'AITA for the role I played in getting me and my younger siblings removed from our parents?'
"AITA for the role I played in getting me and my younger siblings removed from our parents?"
Me (15m) and my younger siblings (10, 8, 7 and 5) were taken from our parents a couple of months ago. I have another sister (16) and she was a big part of the reason. Ever since I can remember she was always doing stuff to hurt people. Didn't matter who it was. She'd lash out and do stuff to hurt people.
I never got hurt because I was about the same size and would push her off. But she hurt our parents and other kids before and when we had younger siblings it was the same. A few years ago she was in the hospital for a while and when she came back out our parents sat me down and told me she had something called a conduct disorder and it's why she is the way she is.
They didn't explain it to me but I looked it up and it fits my sister a lot. When she came home we were given a case worker who'd come and she helped my parents find resources and it was her job to make sure things didn't get so bad that someone had to leave the house for good. She was never around during the bad stuff.
Ever since my younger sister (10) started crawling I had to protect her if my older sister tried to hurt her and then it was my other siblings too. My younger siblings would sleep with me or in my room because they were afraid of our older sister. I don't feel like my parents ever did enough to keep my younger siblings safe. That was on me. And I didn't mind doing it for a long time.
Even when the case worker would ask I wouldn't be as open about how bad things would be and how much stuff happened. Now I regret it but I thought I could do a better job. My older sister's getting more dangerous though and one time I got home late and my siblings locked themselves in my bedroom because they had the family laptop for school stuff and she wanted it.
My mom was trying to calm her down but it wasn't happening and she was really losing it. When I got her away from my room I got inside and locked the door again and I was able to comfort my siblings enough that they fell asleep. I think they were just so afraid it made them tired.
Then I called the case worker and told her it was getting worse and how bad things really were and I admitted we were locked in the room. She came to the house and there was someone else with her. They talked to each of us and after a couple of days we were told to pack some stuff and we'd be going to stay with family. My aunt and uncle took my siblings and my grandparents took me.
My grandparents couldn't cope with all of us but my aunt and uncle didn't want me. Since we were removed not only are my parents mad at me, and I'm mad at them too, but my aunt and uncle blame me because my siblings miss me and my aunt and uncle feel like I put this big burden on everyone because I got us taken from our parents.
I try to see my siblings as much as I can but I'm also dealing with stuff that's come to light more. I'm in a really bad place mentally and I'm not sleeping like I should be. But my aunt and uncle keep saying I'm not being there for my siblings and since I'm the reason we were taken I should be taking it seriously. AITA?
The internet had a lot to say in response.
Inahayes1 wrote:
You aren’t the person who got yall taken away. She was. You did the right thing. And f your aunt and uncle. They didn’t have to live in fear like yall did. Why don’t they just take your violent sister and you and your siblings and go home? I bet they would say no. Your sister needs to be in a hospital.
OP responded:
They said they would never. But I'm supposed to keep protecting my siblings so we can all be together. Only I can't be there all the time. I wasn't there the day I had to call. Scared the crap out of me!
Nia04 wrote:
If your aunt and uncle want you to see the siblings more, then they should have let you live there.
You did the right thing. If your older sister had really hurt one of your other siblings, you would always wish you had done exactly this.
The CPS might be able to help you with your mental health and stuff right now. It might be worth reaching out to them and asking. You can also tell them if you think your aunt and uncle aren't fit to care for your siblings. They always want to keep the children with family, but sometimes that's not what's best for the children.
DeliciousMud7291 wrote:
You did the right thing. Let me say that again:
You did the right thing! Everyone who is mad at you can go f--k right off. You SAVED your siblings and yourself.
You sister is a psychopath and that is NOT your fault. The fault lies with your parents for not protecting you and your younger siblings from her abuse.
You, my dear, are NTA.
Direct_Tie9967 wrote:
I'm so sorry that everyone around you failed you! They failed you and your siblings. You were parentalized. It's easier for your aunt and uncle to blame you than look at how bad the situation really was.
What, and who your sister is and what your parents weren't doing. Keeping a safe environment. Focus on your health. See them when you can. Know you may have saved all of your lives. I wish you had more support.