell their story walking.

Just let them know that you don't associate with liars and thieves or the people who brush off or enable that behaviour, and then block and ignore them all, they are not family, they are criminals and criminal enablers and if they were so concerned about family, why aren't they showing any concern for you or your CHILDREN.

It's a cruel heartless despicable person who knowingly steals from or screws over kids, so no your Mum doesn't deserve to have contact with your kids as she has already shown she doesn't care for them. Get all the your ducks in a row, get a lawyer and get back what is rightfully yours.

flowerstamp wrote:

NTA, you are literally trying to “move on” from this and none of your remaining family seem to want you to. You are trying to pick yourself up again and make your life better, which means leaving the woman who literally destroyed your family’s sense of safety behind you.

Moving on doesn’t mean you just rug sweep all of the horrible things your mom has put you through “because family.” She has no place in your future and you should let everyone else know they can either get with the program or kindly exit your life right behind her.

Chaoticcapricorn wrote:

Sue her for the return of your money. There was an agreement even informal and she changed it after you had invested money. Tell her and your family she can see your kids when she returns the money in excess of rent that you put into the house.

Used-Negotiation-386 wrote:

NTA. I had a similar situation. Agreed to live in a multi generational home with my in laws, deal was that they'd sign the house over to us. After building basically another house onto their house (added 3 bdrm and a bath to make it a 4 bdrm, 2 full bath home), paid $100k over 10 years, and they never would talk about signing the house over.

I finally realized that they never were going to, they saw it as their house, and we were being allowed the august privilege of living there. So my mil now has her dream home perfect for guests and entertaining that she always wanted but could never afford, off her 3 grandkids backs. We moved out and I don't speak to them anymore. Protect your kids momma!