'AITA for refusing to share my inheritance with my sister after she cut me off for 10 years?'
"AITA for refusing to share my inheritance with my entitled sister after she cut me off for 10 years?"
So, here’s some backstory. My (28M) older sister (35F) cut me off completely about 10 years ago when I was 18, shortly after our parents passed in a car accident.
She basically abandoned me during one of the toughest times of my life because I wasn’t “mature” enough, and she wanted to live her life freely. No calls, no texts, no support. I had to work multiple jobs to support myself and pay for college, all on my own.
Fast forward to a month ago, I inherited a substantial amount of money from our maternal grandfather. It was an unexpected inheritance, but it’s changed my life. Suddenly, my sister is back in the picture, acting like we’re the closest family in the world. She starts hinting at financial struggles and how tough life has been for her.
I told her outright that I wasn’t interested in sharing my inheritance, especially after she abandoned me for a decade. She got extremely angry and accused me of being selfish and “ungrateful” because “we’re family.”
AITA for standing my ground and refusing to give her any money? My friends are saying I’m not in the wrong, but a few family members think I should be more “forgiving.”
The internet had a lot to say in response.
ExistenceRaisin wrote:
Definitely NTA. She cut you out of her life for 10 years, and now the only reason she has reconnected with you is because she wants your money. If she cared about family, she would have been there for you when you needed her.
OP responded:
Exactly! If she actually cared about family, she would have been there when I needed her most, not when there’s money involved. Not falling for it now.
becoming_maxine wrote:
NTA.
She can't play the family card after being NC for over 10 years. Didn't grandfather leave her anything or does she feel entitled to dip into your share too?
OP responded:
Exactly! She can’t suddenly play the “family” card now. And nope, my grandfather left her nothing, so she’s trying to take from my share.
Easton_HJE wrote:
Nope NTA. I wouldn’t give her any of it. If she couldn’t be there for you for ten years she has no business trying to come back and act like you two are besties.
OP responded:
Right? She can’t just pretend everything’s fine after 10 years of silence, especially now that there’s money on the table. Not happening.
HugeintheShire wrote:
NTA.
She clearly just want the money, but why didn't she inherit anything? Most grandparents don't leave everything to one grandchild, was she left out or did she blow hers already?
OP responded:
Exactly! If she really valued family, she wouldn’t just show up now because of money. As for her inheritance, I have no idea, but it’s not my problem. She needs to figure her own life out!
Hawaiianstylin808 wrote:
Not quite sure how you are ungrateful. I mean she hasn’t done anything for you.
Selfish. Again she is no contact until she needs something.
You are just following her lead by providing her with the exact same level of family responsibility she has provided you over the last 10 years. NTA. Block her on everything.
OP responded:
Exactly! I’m just matching her energy after all these years. If she didn’t care about me then, why should I care about her now? Blocking her is definitely something I will do!
Netflickingthebean wrote:
Nope, please, give her nothing, not even your attention. She showed you how much she valued you already, the only value that changed was the value of your bank account.
NTA.
OP responded:
Exactly! She made her choice when she walked out of my life for 10 years. Now she only wants back in because of money. Not falling for it.
nycgarbagewh-re wrote:
INFO: how did she find out you inherited anything? Did other family members keep in contact and tell her? I would be wondering what else they've told her over the years.
OP responded:
She found out through a mutual family member who thought it was okay to share that info. Honestly, it makes me wonder what else they’ve said about me over the years. I’ve been kept in the dark about her life, so it’s frustrating to think they might have filled her in on mine.
Change2001 wrote:
NTA. But tell her you will think about it and to get back to you in another decade. Maybe you will have made a decision by then.
OP responded:
That’s a hilarious idea! I might just do that. Let her stew for another decade😂
DJ_Too_Supreme_AITA wrote:
NTA. "Suddenly, my sister is back in the picture, acting like we're the closest family in the world." Yeah, she suddenly appears after you get this life changing inheritance. OP, don’t fall for this. Your sister doesn’t care about you, she cares about money. Don’t give her a dime.
"She starts hinting at financial struggles and how tough life has been for her."
My response would be "damn that's crazy." What about your life?
You had to basically survive on your own while mourning the loss of your parents and the abandonment of your only sibling alone but sure her life was tough 🙄
"She got extremely angry and accused me of being selfish and "ungrateful" because we're 'family.'"
That's funny coming from the one who abandoned a freshly turned 18 year old to fend for himself; were y'all "family" then? Also, it angers me every time someone entitled think they are entitled to something because "FaMiLy". You have the right to be selfish because she hasn't done anything for you. You can’t be "ungrateful" when you were never given anything to be grateful for.