'AITA for refusing to workout in front of my boyfriend and waiting for him to leave?'
"AITA for refusing to workout in front of my boyfriend and waiting for him to leave?"
I (26F) am extremely self-conscious about my weight where as my boyfriend (26M) is literally the definition of “skinny as a twig.” I frequently go through slumps of falling out of the gym and when this happens I like to start back up with YouTube’s Emkfit Pilates and HIIT workouts to gain back my stamina and to get remotivated.
Every time I play these videos he has always made fun of them and say they don’t do anything. “You’ve been doing those for years and what have they gotten you?” He said to me today. Today when I got home from workout he was on the couch watching Netflix already as he came home sick from work.
I got dressed in my workout clothes and he asked if I was coming to workout in the living room. I told him yes and he left to walk the dog. I was a little over halfway done when he came back. He walked into the living room eating a bag of pretzels and started watching. I instantly started messing up and asked him to leave.
He knows I don’t like doing these videos in front of him cause I just get flustered and embarrassed. This is when he goes on a rant of how it doesn’t matter and to keep going. I shut down at that point and sit down on the couch pausing the video. He eventually goes into the bedroom but only enough time to turn on the TV and walk back out within 10-15 seconds.
“See I went into the bedroom and you’re still not working out!” Well of course not I knew you were just going to come straight back out which you did. At that point I grab my phone and go on Instagram. He starts ranting again before going back into the bedroom, and that’s when he says the comment of doing these videos for years and it not doing anything for me.
He tells me I have “2 minutes to start working out” before he comes back. He finally stops talking and I was just going to wait enough time for the Instagram video to finish to restart the workout (wanted to wait at least a few minutes to make sure he wasn’t going to come back out). Within 1 minute he comes back out and sits on the couch.
He’s again going on a long rant about how I’m being a child and so on and so fourth. I don’t say anything, just stare at the TV until it goes into sleep mode. About 8 mins go by. He doesn’t leave. Just stares at me while eating his pretzels. My cat meows from the bathroom (I put him in there to eat his wet food away from our other cat) so I turn off the tv and go to let him out.
Now I’m just sitting here in the bathroom typing this out. So AITA here? I can see where I was being childish, sitting on the couch and refusing to restart until he leaves. And like really leave, not go to the bedroom and continuing complaining to me and then coming straight back out.
But wouldn’t that also be childish on his part, refusing to do something his partner asked him to do knowing she doesn’t like it? Side note: I was also getting gassy working out and didn’t want to be ripping ass with him right behind me….I wasn’t going to tell him that though.
The internet had a lot to say in response.
jimfish98 wrote:
NTA- I hate working out and feel it is a waste of time. Doing something productive that breaks a sweat is more ideal for me. My wife is the exact opposite and likes routines and such. While we differ greatly, I can just scroll my phone if she's doing something in the living room.
When she needed more, I cleaned out the garage, added storage, and got her a treadmill and elliptical. When she tired of the elliptical and wanted strength training, I sold that and got her a power rack, free weights, resistance bands, rope, bench, adjustable dumbbells.
Your partner needs to be a supportive partner or you should find a new partner. This is one area where there is no support and I would venture to say there are more.
WanderingHook wrote:
NTA. I am an old married woman who also works out at home. And I have expressed the same things you have: being self conscious and just aware someone else is watching and judging. And when I spoke up, my family left the room and gave me space and encouragement on the days I didn’t want to do it.
Only-upvibes wrote:
Oh sweetie I feel everything you are saying. My spouse use to come in the room and start critiquing me. He was a tall, strong, natural athletic. I was short slightly overweight after 2 pregnancies. I would stop and tell him to go away. He’d roll his eyes and go away.
I finally told him that I was insecure because I had no rhythm, I was a natural clutz and his critique made me want to quit and not even try. Didn’t he want me to be in shape, lose weight, and feel s-xy again? He never interrupted me again. I got back in shape! Now 40 years later we are both 25 pounds overweight with bad knees, hips and back pain.
We love each other no matter what we look like. But I don’t see your relationship lasting 48 years. You are a young beautiful woman that doesn’t need a derogatory man degrading you and feeding your insecurities. Please love yourself enough to move on.
Hayauta wrote:
NTA. Girl, he’s literally bullying you while eating pretzels on the couch 💀 The fact that he mocks your workouts, tries to control when you exercise, and refuses to respect a super simple boundary is so weird. Like, why does he care so much about what you do in the living room?? This is giving 🚩🚩 not support. You deserve someone who hypes you up, not someone who belittles you while snacking.