'AITA for refusing to let my sister’s fiancé propose at my wedding?'
"AITA for refusing to let my sister’s fiancé propose at my wedding?"
So, here's the chaos that unfolded at what was supposed to be the happiest day of my life. My sister Ella has been dating her boyfriend Mark for about two years. They’re pretty serious, and everyone sort of expected them to get engaged soon. Meanwhile, I’ve been planning my wedding to my partner Alex for the last year, and it was finally happening.
Three days before the wedding, Ella calls me up and asks if Mark can propose to her at my wedding. She thought it would be romantic to share the moment with the family gathered. I was stunned because I felt like that would take away from our day, a sentiment Alex shared.
We politely declined her request, explaining we wanted the day to focus on our union, and suggested maybe doing it at another family event. Ella was clearly upset but didn't push further.
The day of the wedding arrives, everything is beautiful, and the ceremony goes without a hitch. During the reception, I notice Ella and Mark looking tense, but I'm mingling and don’t think much of it. That was until the speeches start.
My best man had just finished his speech when suddenly Mark stands up, taps his glass, and starts making his own speech. It quickly becomes clear he’s about to propose. I lock eyes with Alex, and we're both shocked. Before I can react, my uncle, who knew the situation and is known for being quite blunt, stands up and literally shouts, “Not the time, Mark!”
Mark sits down, red-faced, and the room is awkwardly silent. My father then tries to smooth things over with a toast, but the mood had shifted. Ella leaves the room crying, and Mark follows.
But here's where it goes from bad to worse. My family's dog, who was also the ring bearer, had been around for the event, under the care of my cousin. In the commotion and the subsequent focus on calming Ella down, our dog, Toby, slipped out of his collar and ran off.
For the next two hours, half of the wedding guests are out looking for Toby in our wedding attire. Thankfully, Toby was found, but by the end of the night, the wedding was more of a rescue mission vibe than a celebration.
The next day, my parents and several other relatives called me and Alex, blaming us for the drama because we didn’t let Mark propose as Ella had wanted. They argued it would have just been a small moment and not that big a deal. Ella isn’t speaking to me, and my relationship with some of my family has been strained ever since.
Here's what top commenters had to say about this one:
pumpkinspicenation said:
Your uncle is my hero. Also, no. You didn't do anything wrong. Your sister and Mark did. The absolute audacity of blaming you for not wanting someone else's proposal to happen at your wedding. NTA.
Crafty_Special_7052 said:
Applause your uncle for stopping the proposal. NTA.
HeartShapedSea said:
NTA. Mark can finance and gather his own crowd for a proposal. You were under no obligation to make your day about them. It's not a small thing. The rest of your reception would have been about her engagement, which is so grossly entitled. I love your uncle.
EntrepreneurLow5332 said:
Definitely NTA. As you said, it is YOUR day, not your sister's. Seen too many stories of how this ruins relationships, be it your family cause they think everything would be better for the proposal to happen, or your fiancee's family for being pissed off if the proposal happen.
Now you just have to plan a pregnancy announcement for your sister's wedding and see if she feels differently about these stupid announcements during someone's wedding.
Cybermagetx said:
Nta. Tell them that your wedding isn't for others to make announcements or proposal. And if they do not stop you will start blocking. The only AH are your sister and her fiance.
carlosmurphynachos said:
NTA, the entitlement. Why aren’t you angry at them? Even after you said no, they thought they could high jack your wedding. And then instead of celebrating you had to spend time hunting for a lost dog. So sorry. I would be LIVID at them!! And anyone who dares say you are responsible for the drama can shove it. Just respond with you didn’t bring the drama, they did.