'AITA for refusing to train my replacement after being passed over for a promotion?'
"AITA for refusing to train my replacement after being passed over for a promotion?"
I (29F) have been working at my company for five years. Recently, a promotion opened up that I was heavily encouraged to apply for. I did multiple interviews, got good feedback, and honestly thought I had a strong shot. Then, out of nowhere, they gave the role to Dave (34M), a guy who has been here for just over a year.
The official reasoning was that he had more leadership experience. Which is fine, but he was literally coming to me for help on projects up until last month. It stung, but I was ready to move on, until my manager asked me to "help bring Dave up to speed" on my tasks. Apparently, I’d be shifting into more of a support role under him.
I flat-out said no. I told them if I wasn’t qualified enough to be promoted, then I wasn’t qualified enough to train him either. My manager looked genuinely shocked and said I was being short-sighted and unprofessional.
HR even pulled me aside and implied that refusing could impact my future here. But at this point, I’m already job hunting, so I just keep doing my usual work while they scramble to get Dave up to speed. Some coworkers think I’m justified, while others (including Dave) feel like I’m being petty. AITA?
The internet had a lot to say in response.
Successful_position2 wrote:
I'd respond that there actions have already have already affected my future and only an idiot trains their replacement when they don't get a promotion because it means they being replaced.
OP responded:
Yeah exactly, you already passed me over for promotion so I figure go f#$k yourself. Why should I help you after you guys wronged me.
Prudii_Skirata wrote:
NTA.
In the shortsighted mindset of corporate. If you make yourself irreplacable, you become unpromotable.
EDJardin wrote:
NTA, and LOL on HR. Impact your future? Like being passed over for someone less qualified didn't already have an impact. Sounds like it's time for Dave to show off all his "leadership" skills while you focus on finding a new job. Also, unless it is part of your regular job duties, they can't legally fire you for not training your replacement. That's HR's job.
judgeeveryonesbizness wrote:
I'M going to go with NTA - and here is why - you have no future here anyways and sometimes being petty is not the worse thing. Sometimes you gotta do what's right for you to be able to be at peace in your mind and to sleep at night.
Doing the work and helping Dave get s#$t done in the past didn't get you promoted either. So at this point they are probably just going to continue to use and ab-se you, your work ethic and your knowledge.
Sounds like to me that they are working to phase you out anyways. You were qualified to be doing these tasks for the time being but now will be Dave's support? It sucks when you do such a good job and know so much that others come to you for guidance and training but then you get passed over. Sorry this happened to you.
Odd_Task8211 wrote:
NTA. You need to leave. Years ago I was passed over for a job that I was highly qualified for. Then my employer told me the selectee needed a strong deputy because she did not know the organization and would need time to get up to speed. They wanted me to be the deputy. I explained that there was no way in hell I would prop up their selection. A few months later I found a better job and left.
Two years after that I was asked to come back for the job I was passed over for, because the woman they hired had failed miserably. After getting a significant pay increase out of them, I went back. Odds are this guy’s better leadership characteristic is a Y chromosome, but they won’t admit that. Move on and let them live with their hire.
Bearliz wrote:
NTA. This happened to me. I had worked there 15 years. Was passed by a guy who had been there 2 months. Their excuse he was a man and had a family to support. I didn't train him and took a different job in the same company. 3 months later, they asked me to come back to their section and take the promotion. He had left and left a huge mess. I said no thanks, love my new position, and coworkers.
deee00 wrote:
NTA. A very long time ago I was working the Food Ave at Target (way before they switched ti Pizza Hut). We were still cooking stuff. I was the only person with previous food service experience so I was dumped there with virtually no training. I figured it all out and was doing ordering, training, etc. I applied for the supervisor position.
Instead they brought someone from the electronics dept at another store. I was told I’d be training the new supervisor. When I laughed and said I’d only be doing that if I was paid as a trainer they were shocked.
They tried the same tactics…take one for the team, it might impact my future there blah blah blah. I quit on the spot. 10 days later they were blowing up my phone asking how to order and put it away.
They had to close Food Ave for two months because no one knew what to do. Two days later I had a job with better pay where I wasn’t harassed by the local university band fraternity members. Management failing to plan isn’t the fault of the employees they screw over.
Vegetable-Cod-2340 wrote:
NTA.
They can think you’re being petty if they like , but the fact is HR and the Management is responsible for training Dave. What if OP didn’t exist, do they now have any onboarding for this role?!?!
Or are they really just trying to take advantage of OP’s five years in this department, despite the the fact that they didn’t want to promote them! Also HR implying it could affect your job is a empty threat, they encouraged you to apply and didn’t promote you, you know you don’t have a future here , they made that really clear.