New mom feels betrayed when she discovers best friend took her mother's place during delivery. AITA?
"AITA Sally took my mom's spot during labor"
SeekingSanity0716
So, this involves my best friend (35F), lets call her Sall, my husband, (32M) and me (31F). I gave birth to my son over a year ago. My entire pregnancy my husband and mom were told they were my support team during labor.
Well the times comes and it time to go to the hospital. Everythings going well. Sally asked if she could come down to the hospital to be there for me. I said of course, as she is the mother of my goddaughter and best friend.
My mom, mother in law, father in law and step mother in law, FIL and my step MIL (drove 16 hours to be there) and Sally are all sleeping in the waiting room as it was 3am. His heart rate dropped and it was time to push. I asked the nurse to go get my mom. She said yes and left.
A few minutes later, Sally walks in. I look at her weird and say where is my mom. Sally says, she woke me up and asked if i wanted to go back there. I was hurt that she didn't want to be there but I said whatever as you know I'm pushing out a baby.
So, morning comes and they let everyone come back to meet him. And my step MIL won't even look at me. My mom looks beyond sad. But, at the time, I just thought it was because she was meeting her grandbaby.
Fast forward about 8 months. Post-partum hit me hard. I was sad all the time. I got help. Side note- do not feel bad about needing help. Please, if you feel off, tell your doctor.
Talking my my older sister about my mood and mom not being there for me hurt so much and she stops me dead in my tracks and says excuse me. That is not what happened.
She goes on to tell me that, when the nurse went to get my mom, she woke up everyone and said it was time and Sally jumped up saying, "I'm going back to take pictures."
Meanwhile, my mom is bawling in the waiting room. I called everyone that was in the room and they all have the same story. Sally still says that they are lying and would never do that to me.
I have distanced myself from her but she is the mother of my goddaughter and it would hurt to not be there for her as she didn't do anything. But I just need to know if i am overreacting by wanting nothing to do with Sally herself.
I feel like I can't trust her. She wants my son overnight. But, no, because I can't trust you to tell me if something happens. So, AITA or do I have the right to be a bigger one?
To clarify: The hospital says only 2 people can be in the room during labor. Sally's daughter is my goddaughter. After talking to my mom after my sister told me what happened, she said she thought I changed my mind about wanting her back there. Sally did take pictures during labor, that I am grateful to have.
Here were the top rated comments from readers in response to the OP's post:
blueeyedwolff
NTA. 100% NTA. Your friend overstepped, then lied about it, and stole the opportunity from your mom of seeing her grandchild born. I would cut Sally off permanently!! What else would she or has she lied about to get her way!! Don't EVER trust her again. I am so sorry, OP. To have that stolen is a huge betrayal. Good luck, OP.
videoslacker
This! Sally blatantly lied to her face about something that's pretty huge. The fact that she's OP's child's Godmother is even worse. The woman who is supposed to help guide the spiritual growth of her child is a self-centered liar.
PracticallySkeptic
INFO: was only one person allowed in the room with you? Otherwise it makes no sense why your mom is left behind crying just because Sally entered the room. Did Sally know that no one else could come in if she was there? Because if she's going to be blamed, that assumes she knew the effect of her actions.
Regardless of the above answers, your mom and mother-in-law have no business whatsoever being upset with you. There is no indication that Sally told them you had chosen her and not them to be present. You were a little bit busy at the time so weren't available for questioning.
If they tried to come in and were turned away by the nurse then it could be a different story, but something isn't adding up because they could have just gone in there and told Sally it was not her turn anymore! Why is the first response to despair in the waiting room?
SeekingSanity0716 (OP)
Sally was aware that only 2 people were allowed in the room. All of the family that was there knew as i wanted my husband and my mom. My mom thought i changed my mind on wanting her in the room and didnt want to cause a problem during my labor, so she didn't say anything. Once i was pushing, they werent allowed to go in and out.
SpiceWeaselOG
NTA. That's a huge problem. Everyone has the same story. The only outlier is the one who showed up in the birthing room. It's not a spectator sport and Sally treated it like one to the detriment of you and your mom.
It was incredibly selfish, short sighted and a clear display of her lack of caring about your mental/physical health in a vulnerable situation. She's best as an ex friend and it's unfortunate that it had to come out the way it did but its better to know now.
Keepforgettingmythro
NTA - Sally has lost your trust. I would limit any situation with her where you don’t feel comfortable especially with your children. Over time should your relationship become even more distant you should reevaluate her godmother status. Or maybe over time she will regain your trust and even come clean and apologize.