'AITA for refusing to let my sister stay with me for a few weeks after she got married?'

"AITA for refusing to let my sister stay with me after she got married and demanded I 'adjust' my lifestyle for her husband?"

Okay, so I (28F) have a pretty established routine. I live alone in a two-bedroom apartment, and while I’m not a "neat freak," I like my space to be organized and have a certain vibe to it (think minimalist, calm, and quiet).

My sister (30F) recently got married to this guy (31M) who I barely know. They live about 3 hours away, and since their wedding a month ago, she’s been asking to stay with me for a few weeks.

Normally, I’d be fine with it — I love my sister — but there’s a catch. When I agreed, she dropped the bomb that she’s bringing her husband with her. Apparently, he "doesn't feel comfortable being alone" for extended periods, so she wants me to "adjust" my lifestyle for them as a couple.

This means rearranging my apartment for them, having “quiet hours” during the day because he works from home, and no longer playing music or hosting friends when they’re around. Oh, and she suggested I stop using the guest room for my own “hobbies,” which is how I unwind after work.

Basically, I’m supposed to cater to their "needs" and "make space for their relationship." I told her I wasn't comfortable with that, especially since I don’t even know her husband that well and wasn’t planning on making my home into a mini hotel or daycare for them.

She got super upset, called me selfish, and said it’s just for a couple of weeks. But I’m really not okay with it — I feel like I would be giving up a lot of my personal space and peace of mind just for her convenience. Now, she’s threatening not to visit at all, and I’m feeling guilty but also like she’s overstepping. So, AITA for refusing to let them stay under these conditions?

The internet did not hold back one bit.

Buttered_Crumpet09 wrote:

NTA. Something fishy is going on here. Why would they expect you to rearrange your apartment, move out your hobby stuff, and basically change everything for them just for a few weeks?

This sounds more like a case of, "We need somewhere to stay but know we'll be told no, so we'll 'visit' for a few weeks, and then OP won't be able to get rid of us because she'll be leaving us homeless, so we can stay for longer and longer until OP has to evict us or accepts that this is our home now."

And even if it isn't that, who the hell as a guest asks someone to rearrange everything for them? My cousin has stayed at my house a lot and not once has he demanded that I rearrange everything for him. Either your sister and her husband are sh--ty and demanding guests, or they're s--ty and demanding mooches trying to con their way into your home. Either way, say no. It will only end badly.

NanoLogica001 wrote:

NTA- your sister sounds like a moocher. Is there something she’s hiding — like she and spouse have no stable housing? And why does spouse have to work during the visit? Something is not adding up!

unfortunate_crafter wrote:

NTA. It's your space and it sounds like she's asking for a lot. A couple weeks is a long time to live in a situation that's making you uncomfortable.

OP responded:

Thank you all for the reassuring words!

Nytemare68 wrote:

NTA!! That is YOUR home YOUR space! It’s one thing to adjust a few REASONABLE requests but turning your space and routine upside down is ridiculous! Your sister is selfish for not thinking about you! She’s a GUEST in YOUR home and is NOT entitled to anything!

veloxaraptor wrote:

"I’m supposed to cater to their 'needs' and 'make space for their relationship.'"

She can do that in her own house on her own time. Not yours.She doesn't want to visit you, she wants to move in to your place and make it so you're uncomfortable enough that you just let them have it.

She's the one making this an untenable situation and threatening not to visit because you won't make yourself uncomfortable in your own home. Don't feel guilty for her inability to be a rational human being. NTA.

ItsLateButty82 wrote:

NTA. Your apartment, your rules. It's one thing to host your sister; it's entirely another to overhaul your lifestyle to accommodate her and a brother-in-law you barely know. Staying with someone is about respecting their space and routines, not imposing your own.

If they need accommodations that involve such drastic changes to your living environment, they might be better off considering a hotel or Airbnb. Your home is your sanctuary, not a pop-up retreat for newlyweds to dictate how things should be.

Ill_Regular_6690 wrote:

NTA. It’s one thing to host family, but your sister’s demands are unreasonable, especially since she’s asking you to change your routine and give up your personal space for her and her husband’s comfort. It’s your home, and you have every right to set boundaries on how it’s used, especially since you barely know her husband.

They’re asking for a lot of control over your space without much consideration for how it would affect you. If your sister won’t respect your need for boundaries, it’s completely fair to decline the visit. You’re not being selfish for wanting to keep your home comfortable and peaceful for yourself.

Strict-Material7893 wrote:

NTA. She is way overstepping her requests. She decided to bring her emotional support pet "coughs" husband, not you. The host need only accommodate the guest insofar as bread, salt, and a space by the hearth be available. The remainder is up to the guest to conform to their hosts' behaviours so long as blood is not spilled.

Keeping the music down is reasonable. Adjusting the furniture a bit is a little more complicated, but essentially telling you to have no life for their convenience is a step way beyond tolerable.

No music, no hobbies, rearrange the house for "their" comfort. Your remark about being a hotel was entirely on point. They want to subsume your apartment for themselves without paying for it. Me thinks they lost or were evicted from their previous tenancy due to entitled behaviour with other tenants.

Tell her flat out you were trying to be understandable, but the offer is rescinded since their definition of accommodation requires you to sacrifice your entire home to their whims. Being a guest means conforming to the host outside of small concessions such as music volume or private space.