"AITA for sending my parents on a wild goose chase?"
I (F27) do not live at home. I do not take money from my parents. I don't really rely on them for anything. I have a job and I just put a down payment on my first home. My parents think I am a helpless damsel. I had to get the locks changed on my apartment because they had an emergency key that they used randomly. When I asked for it back they refused.
One of my friends recently went on a date with a creepy guy that put an Apple tracker in her car. She has an app that detects them so she found it and tossed it in the river. I got the app because I am out there dating and I got concerned after hearing this story. I am seeing someone right now and it seems to be going well. He seems a decent fellow. Yes that's a Princess Bride quote.
Anyway I found a tracker on my car. I thought it was the guy. I didn't want to give him any clue that I found it. So I tossed it onto a pallet of produce my company has headed to Canada. It turns out it wasn't him. I did not go see my parents this last weekend but went golfing instead. The guy I am seeing called but I said I was busy. He was cool with it.
My parents on the other hand called me a dozen times. I said I was golfing. They asked were and I told them. I put my phone in do not disturb and had fun with my friends. My dad called me from Boise Idaho to ask why I threw away their tracker.
I laughed and said I would have to apologize to the guy I'm seeing because I assumed it was him doing something that shady. My parents are upset that I scared them and called me ungrateful for making light of their concerns.
The internet had a lot to say.
wittyidiot wrote:
So, obviously NTA. And likewise a funny and well-crafted post. Good job all around. But in the real world, this is grounds for a restraining order. You need to cut contact and get a s**t ton of boundaries set up, because this isn't the way parents treat "helpless damsels." This is controlling and insane, and it will only escalate.
What happens when they start showing up to your job to check in on you? What happens when they start tailing your future fiance? What happens when they decide you aren't parenting your toddler right and try to pick her up from school?
Traveling_Phan wrote:
Recently the chief of staff for my mayor was arrested for stalking. What did he do? Put an Apple tag on woman’s car. There were some other things he did and was charged with but the Apple tag sealed the deal on the stalking charge.
Discount_Mithral wrote:
NTA. This level of helicopter parenting on an almost 30yo is nuts. Have a sit-down meal with your parents at a nice restaurant. (People are less likely to make a scene if they are somewhere nice or in public.) Tell them that the tracker was out of line, and it was stalker level behavior.
They need to be treating you like a capable adult. You don't need to list out accomplishments to them, as they already know what you have going on and have still chosen to behave this way, tracking your every move on their phones like creeps.
Tell them if they can't start showing some respect for boundaries, you may need to go low contact until they can do so. If you do need to keep your word on this, please stick to it! This is not ok and not how parents build a healthy relationship with their child.
baka-tari wrote:
". . . called me ungrateful"? Why do they keep using that word? I do not think it means what they think it means.
NTA. They should be grateful you allow them in your life at all after shenanigans like this and with the level of intrusion they're attempting. This is insane, stalkerish behavior. Since they won't set reasonable boundaries, you need to. Good luck keeping them in line.
OP responded:
Nice return quote.
subsailor1968 wrote:
NTA.
Get a ROUS.
(Restraining Order of Unusual Size)
MaybeHughes wrote:
Your post is so lighthearted for something so horrifying.
You're saying your parents were sneaking into your house without your permission to the point you had to change locks? And that your parents literally tried to follow you on a "road trip?"
That's not funny or annoying; it's really really disturbing. NTA, but I'm really afraid for your privacy inside your home and on your devices
DubiousPeoplePleaser wrote:
You need a follow up act. Tell them they’re not getting any younger and have become forgetful, so you put up some cameras in their house to keep an eye on them. And when they get mad, just tell them that you are doing what they thought you about looking out for family.
And every time they annoy you, just drop a diffuse line that make them believe you are watching these non existent cameras. “Dad, picking your nose is a disgusting habit”. “ Use friends and families social media to learn things you shouldn’t know. “Mom that new blue dress looks good on you."
ResoluteMuse wrote:
NTA but you knew that. Happy to give you all of that validation! Bonus points for the PB quote and clever solution to the tracker.
Where was it hiding on your car? How far did they drive before they caught on? And you know you will need cameras in your new home for the random drive-by’s and attempts to get in right? No codes, no keys, no spares hiding under the doormat or flowerpots.
starbiebarbie99 wrote:
NTA - Your parents are bad, untrustworthy people. It is pretty normal now days to share location by choice with family members and friends via the built in iOS feature, but sticking a tracker on your adult child's car without their knowledge or consent is not normal at all and it is a massive invasion of privacy.
I would advise you to not ever share your location by choice with your parents because they have made it clear they do not respect you as an independent person.