'AITA for slapping my brother after he gave away the money he promised me to his wife?' UPDATED

"AITA for slapping my brother after he gave away the money he promised me to his wife?"

My brother is 27m and I am 20f I don't want to sound entitled but I am entitled to the money he promised me. Our parents had funded his business and he promised to give me money for my higher education. I can't even ask my parents cause they don't have money but my brother does.

A few days ago I went to my brother and told him that I need money for my education and I need him to pay fees and help me a bit with other expenses. He said he can't cause he used all his money to fund his wife's new business and he asked me to wait awhile. I told him that I can't wait it's going to cost me a whole year, and he said he can't help right now.

I lost my cool cause my parents gave all their money to my brother and I didn't have a problem with it. We were wishing that he would become successful and help us and he promised to help me fund my education.

I told him that he promised me and it's not just his money, it's mine as well and we all trusted him but now he is betraying me and you don't have money? You should have saved up for me, I am your sister, but you compromised my education betrayed me and our parents.

He still said he doesn't have money he invested all he had in his wife's business, I got so angry I slapped him. I said that I don't need his help anymore and consider me d--d he can keep being his wife's sl-ve and do her bidding he grabbed my hand and tried to stop and talk to me but I didn't listen to him and I left.

I no longer care about my brother tbh fk him, I thought it was his love that he cared so much about his wife but now I know he's being used but I am so stressed about my future I don't know what to do and deep down I still care for my brother he used to help me so much and now I am wondering what happened to him?

The internet had a lot to say in response.

HolidayAd1176 wrote:

It's kinda your parent's fault as well. They shouldn't have given everything to him, should've given him his share and asked him to get a loan.

OkCharity3133 wrote:

Your content is not clear here. Did you give him a heads up that you will need money at least before a few months or went to him and wanted it immediately? What was agreed upon? There is no rough figure you mentioned here. How does your parents survive if they gave all the money to him.

You sound foolish to say you don't need the money anymore. You could have asked him to co sign for a loan and give you the money? If he hesitates then involve your parents. Anger and rage will not take you anywhere. Think of solutions before ruining your life.

MrsSEM84 responded:

In some Asian cultures it’s considered the norm for parents to put everything they have into the eldest child’s education to ensure they succeed in life & then it becomes the eldest’s duty to pay for the younger child’s education.

I think this is what happened here. So he would have known exactly what he was expected to pay for and when. He was happy to abide by that tradition when it was beneficial to him but is now backing out of his side of the deal.

SilentJoe1986 wrote:

YTA. You ass-ulted your brother because he didn't have money at the moment to pay for your education. Did you talk to him ahead of time so he knew the time frame he was working on? YTA for also how you talked about him and his wife. Couples support each other. Him helping his wife by investing in her business isn't being her sl-ve. It's called being a supportive husband.

He didn't tell you he wasn't going to pay for your education. He told you he needed time to get the money together to pay for it. In his shoes after being assaulted, and you insulting me and my partner, I wouldn't pay for anything in regards to you without a sincere apology and a genuine act of atonement.

A year between high school and college isn't going to hurt your future. You can get a job to start your work history and resume. Again, he didn't break his promise. YTA.

A week later, OP shared an update.

I know I will get alot of mean comments on my post, like on my previous and I am prepared and I also agree that I shouldn't have slapped my brother but I was angry cause he almost jeopardized my career and I was angry. I decided to talk to my grandparents because I need money and I was relying on my brother to help me this whole time.

My parents shared my share of inheritance with him and we were thinking that he will help us, ME during my college but he backed out. I told my grandparents everything and they sided with me, my grandpa was angry and he said that my brother already got his inheritance from our parents.

So, he won't get anything from them and he said his share of inheritance will go to me, to my college fees and other expenses and whatever I would like to do next. TBH this whole thing has been a blessing in disguise cause the amount of money I will get from my grandpa far surpasses than what I would've gotten from my parents.

My grandpa lectured him a lot and told him that he betrayed me and he should've been taking care of me instead of his wife and told him all his money is going to me, the lecture lasted a long time.

But my brother later called me and said I should've trusted him and waited a while instead of complaining to our grandparents, I told him I don't care anymore. I trusted him once but he broke my trust and he should be helping his sister not his wife when you both are already comfortable.

I told him that I am sorry for hitting him and if he wants to call p-lice on his 7 years younger sister he can but now on our sibling bond ends here I will focus on my life and build my own career way better than his, my brother tried to reconcile but I didn't believe him and told him to fk off.

The internet kept the comments coming.

[deleted] wrote:

Maybe get off your lazy a-s and get a job next time 😅

OP responded:

Ohh God forbid people try to complete their education and try to be debt free using their inheritance

[deleted] responded:

Funny how I was able to do both without an inheritance I guess people now a days are just to lazy and want everything handed to them 🤣😅

OP responded:

Cool, doesn't mean I won't fight for my inheritance and my brother gets to get everything but I don't, I have the right on my share of inheritance as much he has right on his.

BurdenedMind79 wrote:

Why did your parents share your part of the inheritance with him? Why was there an assumption he would give this money to you at a later date?

OP responded:

We trusted him, me and my parents, I trusted him to help me when needed but no he took off with the money and now he's funding his wife's business and told me to wait which would have costed me a whole year.

I am grateful for what my brother did tho kinda, he taught me to never trust anyone even your own family everyone is on their own, this whole time I was thinking he is my brother and he won't betray me and we will help each other until the end but I guess that idea is gone now.

Chickybowow wrote:

An inheritance is only after someone dies and your parents aren't dead. It was a gift.

OP responded:

For us, our parents give out their life savings and all the money they have to children and fund their education. In return, children take care of parents after they start earning. Which is why my brother got everything and we agreed in hopes that he will care for us.

AeroEaglaAC wrote:

This whole situation is incredibly dumb.

OP responded:

It is dumb cause I was a dumba-s for trusting my brother, I have no idea why everyone is fighting me like it's me against everyone online. Yes, I made a mistake by slapping him and I apologized and I cannot go back in past and undo my slapping.

If my brother didn't promise me to help me with my education I would have never agreed to let him take my share of money and I trusted him and when I need money he says he doesn't have it and he invested in his wife's business? Like what about me and my? People here are telling me to get a job or loan like million others and even if I do that, it won't fix my issue?

He gets to get all the money and I should just forgive and forget? No I fought for my money and in return I was blessed with far more than he got, I have no idea why everyone is ignoring the fact that my brother almost f--ked me over and my trust in him but I guess I will just stop responding here and live my life cause it was a mistake to post to begin with