'AITA for ruining my sister's baby shower after she hijacked my engagement announcement?"

"AITA for ruining my sister's baby shower after she hijacked my engagement announcement?"

Hey internet, buckle up because this one is a mess. I’m Luna (25F), and I’m this close to losing it completely. I need to know if I’m the villain here because my family’s acting like I committed a federal crime.

So, a bit of background. I’ve been with my fiancé, James (27M), for five years. We finally got engaged last month, and I was so excited to share the news with everyone. This was huge for me — I’ve always been the low-key one in the family, and this engagement finally felt like my moment.

My sister, Rachel (28F), is the golden child. She’s pregnant with her third kid (with her useless husband who barely works, but that’s another story), and my parents treat her like she’s the second coming of the Virgin Mary. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy for her… until this s--tshow went down.

So, last weekend, we had a big family dinner. I’d planned to announce my engagement there — James and I even brought a bottle of champagne to celebrate. We’re sitting at the table, and right as I stand up to share our news, Rachel stands up, taps her glass, and says, “We have an announcement!” She then tells everyone they’re having a girl. Cue the oohs and ahhs.

My mom practically leapt out of her seat to hug her, and suddenly everyone was gushing about the baby. My engagement ring was burning a hole in my pocket, and I just sat there like an idiot. James squeezed my hand under the table, and I thought, “Okay, whatever, I’ll just wait for a quieter moment.” BUT THEN Rachel turns to me and goes, “Oh, Luna, what were you going to say?”

And the way she said it — smug as hell, like she knew she’d stolen my thunder. I was so caught off guard, I just mumbled, “Nothing, it’s not important.” She smirked and went right back to talking about the baby. I was fuming. James was fuming. But I stayed quiet to avoid drama because, you know, family peace and all that bulls--t.

Fast forward to Rachel’s baby shower two weeks later. I went because, despite everything, I thought, “Okay, I’ll be the bigger person.” But the second I walked in, she was all fake smiles and said, “Glad you could finally make it, Luna!” in that condescending tone that makes me wanna throw things.

I snapped. I don’t know what came over me, but I said, loud enough for the whole room to hear, “Yeah, wouldn’t want to miss another chance to have my moment stolen.” The room went dead silent. Rachel’s face turned red, and she hissed, “What the hell is wrong with you?”

And I said, “What’s wrong with me? You hijacked my engagement announcement, and you know it.” Then I walked out. Now my phone is blowing up. My mom says I “ruined the baby shower” and that I’m “jealous” of Rachel. Rachel’s been texting me that I’m a “bitter bitch” and “selfish.” Even some cousins are saying I overreacted.

But honestly? I feel like I finally stood up for myself. I didn’t yell, I didn’t break anything — I just told the truth. James says I did nothing wrong, but now I’m doubting myself. So, internet, AITA for finally calling my sister out and maybe ruining her baby shower?

The internet had a lot to say in response.

Trailsya wrote:

NTA. Well done. She knew what she was doing and now you returned the favor. Also, there were probably some people there who know she is terrible and secretly enjoyed it. Block all those people (including mother who favored one kid over the other) and celebrate your wedding with people who actually like you. Don't let sister come to wedding, because she will find some way to pay you back.

Don't let mother come either, because she will make it all about sister not being there. So, no more time wasted on these people. Instead, get to know your neighbor better. Ask that nice person from another department for lunch. Give a compliment to the cashier who works hard and live life without being held back all the time.

OP responded:

Thank you for this. Honestly, you're right — she knew exactly what she was doing, and for once, I just gave her back a taste of her own medicine. And you know what? You’re probably right about some people secretly enjoying it. It’s exhausting always playing the quiet, good sister while she runs wild with no consequences.

I’m so done with the guilt trips and the favoritism. Blocking everyone who thinks I’m the villain in this. If they can’t support me, they don’t need an invite to my wedding. Letting Rachel come would just be asking for her to ruin it, and my mom? She’d probably give a speech about how “Rachel should be here” and make the whole thing about her.

No more wasted energy on people who drain me. I love the idea of focusing on the people who actually deserve my time — the neighbors, coworkers, the random people who make life better just by being kind. Here’s to finally living my life, without being held back by their drama. Cheers to that! 🥂

ObligationWeekly9117 wrote:

INFO: did she know you were going to announce? Did you host the gathering? Was it specifically for this purpose? Or was it a family dinner someone else hosted for a different reason?

OP responded:

Good questions! No, she didn’t know I was going to announce — but she sure as hell knew I’d been waiting for a moment to share something important. It wasn’t my gathering; it was just a regular family dinner, but James and I brought champagne with the intention of celebrating the news.

We didn’t make a big announcement beforehand to keep it casual, but her timing felt way too convenient for it to be innocent. So yeah, technically she didn’t “know,” but it sure didn’t feel like a coincidence either.

AdAccomplished6870 wrote:

I don't think you are wrong for being frustrated, but consider this:

You can't prove she knew what you were going to announce.

She didn't steal your thunder, because you hadn't made your announcement.

Getting you angry is what she wants.

She played you perfectly, getting you to have a public meltdown over things she can easily deny or reframe.

While I am sympathetic to you, she outplayed you here, massively. Now, everyone thinks you are petty and jealous.

And no, you didn't ruin her shower. She got exactly what she wanted from you, and got to play the victim as well.

Spirited_Parking wrote:

This kinda sounds fake by the way it's formated but if it's not, you need to consider that Rachel probably didn't know you had an "announcement" so she shared her's but then you shared your's on her big day so I suppose it's equal?

OP responded:

I get where you’re coming from, but no, it’s not fake — and trust me, it felt all too real in the moment. Rachel absolutely knew I had something to share. We’re not strangers, and she’s not oblivious. I was literally holding champagne in my hand, ready for a toast. It wasn’t like I was waiting for the “perfect moment” to announce it — she saw me preparing and still chose to jump in with her news.

And it’s not “equal” because this isn’t the first time she’s pulled this crap. It’s always her, always her moment. I'm not in the wrong for feeling like this is the 100th time I’ve been pushed to the side while she hogs all the attention.

TastyGyal wrote:

YTA. After reading your comments, it was a family dinner that you didn’t organize. It’s free game for anyone to announce anything. If she saw you were about to say something and spoke up first, you should have been quicker than that. I think that your deep dislike for your sister (throwing in the irrelevant comment about her husband gave it away) may or may not be villainizing everything she does.

It’s not insane for her to announce the gender privately to the family before the baby shower. Then you got “revenge” by making her baby shower about you because in your head the dinner was about you and your fiancé and she didn’t follow the script you wrote.