'AITA for selecting a non-vegan in-flight child's meal my vegan husband had to pay for?'
"AITA for selecting the in-flight child's meal my vegan husband paid for?"
Hi all,
My husband and I are vegan- I am about 2 years in where as he's at about 8. He purchased an international flight to see his family for himself, me, and my daughter (5yo).
Today I was making sure that we had our vegan meals for tomorrow's flight in place but the app wasn't working so I had to call. I requested for my 5 year old to get a child's meal as she is not vegan (her father and I have split custody so her diet is not set) and a very picky eater.
Upon hearing the call end, he informed me that next time I can pay for her flight because he doesn't want to pay for a non-vegan meal- which would be fair if it was not complimentary and/or a separate cost.
I am completely down to pay for all of our tickets for the next flight in the spirit of fairness, but I don't understand why her getting a meal she would be much more likely to eat (she's outright refused past in-flight meals and this is a long flight) is so horrible to him that he can't even deal with paying for her ticket as a whole. AITA for selecting a non-vegan meal for my 5 year old on a flight he paid for?
The internet had a lot to say in response.
Cavane42 wrote:
NTA. I'm assuming your husband is vegan at least in part for ethical reasons and doesn't want what he sees as his resources (the cost of the ticket) going toward what he sees as a cruel purpose (a non-vegan meal). Part of the cost of the ticket is for the food, after all. This is a pretty unreasonable way to move through the world.
After all, the flight that he was originally happy to pay for is going to help contribute to climate change, which will impact wildlife habitats and lead to the death of many living things. Ever seen the tomato scene from The Good Place? By this logic, the only ethical choice is not to consume, period.
duke_of_ted wrote:
NTA and your husband sounds insufferable. The most important thing is ensuring your child has food they will eat, and a confined space with lots of other passengers is not the place to risk a tantrum unnecessarily.
Boobyslap05 wrote:
NTA. Children don't need to be forced into the parents' dietary choices, and if she is not vegan it wouldn't be fair to not allow her to eat something she prefers. His job as a dad is to provide for his kid, and sometimes that means things we don't always agree with.
Donequis wrote:
NTA. Militant vegan's are hypocrites unless the do not partake in the economy. Every penny spent routes back to some demolished habitat, farming industry, mining, oil, palm oil- all of that is paid for by that stupid fucking ticket. If he's so offended, give him the difference, and announce "don't worry, this money is cruelty free! And didn't go towards environmentally devastating airplane fuel!"
Sorry if I sound harsh, but those types of people just want a reason to posture and bully others. I've met very strict vegans who you would have ZERO idea, because they aren't suffering from PETA main character syndrome and think it's their job to force others to think and act like them.
The folks I still hang with go about it as "reduce harm, promote harmony," so they do not shame others and simply advocate and encourage those around them. It's as personal a choice as a religion.
benbever wrote:
NTA. I’m vegetarian. My wife and kids too. I can see how a child's meal, on a flight, for a shared custody child who isn’t vegan, can be an exception.
hypotheticalkazoo wrote:
NTA.
This is a bigger issue than the flight meal. He is refusing to provide for your daughter because she (a four year old) isnt vegan.
ThePocketPanda13 wrote:
Also worth noting that feeding young children vegan is particularly not recommended. Children have much more strict dietary requirements than adults, and its way too easy for them to become deficient in certain nutrients on a vegan diet (their diet can be extremely well monitored and they could still become deficient).
Some of the side effects include anemia, stunted growth, precocious puberty, dizziness, seizures, and a whole other gauntlet of bad. For me personally it was anemia that doubled down once I hit puberty. As a former vegan child I do not recommend.
Artistic-Emotion-623 wrote:
This is his stepdaughter- I’m confused he married/ started dating you as a non vegan and your daughter along came as a non vegan. What discussion have you had about feeding your daughter when she’s with you guys. Is it non meat/ limited meat options or she gets some meat (chicken nuggets/ farm breed meat)?
RishaBree responded:
There's nothing wrong with feeding a child a different diet between houses. In this case, OP's husband is being an unreasonable AH because they're choosing between a very small set of options that are already paid for, and won't even be in his house/on his dishes - she needs to be given something that she'll eat, and his ethical argument is illogical piffle.
But my father was a vegetarian and my mother not and so I grew up a weekend vegetarian, and it was perfectly fine. People spend entirely too much time pretending like a vegan or vegetarian meal or six requires any sort of special planning or hoops to jump through in order to make balanced and healthy for any child, or really any special thought at all. Go make a plate of spaghetti, they'll be fine.