'AITA for getting angry at my SIL after I found out that she's been asking my wife for DNA test?'
"AITA for getting angry at my SIL after I found out that she's been asking my wife for DNA test?"
My wife gave birth to our baby boy just 2 weeks ago, since then she's been suffering from mood swings and gets angry quite easily, I thought it was postpartum so I tried to convince my wife to seek help from a professional to which she refused and she kept refusing so I just gave up instead of forcing her.
I started providing as much emotional and physical support as I could but I didn't know that my wife was struggling because my SIL was asking my wife for DNA test. My wife told me the truth when I found her crying in our bedroom, when I told her that she can trust me and she absolutely needs to tell me what she's been thinking otherwise I won't be able to help her.
She told me that my sil has been asking her to do DNA test to prove that the my baby is really mine and she owes us and when she refused to do that she kept questioning whether the baby is truly mine or not.
My wife is religious, she wouldn't even show her face to another man and having sex with another man is out of question, I asked her why did she not tell me the truth, she said she didn't want me to doubt her, I told her that I would never doubt her and dna test etc is unnecessary.
i went to my SIL and asked her why did she harass my wife and said that she insulted my wife by asking for DNA test, she said she was just looking out for me and she thought my wife is trapping me because she's from different religion.
I said that she had no right to harass my wife and speak on my behalf and I don't want dna test and she should not be worried about it, I told her that she should stay away from both of us for now cause my wife just gave birth to my son and we need to focus on my wife's health and our son.
But now my sil and my brother keeps calling me and texting me that I'm being kinda unfair to her and she was trying to help me in a way and I'm inexperienced and many men never find out that their children aren't really theirs but someone else's.
I know that my son is mine and so is my wife and I trust her and I can bet my balls that my wife would never betray me but I don't know how to explain it to my SIL and my brother cause they don't even want to listen to me, am I the AH guy?
Here is what readers had to say in response to the OP’s post:
NTA. If you want to silence them the quickest then tell them that you’ve booked to have their children DNA tested as well- those that shout loudest on these topics are sometimes projecting.
Couldn’t agree more. Also, your SIL crossed a serious line by harassing your wife during one of the most vulnerable times of her life. That kind of accusation is cruel, especially when there’s no reason for suspicion. You stood up for your wife, set boundaries, and made it clear you trust her. That’s what a good partner does. Your brother and SIL are out of line. Keep protecting your family.
Ask your brother did they do a DNA test for all their children if not why is his wife ask your wife to do something she didn't do herself. Seem like the sil is projecting.
Your sil and brother sound like nut jobs. If you truly have no doubts, ignore them and live your life. Some people like to cause drama. Are you Muslim? Does your wife wear niqab? You know amongst Muslims it’s BIG DEAL— they’re accusing her of cheating, calling your child illegitimate and passing the illegitimate child as yours.
They’re questioning her character and chastity. This is a big deal. If this happened to me I would get the paternity test done and throw it in their faces and go nc. Husband can decide what he wants to do with the nut job family.
NO, you are definitely NOT out of line. THEY are, your brother and his busybody wife. Your wife believes the baby is yours. You believe the baby is yours, and neither of you has any reason to believe otherwise. That's all that your brother and Ms. Busybody have any right to know. Anything else is none of their business, period, end of sentence.
By the way, your and your wife's particular religions have nothing to do with this. I've been a Christian for more than forty years, but the advice I've given you here is exactly the same I'd have given to anyone else, regardless of religion.
Tell her that you will file harassment charges if she doesn't get lost and leave your wife alone. Just because she cheated on your brother doesn't mean everyone else is like her. NTA.
NTA. Your wife and son come first. I’m so sad that your wife thought you might believe your family and doubt her- while freshly post partum! I’d just block your family and focus on supporting her. What your SIL and brother are doing is SO out of line. They hurt your wife while at her most vulnerable. Unforgivable!
if you are 100% sure that baby is yours, then bollocks to them both - it's a Them problem. If you think that having the DNA test that shows the baby is yours would make your wife's situation/life easier, then do the DNA test for HER benefit - it might give her peace of mind to be able to show the results when they come after her again.
And if you DO get the DNA test, have it printed on to a cake and throw it at them. But also make it VERY clear to them that when that test comes back showing the baby is yours, this relationship does not go back to how it was - they have broken your trust and your wife's trust, and repairing that is not going to be easy or quick or even possible.